Author Topic: Did he really just say that?  (Read 5168 times)

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Slartibartfast

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Re: Did he really just say that?
« Reply #15 on: October 14, 2012, 01:20:16 AM »
Him: "Blah blah blah offensive comment"

You: "Dude, not cool.  Don't mistake the casual environment here for tolerance of [racist/sexist/whatever] stuff like that.  You're welcome to think it, but we don't want to hear it!"

(At least that's what I think I would have done, given your description of your office!)

Redsoil

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Re: Did he really just say that?
« Reply #16 on: October 14, 2012, 07:29:36 AM »
I'd go with Slartibartfast's version.
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joraemi

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Re: Did he really just say that?
« Reply #17 on: October 15, 2012, 02:26:59 PM »
I'd go with Slartibartfast's version.

POD!  I'm tucking that away for future reference whilst secretly hoping I never need it.




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hobish

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Re: Did he really just say that?
« Reply #18 on: October 16, 2012, 07:25:49 PM »
Hobish, I think I've been on this board long enough to have a good grasp of your personality - and, while most of the above suggestions are good, I imagine you'd be a little more ... straightforward.  ;) .

I am jiggling in my seat waiting to hear how you handled it!

:) That made me smile, thanks. Sorry it took a minute. Ironically, right when i had something really relevant to post about my tendonitis kicked up and kept me off the computer for a few days.
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hobish

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Re: Did he really just say that?
« Reply #19 on: October 16, 2012, 07:57:07 PM »

So ... this is what I did.

The "too religious" comment was the first one that was said to me personally and that I could say anything without feeling like a busybody. It wouldn't matter if she wasn't, but it just so happens that another coworker, one I really love, just happens to also sit very nearby and is "very religious." I told him, "You should probably turn around and not talk like that."

After the work order thing, I honestly just sat there stunned for a second. Apparently I had missed the first part of that, where he was on the phone with an HOA contact and was getting frustrated with them because they were elderly and having trouble understanding him. That's just not going to get you far anyway - do you know how many older people are HOA presidents and treasurers? A lot. And we deal with them a lot. So that lead into the comment he made to me about betting one of our account managers speaks English. At that point I really wasn't sure where to go with this, so -- and I swear I wasn't gossipping here, and the person I talked to knows that, too -- I talked to the long-time coworker (CW) on the other side of Dude. Maybe I had heard wrong, you know? Maybe ... I don't know, I was really just hoping I was wrong. I was not. This guy had mamaged to disparage old people, religious people, black people, Polish people, and random Asians in the span of a few days. The two of us decided to take it up with our supervisor.

I emailed Sup and told him that CW and I would like to speak to him privately, and that a conference room would be best. To my surprise he scheduled a meeting for that afternoon. I am very glad I talked to CW. We have both been with the company a long time, but while I can be a little bit of a firecracker she is about as reliable and calm as people come. We laid it out for him, he listened. It was kind of funny to see my normally unflappable boss look a little shocked. He said he would dig a little further, and thanks for letting him know.

Surprisingly, Dude was still at work the next day. Not only was he at work, but he had gotten a call for an interview :o  That turned out to be a matter of miscommunication. CW gave Boss the heads up and Boss said, "That's not going to happen. Keep it on the QT. I will take care of this." And he did. The next day Dude was gone, CW and I were informed we could tell people he wouldn't be back and to be discreet. Now, CW and i are the only permanent people in our section of the room, and we were to either side of Dude - so we were the ones to naturally say something and the ones that would work with him if he had issues. I am really really glad we said something because two other people afterward told me he had been saying some things that were just not cool.

So ... that's it. He's gone. I don't think Boss thinks we are mean or dramatic for bringing it up with him, and i think some of our other long-time temps were relieved. Peace and tranquility and innapropriate humor were been restored, at least temporarily.

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JenJay

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Re: Did he really just say that?
« Reply #20 on: October 16, 2012, 11:53:12 PM »
Wow! Great outcome!

hobish

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Re: Did he really just say that?
« Reply #21 on: October 17, 2012, 12:41:53 AM »
Him: "Blah blah blah offensive comment"

You: "Dude, not cool.  Don't mistake the casual environment here for tolerance of [racist/sexist/whatever] stuff like that.  You're welcome to think it, but we don't want to hear it!"

(At least that's what I think I would have done, given your description of your office!)

That would have been nicer. I've done that in the past if someone was dropping the F bomb or violating general office etiquette in some other way, especially they were new or Heaven-help-em' my trainee. I am generally in favor of going to my coworker first for any issue ... I can think of at least twice where I used advice from this board for that.  My snap judgment this time was that it wouldn't help. Your wording is very close to how I ended my meeting with Boss. "Think what you want; you just don't say that!"

Do tell HR.  Not just because he annoys you, but because this is a potential law suit waiting to happen, and could negatively impact your company.

Yes.  This right here.  This isn't "Granny Clampett is talking too much about her cat again and it's really annoying."  This is hate speech. 

Not touching legal things, but he was a contract employee. If HR needs to know they don't need me going to them for it. I told Boss. Boss told the contractor liason, and I assume told the contractor liason not to send Dude back. He works with HR and they can take it from there.

There is of course an understanding that the conversation needs to be toned down a lot. It already has been for other reasons. There was a while there where a group of us worked together long enough to know where the line was -- plus, again, there is TV news on all day every day right in front of us all the time. There are a lot of new people now, and we really should be more aware of that. HR shouldn't need to tell us that, and i am happy they don't.
It's alright, man. I'm only bleeding, man. Stay hungry, stay free, and do the best you can.
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