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Conversation Etiquette

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gen xer:

--- Quote from: Onyx_TKD on October 14, 2012, 04:11:18 PM ---
--- Quote from: gen xer on October 14, 2012, 12:44:35 PM ---5.  Lots ofpeople would say avoid controversy at all costs but while maybe bringing up abortion or the death penalty is a bad idea...learn how to make conversation politely and respectfully on all sorts of topics - even controversila ones.   Staying completely safe and talking about weather and gardening is boooooorrrrriiiinnng....don't be that stick in the mud who everyone is afraid of saying the wrong thing around.

--- End quote ---

--- Quote from: snowdragon on October 14, 2012, 01:11:59 PM ---7) If you have deeply help beliefs in one direction, recognize that others may have equally deeply held beliefs in the other direction, if you can't acknowledge/respect other's opinions on that topic- only talk about it to like minded folks.

--- End quote ---

To expand on these, don't assume that polite silence on a topic indicates agreement. If you start in on a topic known to be controversial and realize that one or more people aren't saying a word either way, you may need to reconsider whether the topic in general and the way you're expressing your point is appropriate for the current group or venue.

--- End quote ---

Knowing how to read people is important.  If an uncomfortable silence ensues....don't keep plowing on. 

cabbagegirl28:
This is another Captain Obvious one, but I've experienced it:

Don't keep bringing a subject up that people have already beandipped. For example, a girl I knew, who has thankfully grown up since this point, would not stop talking about Scrabble and Scrabble-related activities. I tried everything I knew to get her to stop (though changing the subject to Discovery Channel was probably useless in retrospect  :P). When I say "would not stop", I mean that she would talk about that every time I saw her for 4 whole months. It was a problem.

Finally, someone responded (because no one else would say anything) in a rather rude manner: "Do you have nothing else to think about other than Scrabble? Is that all you can ever contribute to the conversation?" I wish I'd followed the rule to actually say something about it being offensive; maybe then it wouldn't have come to that.  :( She and I are good friends now, and I feel terrible about how I acted.

Danika:

--- Quote from: cabbagegirl28 on October 14, 2012, 09:04:38 PM ---Don't keep bringing a subject up that people have already beandipped.

--- End quote ---

Similar to the one above:
Don't ask very personal questions and then continue to ask once you have been beandipped.

Example
Person1: "Wow, nice car. How much did you pay for it?"
Person2: "Oh, I got it for a good price. Would you like some beandip?"
Person1: "How much did you buy the car for?"
Person2: "I'm actually pretty private about my finances. Beandip?"
Person1: "I'm serious. What did you pay?"




--- Quote from: snowdragon on October 14, 2012, 01:11:59 PM ---10) Conversation is give and take not one way. Take a break once in awhile.

--- End quote ---

Alternatively, don't knowingly go to a social function and end all attempt at conversation. When someone is making polite chit-chat and asks you "Do you have any nice vacations coming up?" don't just say "No." At least, reply "No, what about you?" or "No, but I went on a nice trip this summer. I found that I really like beaches." After someone has asked you several questions which you've replied to with one word answers, they're not going to want to keep talking at you.

Black Delphinium:

--- Quote from: Danika on October 15, 2012, 02:39:28 AM ---Alternatively, don't knowingly go to a social function and end all attempt at conversation. When someone is making polite chit-chat and asks you "Do you have any nice vacations coming up?" don't just say "No." At least, reply "No, what about you?" or "No, but I went on a nice trip this summer. I found that I really like beaches." After someone has asked you several questions which you've replied to with one word answers, they're not going to want to keep talking at you.

--- End quote ---
On the other hand, know when to walk away. If a person(or persons) at an event doesn't seem to want to converse  with you, let it go. Don't try and force rapport.

NotTheNarcissist:
How about ways to strike up a conversation with someone you just met or haven't seen  in a long time? The main 2 starters I know are:
Have you been anywhere on vacation? or -So did you take a vacation this year?
How are (_insert name of spouse and/or kids_)?

Those are old & lame, so I am soliciting suggestions here.

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