Correcting people on the spelling of your name

[Carpathia]

I go by a shortened version of my full name, which is Swedish. Apart from being spelled about a zillion ways,  the short version is also the very very common short version of a very common English name.

I know several people who spell my name wrong (friends whom I've known for 10+ years) and and I never worked out a way of saying something. I hoped that all the birthday cards we sent various family members over the years would give the hint, signed using my preferred spelling. I've given up now because it's too late to point out that they've been spelling it wrong for years. My fault for waiting for subtle hints to work!

I would say something to new acquaintances though. I never worked out how to tell a mother at my kids' school that my name is not [full common name]. I don't know why she persisted in always calling me [long common name] because I'd introduced myself as [short version] and nobody else called me by my own full name or the common full name.

[Hmmmmm]

I don't know if I'd assume the people were being PA.  It could be out of habit of spelling a name a specific way.  I have a friend Scot, yes with one "t".  Because I try so hard to spell his name correctly, sometimes I forget and spell others Scotts with one "t".  I had another friend Bradon.  Again, I sometimes will send an email to a Brandon without the other 'N'. 

I'd reply to the content of the email and then tack on a btw, I spell Vicki with an 'I' not y. 

[Hmmmmm]

Babybartfast's name is Sonja.  There are other ways to spell it (Sonia and Sonya being the most common), but really only one way to pronounce it.  Therefore anyone who sees the written version should know how to say it, right?

Yeah, no.  I grew up in a very Germanic area of the country and everyone there knows the J --> Y thing and how to do a pure "o" sound.  Down here in the Bible belt, nobody does pure vowels even in the best circumstances and lots of people don't know J can make two sounds.  Babybartfast gets called Sawn-ya, Sawn-jah, Sahn-yuh, Sahn-juh, Sahn-jay, and a whole host of variations.  She's old enough the hear the difference now, but not old enough to show tact:

"No, my name is SONJA!  Mommy, why is she calling me Sawn-juh?  That's not my name!  My name is S-O-N-J-A!  Sonja!"

I hope you didn't mean to be as disparaging of everyone in the bible belt as your post sounded. But I had an aunt Juanita born in the 1930's and bible belt residents never seemed to have an issue with her name pronunciation.  As far as the Sawn part I think you're hearing an accent that could be difficult for them to overcome.

[NyaChan]

I don't think there is any regional influence on how well people can instinctively pronounce names - in fact, I've found that places with more diversity often have people who mess up my name more because they've heard 10 different versions of the same odd name.  In small towns, I'm the only person with my name around & people are often quite courteous.  Those that aren't?  Well a jerk is a jerk whether they live in the bible belt or a cosmopolitan big city.

[MummySweet]

I don't know if I'd assume the people were being PA.  It could be out of habit of spelling a name a specific way.  I have a friend Scot, yes with one "t".  Because I try so hard to spell his name correctly, sometimes I forget and spell others Scotts with one "t".  I had another friend Bradon.  Again, I sometimes will send an email to a Brandon without the other 'N'. 

I'd reply to the content of the email and then tack on a btw, I spell Vicki with an 'I' not y.

This.    I have one of those names that is very common and people often spell wrong because they are used to another spelling.   I've never thought of them as being PA... even those who continue to make the mistake after being told.   I just figure they have someone in their life who uses the other spelling.   I figure I'm me, and the spelling of my name doesn't change that.

I often do the "by the way" tack on, both in written correspondence and face to face.    I also add, "No useless vowels for me!" with a little grin.     (No offense intended to anyone who adds vowels to their name!    )

[Outdoor Girl]

I have a reasonably common first name, made famous by Ricky Nelson.  But it is spelled in a very unusual way.  Fortunately, my last name is almost as common as Smith.  I don't often worry about the spelling of my name unless it matters.  Or if I can correct it myself without any big fuss, like written on a white board or something.

I do, however, make a point of ensuring it is spelled correctly when necessary.  When I'm asked for my name, I just start spelling because if I say it first, they have already spelled it incorrectly before I start spelling.  And then say, 'My last name's Smith.  At least that part's easy.'

I do remember when my Mom was getting an ice cream cake for my birthday and the girl writing my name on in icing asked her if she was sure that was how it was spelled.  After the third or fourth time, my exasperated mother said, 'It's my daughter.  I think I know how to spell her name.'

[Tea Drinker]

I spend a fair amount of time telling people "It's Vicki with an i, thanks" or the equivalent. (Your example happens to be my real name.) But that's partly because my legal name is Vicki, not Victoria, so it feels like a larger error. There's also the practical aspect that if they get it wrong, it may mess up important paperwork--I wouldn't want to be at the airport explaining to a particularly fastidious official why the name on my ticket is one letter different from the name on my ID. Similarly, I've worked in places where my email address was based on my first name, so "Vicky" or "Vickie" or "Victoria" would have meant I didn't get my email.

