General Etiquette > Life...in general

passive agressive panhandlers do always tend to amuse me slightly.

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dawbs:
Just got off the phone w/ my dad.  He's on vacation w/ my mom in nearby-big-city.

I gave dad a quick call to update him on my grandpa's stay and make sure all was well.  He stepped out of the ritzy store where they were shopping to take the call. (it's a safe area, very high number of tourists, very high amount of foot-traffic, and my folks likely look like the tourists they are--we are not exactly city people, although we don't mind visiting the city)

I heard the following conversation (because dad lowered the phone and had the conversation while I was still on the other end):

Panhandler(PH):  Excuse me..

Dad:  (lowering phone) Yes?

PH:  Do you have a dollar I can have?  I'm hungry.

Dad:  Uhm, I'm afraid not  (*note, at this point, dad was looking around frantically to see if there was a place to buy the guy food.  My folks feel strongly about charity and are, IMO, very generous.  Dad won't give a panhandler $, but I've seen him buy them meals often--there were only formal sit-down places in sight...)

PH:  Sure you do...please?

Dad:  I'm afraid not *walks slightly away from the guy, having decided to continue his update w/ me inside ritzy store*

PH:  Well, I'm sure God will forgive you.  I'll ask Him to.

Dad:  Thanks, that's appreciated *trying hard not to laugh as he gets the door closed*

Rose2Bear:
Yeah that's definetly passive aggressive...   But what can you do but roll your eyes and walk away. 

Sometimes it seems the really desperate ones are most polite and sincere, and the ones who are begging for things other than food money tend to be nasty. This is soley a hypothesis, but when I worked in a down town city area once, I noticed the ones who were out there day and night (sleeping on the sidewalk) and were really and truly homeless tended to be the more sincere and less pushy, but the random people who DIDN'T have their belongings in a shopping cart and was probably just looking for some money to do who-knows-what were the rude ones.

I might be totally wrong, just an observation I made one summer that may or may not be true.

MineralDiva:
<<<PH:  Well, I'm sure God will forgive you.  I'll ask Him to.

Dad:  Thanks, that's appreciated *trying hard not to laugh as he gets the door closed*>>>

Evil Diva:  Thanks, I'll ask him to do the same for you.

Scritzy:
Oh my. Well, at least he didn't say, "You're going to hell for not giving me money!" (I've heard that one.)

Somehow I seem to have an instinct about which panhandlers really need the money and which ones just want to blow it on smokes or booze or drugs.

Good panhandler: The one who was standing in the median of 291 Bypass with a sign. I was able to wad up some money into a tight little ball, yelled, "Dude!" and tossed it at him. He picked it up and waved. I went on about my business. When I headed home, I passed him. He was walking down the sidewalk. His sign was under his arm. He held a bag and a drink from a local burger joint. Needed food. Got food.

Bad panhandler: The guy who stuck his head in my open car window as I sat in a parking lot waiting for my mother. He scared the snot out of me. He asked if I had a quarter. I said, "I'm sorry, I can't help you." And he got mad. Very huffy. I thought, If you make a wrong move, I'll roll the window up on you. Fortunately, he pulled his head out of my car and lurched on. After a while collecting quarters, he walked into the store and came out with a pack of cigarettes. (And after that, I told my mother I wasn't waiting in my car for her any more.)

Don't ask me how I know. I just do.

And the one begging from your father? No, he would not have gotten my money.

IndianInlaw:
We have a woman who sits on the sidewalk downtown and says "Miss!  Miss! Do you have any change?"

My son used to be afraid of her.

Anyways, we were discussing her on a local forum.  One day a young woman took offense with the people passing her by and started yelling for everyone to give her money.  She got quite angry.

A forum participant, who worked in a social service capacity said he knew the panhandler got some sort of check from the State of Connecticut every month.  She just panhandled to buy drugs for her boyfriend.   If she was out begging, you could look around and her boyfriend would be sitting on his motorcycle.  And sure enough, there he was!

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