The embellisher

[LilacRosey]

I just act all shocked, like CRUD MONKEYS! that happened? Really wide eyed and stuff. They either Continue or they shut up realquick

[Giggity]

Who has one of these in their lives...the chronic embellisher?  I have a friend - a good friend with many good qualities - who nonetheless is one of those people who always exaggerates just about anything she is talking about.  Of course I can't pinpoint exactly what is truth and what is fiction....but she is one who seems to have stunningly frequent encounters with the most horribly rude, incompetent, awful people EVERYWHERE she goes.  Grocery stores, her kids school, driving down the street, going to the park....everything seems to have some sort of shocking incident with awful people.

I listen to her recount these stories - awful kids, awful teachers, awful sales clerks, perverts, bad parents and bullies galore while internally rolling my eyes.  I flat out don't believe 90 % of what she says.

I always thought that it is rude to call people out on this - if they want to create a dramatic story for the sake of creating a dramatic story then fine - knock yourself out....but when you are supposed to be captivated and shocked along with her every time...

." No way - he didn't say that!"
" You're kidding!  She did what?  So what did you do?"

I can't bring myself to do it anymore.  I feel like a fool going along with it.  Lately I have been kind of...dismissive isn't the word...but blase.  Yes....definitely blase as though nothing she says shocks or scandalizes me...because it doesn't.

How do you guys handle them?  Just curious!

Same way I handle most of the stories here lately. Doubt, but observe in case of interesting trolling.

[Daquiri40]

The stories are entertaining.  I wouldn't like to have a embellishing close friend though as it would get really old.

I know a woman that has the most horrendous restaurant experiences.  Worms in her salad (like lots of them), raw chicken, raw fish, dried out steak, rotten potatoes, moldy bread....I have had a few bad meals but never anything like that...all of the time!  It's a wonder she still goes out to dinner!

[O'Dell]

The stories are entertaining.  I wouldn't like to have a embellishing close friend though as it would get really old.

I know a woman that has the most horrendous restaurant experiences.  Worms in her salad (like lots of them), raw chicken, raw fish, dried out steak, rotten potatoes, moldy bread....I have had a few bad meals but never anything like that...all of the time!  It's a wonder she still goes out to dinner!

Heh...I'm that lady. Well not the worms in the salad, but I do have horrendous restaurant experiences. I've had people assume that I'm the embellisher. Until they go out to eat with me and witness something go weird each time. Most of the time it's something not "horrendous" but more like having to order my 2nd or 3rd choice (this happens to me a lot!!) or just not getting my food or food without essential ingredients (a bean burrito without beans?  ). But I've had the raw chicken, raw fish, cockroach in my water, food that tasted like gasoline (?!), etc. I had just enough good experiences that I didn't stop eating out and I seem to have burned off some of whatever bad karma I was carrying around because it's gotten better in recent years. Still...I will not special order anything: if I can't order a dish "as is" off the menu, then I don't order it because I just don't know what I might get.

Okay that was a bit off topic of me, but it does lead me to what I do with embellishers. I let them know if I'm skeptical as well as open to the possibility that they really do have that sort of bad luck. I ask questions: Do you really have that sort of bad luck? Why do you think that happens to you? Chance? Your demeanor? Your face? Karma? What?

This is probably why I don't have embellishers as close friends and to have such interesting conversations with people like me who aren't embellishing.

[LadyClaire]

The stories are entertaining.  I wouldn't like to have a embellishing close friend though as it would get really old.

I know a woman that has the most horrendous restaurant experiences.  Worms in her salad (like lots of them), raw chicken, raw fish, dried out steak, rotten potatoes, moldy bread....I have had a few bad meals but never anything like that...all of the time!  It's a wonder she still goes out to dinner!

Heh...I'm that lady. Well not the worms in the salad, but I do have horrendous restaurant experiences. I've had people assume that I'm the embellisher. Until they go out to eat with me and witness something go weird each time. Most of the time it's something not "horrendous" but more like having to order my 2nd or 3rd choice (this happens to me a lot!!) or just not getting my food or food without essential ingredients (a bean burrito without beans?  ). But I've had the raw chicken, raw fish, cockroach in my water, food that tasted like gasoline (?!), etc. I had just enough good experiences that I didn't stop eating out and I seem to have burned off some of whatever bad karma I was carrying around because it's gotten better in recent years. Still...I will not special order anything: if I can't order a dish "as is" off the menu, then I don't order it because I just don't know what I might get.

Okay that was a bit off topic of me, but it does lead me to what I do with embellishers. I let them know if I'm skeptical as well as open to the possibility that they really do have that sort of bad luck. I ask questions: Do you really have that sort of bad luck? Why do you think that happens to you? Chance? Your demeanor? Your face? Karma? What?

This is probably why I don't have embellishers as close friends and to have such interesting conversations with people like me who aren't embellishing.

I have bad luck with forms and official paperwork.

According to my marriage certificate, I'm 4 years younger than I actually am because they marked my birth date down wrong. My car's registration was nearly cancelled because the insurance company wrote down my VIN wrong, so the DMV thought I had no insurance and sent me a nasty letter about it. It took me weeks to straighten that one out because my insurance agent kept screwing up. I've had my medical records mixed up with someone else's, my bank cashed someone else's check on my account, I've been billed for things I shouldn't have been billed for because someone screwed up somewhere, and so on and so forth. It's so bad that my co-workers refer to me as cursed when it comes to forms and paperwork. Every time I open a bill, or a letter from the bank, or my insurance company, I assume something is going to be wrong because it seems like 8 times out of 10, there's some stupid issue that wasn't my fault. I am obsessive about making sure everything is correct on my end of things, but someone somewhere always manages to mess things up.

