Hi all - long time member but infrequent poster here. I wanted to ask about something that happened quite a few years ago but still feel humiliated by when I think about it.
A few years ago my then boyfriend became friendly with a couple that he met through a youth group. They were a host family for an exchange programme that he was involved with through his work. Long story short they invited us out to stay with them in Canada - we are from Europe. They had visited our country before and I had met them and thought they were really nice people.
Anyway,we went out there for two weeks and had a wonderful time until a few days before we left. Some friends of theirs had invited us all to a family function held in a bar/restaraunt in their town. There were lots of kids there and we were enjoying ourselves and meeting lots of new people - so far so good.
I went to the bar to get some drinks and on the way stopped to chat to our hosts daughter and her friend, whom I had never met, and offered to buy them a drink (their daughter was 21). They both asked for beers, I bought them, they thanked me, I went back to the table. That's when I got in trouble.
The mother of the friend came to our table and started loudly chastising me for buying her underage daughter a drink. Turns out the friend was only 17. I genuinely did not know that, and it never occurred to me that an underage person would ask me for an alcoholic drink, in a place where both her parents were socialising. I apologised profusely, said that I didn't realise she was only 17 and would never have got her an alcoholic drink had I known.
Our hostess asked me to come to the ladies room with her, where she proceeded to berate me for another few minutes, asking me why I did it, don't I know it's against the law etc. I just kept reiterating that I didn't know the girl was underage, I was really sorry etc. There were lots of women in the bathroom and I was humiliated and close to tears.
I *know* what I did was wrong but I really didn't know it was wrong at the time, or obviously I wouldn't have done it.
When I returned to the table the hostess's daughter and her underage friend were at the bar drinking their beers.
My question is - shouldn't the mother have immediately taken the drink from her daughter, ascertained where it came from and quietly spoken to me or our host about it?
Next day things were very strained and when I asked our hostess why the girl was allowed to continue drinking she said that none of the staff knew she was underage so no harm done, and she just dismissed the incident as 'no big deal'. Ummm well if it was no big deal why publicly humiliate me?
Maybe I'm overreacting, and would really appreciate some perspective. Thanks!