Stop Losing Weight!

[yokozbornak]

Background:  In the last two years, I have lost over a 100 pounds.  I reached goal close about 3 months ago, and my weight was been pretty stable since that time.  I am on Weight Watchers so I watch it pretty closely. I am in the mid-range of normal for my height so I am definitely not too thin (I am currently wearing a size 8 or 10).  I actually could probably stand to lose another ten pounds because I am very small boned, but I am comfortable with my current weight.

Lately, I keep getting people telling me that I need to stop losing weight.  While some say it in a teasing way, "Girl, you better stop losing weight or you are going blow away," several have been very serious and seemingly concerned.  I truly think they think I have an eating disorder (which I actually do because I wouldn't have been a 100 pounds overweight without having a dysfunctional relationship with food).

Truthfully, I am at a loss of how to respond.  Sometimes I just say that I am on maintenance so I am not currently losing weight and other times I will laugh and say that it must be my new outfit that actually fits.  I feel like that no matter how I respond, I get a look like, "Uh, huh, now she's making excuses."  I don't feel like I owe them an explanation, but the other responses like silence  or saying, "How kind of you to take an interest" don't seem to fit the situation either.   

I would love some good responses.  I actually had two comments like this today.  I was wearing a great new outfit and received several compliments, but the two negative comments left me wondering if I looked awful or sickly. 

[Amara]

"I am at my proper weight now, thank you."

[Slartibartfast]

"I like my weight as it is."  Bonus points if it's true.  People need to hear that a) it's not their call, and b) it's okay to like your body even if it's not what other people tell you it should be!

[baglady]

First: Congratulations!

Can you treat the serious comments in a lighthearted manner? "Actually, I have pretty much stopped. I'm right about where I should be. Don't worry, I'm not planning on wasting away to nothing!"

(The "pretty much" and the "just about" are your fudge factor phrases that keep it from being an actual lie. You know you want to lose another 10 pounds, but there's no need to mention that to these folks.)

[Octavia]

"Thank you for your concern. My team of certified weight loss experts is monitoring my progress to make sure I reach my goal weight in the most healthy manner possible. It's under control, and I'm really happy about it!"

By saying the above, you don't even have to share where you are on your weight loss journey. This should save you from having to explain if you lose more weight or even gain some. And it should shut down any other comments.

[NyaChan]

I remember getting that line too back in the day  - problem being that, in my case, after a while, they were right and I'd lost too much (not an issue anymore lol).  Most people mean it as a compliment - like whoohoo you are so small, you don't need to lose anymore   Others, well they are genuinely concerned that you may not know when to stop.  I would just say, "Thanks for you concern, but I've got a handle on things." or "Don't worry, I know what's healthy for me."

[kherbert05]

My doctor is happy with my weight loss, and my maintance plan. In an icy tone.

[etiquetteE]

"So kind of you to take an interest.  My doctor is very pleased with my weight loss and health".

Evil E would add "If I need a second doctors opinion, I'll be sure to ask you".  But that's definitely not EHell approved.   

[PastryGoddess]

^^^
POD to the two above.  And make sure to emphasize the word doctor, just in case they don't get it

[bloo]

Congratulations! That's a lot of hard work and I bet it feels great to be able to be easily more physical.

I don't have any advice though because I was in the same situation. Friends watched me lose 70 lbs over an 18-month period of time (for me a size 16US to size 2/4US. Comments went from "hey you're losing weight" to "wow you look great" to "stop losing weight" to "just quit starving yourself already".

I was sick of it and it was usually from the same people. Funny thing is as at my current weight I'm eating over twice as much as when I started dieting because I'm insanely active. Which is why friends asking if I'm anorexic pisses me off.

So, depending on the situation, I bean dip, thank them for their interest, or give a brief answer. When we moved to the next town, I met a lot of new people and made new friends, so they didn't know I was severely obese and nobody comments on my weight. But when I hang with my old friends it's STILL a topic.

So unless you can move and make all new friends, I got nuthin' for ya!

Congrats on making yourself healthier!

[GratefulMaria]

"So kind of you to take an interest.  My doctor is very pleased with my weight loss and health".

Evil E would add "If I need a second doctors opinion, I'll be sure to ask you".  But that's definitely not EHell approved.   

Perfect!  With my striking optional -- because depending on the person who says this, you may decide whether that added information is even warranted.  (PastryGoddess posted while I was writing about emphasizing the "doctor" part; I agree you may want to do that with some people in your life.  Others, it may be none of their business.)

And congratulations!

[Sharnita]

I think that when people are used to you being a certain weight, even if it is really heavy , when you lose a lot of weight the new you seems "wrong" and really does cause people concern because it is so different from the person they are used to seeing. I think in OPs case I would reassure them that the goal is maintanence and not loss.

[yokozbornak]

Congratulations! That's a lot of hard work and I bet it feels great to be able to be easily more physical.

I don't have any advice though because I was in the same situation. Friends watched me lose 70 lbs over an 18-month period of time (for me a size 16US to size 2/4US. Comments went from "hey you're losing weight" to "wow you look great" to "stop losing weight" to "just quit starving yourself already".
I was sick of it and it was usually from the same people. Funny thing is as at my current weight I'm eating over twice as much as when I started dieting because I'm insanely active. Which is why friends asking if I'm anorexic pisses me off.

So, depending on the situation, I bean dip, thank them for their interest, or give a brief answer. When we moved to the next town, I met a lot of new people and made new friends, so they didn't know I was severely obese and nobody comments on my weight. But when I hang with my old friends it's STILL a topic.

So unless you can move and make all new friends, I got nuthin' for ya!

Congrats on making yourself healthier!

That bolded sounds scarily familiar!   As someone who has struggled with my weight for years, losing this is a very real victory for me.  I just wish people could be encouraging or keep quiet.  I struggle enough with my self-image and don't need people making me feel bad even if they are well-intentioned (and I do think most are well intentioned.  I think others say it because I am now smaller than they are). 

[Luci45]

I think that when people are used to you being a certain weight, even if it is really heavy , when you lose a lot of weight the new you seems "wrong" and really does cause people concern because it is so different from the person they are used to seeing. I think in OPs case I would reassure them that the goal is maintanence and not loss.

I have seen two people, a dear friend and our son, loose significant amounts of weight. Fortunately, I kept my mouth shut when I started worrying and am now used to both of them. They are fine.

Maybe after you've said, "So kind of you to take an interest," and assured those you care about that it is under control, you can tell them that they will get accustomed to the new you. Then never respond to a comment at all again.

Congratulations!

[Elisabunny]

I think that when people are used to you being a certain weight, even if it is really heavy , when you lose a lot of weight the new you seems "wrong" and really does cause people concern because it is so different from the person they are used to seeing. I think in OPs case I would reassure them that the goal is maintanence and not loss.

pod.  It sounds like it most cases the comments are out of genuine concern.  In which case, icy or snarky seems unnecessary.