[Giggity]

I let them know if I'm skeptical as well as open to the possibility that they really do have that sort of bad luck. I ask questions: Do you really have that sort of bad luck? Why do you think that happens to you? Chance? Your demeanor? Your face? Karma? What?

This strikes me as a great tactic. You're not calling them out; to the contrary, you're actually responding and holding a conversation that they chose to start.

[Hijinks]

My husband is like that to a degree.  If I have a headache, he suddenly develops the worst migraine known to mankind.  He likes to tell stories too.  But I lurvs him anyway

EDIT:  I *am* trying to fix my signature, I promise!  I keep resizing it at Photobucket and it still looks huge

[AfleetAlex]

Until then, Hijinks, I'm going to enjoy the view. 

[Seraphia]

The stories are entertaining.  I wouldn't like to have a embellishing close friend though as it would get really old.

I know a woman that has the most horrendous restaurant experiences.  Worms in her salad (like lots of them), raw chicken, raw fish, dried out steak, rotten potatoes, moldy bread....I have had a few bad meals but never anything like that...all of the time!  It's a wonder she still goes out to dinner!

Heh...I'm that lady. Well not the worms in the salad, but I do have horrendous restaurant experiences. I've had people assume that I'm the embellisher. Until they go out to eat with me and witness something go weird each time. Most of the time it's something not "horrendous" but more like having to order my 2nd or 3rd choice (this happens to me a lot!!) or just not getting my food or food without essential ingredients (a bean burrito without beans?  ). But I've had the raw chicken, raw fish, cockroach in my water, food that tasted like gasoline (?!), etc. I had just enough good experiences that I didn't stop eating out and I seem to have burned off some of whatever bad karma I was carrying around because it's gotten better in recent years. Still...I will not special order anything: if I can't order a dish "as is" off the menu, then I don't order it because I just don't know what I might get.

Okay that was a bit off topic of me, but it does lead me to what I do with embellishers. I let them know if I'm skeptical as well as open to the possibility that they really do have that sort of bad luck. I ask questions: Do you really have that sort of bad luck? Why do you think that happens to you? Chance? Your demeanor? Your face? Karma? What?

This is probably why I don't have embellishers as close friends and to have such interesting conversations with people like me who aren't embellishing.

I have bad luck with forms and official paperwork.

According to my marriage certificate, I'm 4 years younger than I actually am because they marked my birth date down wrong. My car's registration was nearly cancelled because the insurance company wrote down my VIN wrong, so the DMV thought I had no insurance and sent me a nasty letter about it. It took me weeks to straighten that one out because my insurance agent kept screwing up. I've had my medical records mixed up with someone else's, my bank cashed someone else's check on my account, I've been billed for things I shouldn't have been billed for because someone screwed up somewhere, and so on and so forth. It's so bad that my co-workers refer to me as cursed when it comes to forms and paperwork. Every time I open a bill, or a letter from the bank, or my insurance company, I assume something is going to be wrong because it seems like 8 times out of 10, there's some stupid issue that wasn't my fault. I am obsessive about making sure everything is correct on my end of things, but someone somewhere always manages to mess things up.

Mine is computer/electronics problems. It might seem like the computer's just overheating, but that's because the heat sink is upside down. It's not just that the network connection is down, it's that the other end of the network has decided not to recognize the new antivirus update and is assuming that my computer is completely unprotected. The cable box isn't full, it's somehow frozen, including the clock. My slogan at work is "I break things in weird ways."

As far as embellishment, I would stop giving her a huge reaction. Whatever story she tells you, you can mentally subtract about 25% of the amazingness, and respond accordingly. It sounds like she enjoys living a dramatic life, but you don't have to take what she says as pure truth all the time.

[EMuir]

I have had two friends who embellished. The one was annoying in other ways so I just let the friendship drop.  The other is a good guy, but he just likes to be able to tell a story that is more exciting.  I assume so anyway, because I can't see how as many men and women are hitting on him as he claims(he's gay). But the stories he tells are harmless and interesting so I just nod and smile and enjoy them.

[mj]

Guiltily raising my hand as a storyteller   For me, it's to entertain and it's inherited.  Most of my family does it as sport.  However, I don't know of anyone who embellishes about ordinary, every day things and does it constantly.  I think ignoring her and not feeding into it will diminish the kick she gets out of telling her stories and that'll be the most effective way to get her to stop telling you.  There's no fun in telling a story if there's not an audience.

[whiskeytangofoxtrot]

We had an IT guy like that. Totally inept at his job, but wow, could he tell some tall tales! My response was a disgusted look and a dry, "Yeah, sure you did, Bill." Among his claims- he once helped Barbara Bush sneak out of the Bush Presidential Library, right under the noses of the Secret Service, and brought her back to his place where they got totally smashed on margaritas; the FBI (or was it CIA? Maybe both!)  brought him a laptop to crack, because they couldn't do it - and this guy couldn't even master Outlook; and when he was a bull rider, he would smoke a cigarette almost to the filter and drop it into the animal's ear just before the chute opened, to get a better ride (I can just about guarantee that if PRCA or PBR didn't break him with fines and pull his sanction permanently, PETA would rip him to shreds- or what was left of him after his fellow riders got done with him!).

Foul, useless, creepy little man, but he did have some entertainment value, at least.

[bopper]

When the Embellisher tells someone her story...what does she want to get out of the experience? Is she looking for someone to hang on her every word and validate her drama?  Perhaps don't provide her the feedback she wants.

"You sure do seem to have traffic troubles every time you come to work down Main Street. Have you tried a different route?"

[Twik]

I've had so many problems with air travel that one person asked me, "Don't you ever have any normal flights?"

[gypsy77]

All I have been able to think about this whole thread is the movie Big Fish.