Author Topic: I Don't Care About Your Child.  (Read 15101 times)

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Hollanda

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Re: I Don't Care About Your Child.
« Reply #90 on: October 12, 2012, 02:56:41 PM »
I've seen her twice since having DS. Before that when DH and I went there all the time she was there some or most of the time.  Sometimes i managed to stay out her way, other times she was just plain rude. If she is sitting with Helen and Liz, which she does (only people who tolerate her?) I tend to only talk briefly to them. She is the type to weigh in on other peoples' conversations.   She's always done it. Usually outside whilst we are enjoying a cigarette.   I'm basing this on past behaviour.but it's pretty clear she's not changed since we stopped going (when we moved house 2 years ago).
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Iris

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Re: I Don't Care About Your Child.
« Reply #91 on: October 12, 2012, 04:38:23 PM »
Let me preface this by saying the woman was extremely rude and brazen.  I am not excusing her behaviour in the slightest. 

Having said that, I have been in that woman's position many times with Mommy Jackers.  It could be that given Hollanda's admission of mommy jacking in the past, so much a friend had to speak to her about it,  that this woman came to expect the convo to always revolve around Hollanda's child and simply grew tired of it.  She may not have noticed Hollanda's attempt to tone it down if it was such an issue before.

Again, not excusing it.  I have sat with friends at a ladies happy hour.  Me, being the only one without kids.  I am forever amazed how people are not aware that they are constantly talking about their children, not realizing one person really isn't participating in the conversation.   I have been that woman many times.  Now, I certainly would never say what she did, but boy, I have sure felt like it!  I don't expect not to hear about their children, but when it is the topic of an entire conversation, it is not a mommy group, but a Suburban ladies 40+ Happy Hour group, I would think those convos would be kept more to a minimum. 

What I did instead was politely asked for my  bill and said I had to go.  I had planned to stay longer, but the convo just didn't interest me.

Slightly OT, but I don't think what you described is mummy-jacking at all. As pointed out earlier in the thread, mummy-jacking is when someone takes any conversation, any at all, and drags it around to their child. What you have described is just a conversation that gets stuck on one track which can happen on any topic. In a suburban 40+ women's group it is perhaps not surprising that *at times* it could get stuck on the child-track. I'm sure at other times it could get stuck on real estate prices or renovations or commuting times or their careers or their fitness regimes or hundreds of other things. I don't understand how people can talk for hours on end about football while I sit silently, bored out of my tiny little mind, but they do and it's a social reality that sometimes we have to deal with that. Having the particular topic be children doesn't make it any worse or better.
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HonorH

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Re: I Don't Care About Your Child.
« Reply #92 on: October 13, 2012, 01:36:51 AM »
Seriously, Hollanda, I think you and your friends should not cater to this woman. If she makes such a comment again, tell her, "It's what we're talking about. If it doesn't interest you, there are other places you can sit." And then go on with your conversation. She's not your friend, and etiquette doesn't demand you make accommodations for rude acquaintances. With any luck, she'll go off with her nose in a sling and pointedly ignore you.
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ZaftigWife

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Re: I Don't Care About Your Child.
« Reply #93 on: October 13, 2012, 12:32:19 PM »
This woman is giving other childfree people a bad name.  Of course, she didn't act this way because she's childfree, but because she's RUDE.  I'm sorry you had to deal with her.

ETA: Iris is right - you weren't mommyjacking.  I deal with mommyjacking a lot and I know it when I hear it!!

Roe

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Re: I Don't Care About Your Child.
« Reply #94 on: October 13, 2012, 08:24:54 PM »
Let me preface this by saying the woman was extremely rude and brazen.  I am not excusing her behaviour in the slightest. 

Having said that, I have been in that woman's position many times with Mommy Jackers.  It could be that given Hollanda's admission of mommy jacking in the past, so much a friend had to speak to her about it,  that this woman came to expect the convo to always revolve around Hollanda's child and simply grew tired of it.  She may not have noticed Hollanda's attempt to tone it down if it was such an issue before.

Again, not excusing it.  I have sat with friends at a ladies happy hour.  Me, being the only one without kids.  I am forever amazed how people are not aware that they are constantly talking about their children, not realizing one person really isn't participating in the conversation.   I have been that woman many times.  Now, I certainly would never say what she did, but boy, I have sure felt like it!  I don't expect not to hear about their children, but when it is the topic of an entire conversation, it is not a mommy group, but a Suburban ladies 40+ Happy Hour group, I would think those convos would be kept more to a minimum. 

What I did instead was politely asked for my  bill and said I had to go.  I had planned to stay longer, but the convo just didn't interest me.

Slightly OT, but I don't think what you described is mummy-jacking at all. As pointed out earlier in the thread, mummy-jacking is when someone takes any conversation, any at all, and drags it around to their child. What you have described is just a conversation that gets stuck on one track which can happen on any topic. In a suburban 40+ women's group it is perhaps not surprising that *at times* it could get stuck on the child-track. I'm sure at other times it could get stuck on real estate prices or renovations or commuting times or their careers or their fitness regimes or hundreds of other things. I don't understand how people can talk for hours on end about football while I sit silently, bored out of my tiny little mind, but they do and it's a social reality that sometimes we have to deal with that. Having the particular topic be children doesn't make it any worse or better.

Agree.  Sparksals experience is not the definition of mommy-jacking, at least in the way I understood it. 

LilacRosey

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Re: I Don't Care About Your Child., Lilacrosey
« Reply #95 on: October 16, 2012, 11:33:52 PM »
I cant believe she said that that is terrible. Rude! i'm sorry but that is not right!