[Sharnita]

I think it is uncharitable to assume people are being PA.  They might have a Vicki or two in their life and be on preset to spell it that way.  They might look at Victoria and notice that there are two Is and think logic leads them to a two I nickname.

A lot of people don't place that much attention on a mistaken name.  My own mom would get our names mixed up from time to time (that included calling us by the dog's name). Students would call me mama, auntie or even granny.  I would frequently see my name mispelled.  It wasn never intentional, I knew who they meant and the message was what was important.

[bopper]

What I do is correct it when I reply to their email and hope they notice.

[Venus193]

I have a name that's not that popular and there are three or four accepted spellings.  However, many people not only get it wrong, they do a totally wrong spelling of any version of it.  Don't they realize that this means I don't get e-mails they're sending?

[PoisonIvy]

I have a name that's not that popular and there are three or four accepted spellings.  However, many people not only get it wrong, they do a totally wrong spelling of any version of it.  Don't they realize that this means I don't get e-mails they're sending?

This. I have a name that ends in "ie" but for some reason people nearly always go for "ey", even when I've spelled out my name over the phone, and it's clearly in my email address. Both spellings of my name are equally common.

I get that it's not the most common name, and if someone guesses the spelling incorrectly, that's perfectly OK. But it's very annoying to have someone reply to an email where my name is clearly spelled in my sign off, signature and email address as "Stacie" (not my real name) with "Hello, Stacey". I'm currently going through a battle with one of my utilities companies to change my account to the correct spelling (I also have a tricky last name), despite the fact that I spelled it for them three times on the phone AND had them repeat it to me! And I frequently have people complaining that my email address keeps bouncing because, yep, they spelled my name wrong.

[Chip2]

My first name is a semi-common last name, and my last name is an unusual spelling variation of a common female first name. And my e-mail signature has my name clearly stated.

But it's not unusual for me to receive an e-mail address to "Ms. Lastname Firstname." I just ignore the confusion and write back and let the e-mail signature speak for itself. That almost always works, but the one it didn't things didn't get unconfused until the person at the other actually called and insisted on speaking to "Ms. Firstname." I had to point her back to our e-mail trail before she realized what was going on.

But I have a project manager back east that I deal with on a very irregular basis. Despite all the info in my e-mail signature she thinks I'm "Ms. Firstname" and working out of some obscure building in MD rather than AZ.

[ellebelle]

Babybartfast's name is Sonja.  There are other ways to spell it (Sonia and Sonya being the most common), but really only one way to pronounce it.  Therefore anyone who sees the written version should know how to say it, right?

Yeah, no.  I grew up in a very Germanic area of the country and everyone there knows the J --> Y thing and how to do a pure "o" sound.  Down here in the Bible belt, nobody does pure vowels even in the best circumstances and lots of people don't know J can make two sounds.  Babybartfast gets called Sawn-ya, Sawn-jah, Sahn-yuh, Sahn-juh, Sahn-jay, and a whole host of variations.  She's old enough the hear the difference now, but not old enough to show tact:

"No, my name is SONJA!  Mommy, why is she calling me Sawn-juh?  That's not my name!  My name is S-O-N-J-A!  Sonja!"

Actually..... I do know someone whose name is spelled Sonja and the J is pronounced as a J.

[LilacRosey]

I would just say to them that my name is Rosey instead of Rosy and say it nicely. No need to Annoy my coworkers, I just prefer Rosey and thanks!

[hobish]

I have a work situation I would like some feedback on please.  Let's say my name is Victoria, but I usually go by Vicky.  At work, my email signature clearly states "Vicky".

What is the etiquette of correcting people when they address me as "Vicki" in an email instead of with my preferred spelling of "Vicky"?  Most times I don't bother to correct people at all because the frequent offenders are people who are fairly passive aggressive, so I assume they are doing it intentionally and correcting them isn't going to change their lifelong habits.  I tried to not be cynical about their motivations, telling myself that since Victoria doesn't have a Y in it, they are assuming it must end with an I and just haven't noticed that every. single. email. from me states "Vicky", but its one of those things that is really demeaning in my opinion.

At one point I was correcting people the first time I saw them do it, but the PA people just kept on doing it, and the people who had made a genuine oversight were so overly apologetic that I felt like I was being too sensitive for bringing it up.

So what's a gal to do here?  Suggestions for a way to bring attention to it, remedy it, and let people know I'm not mortally offended but they are spelling my name wrong?  Wordsmithing suggestions welcome!

Make your name in your signature bigger or more pronounced, unless you have a big signature already. If you have one with a big company logo and such tacked on, it might help. If people are being passive-aggressive about using the wrong spelling only directly telling them the correct one will do; but if it is just carelessness:

Vicky Ehellion
Wizard at Large
555-555-5555
Fax: 555-999-9999

Personally, i like playing with the fonts and color and making things look nice and evened out when i do that.