Author Topic: The embellisher  (Read 6849 times)

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Thipu1

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #30 on: October 17, 2012, 03:14:25 PM »
I've had so many problems with air travel that one person asked me, "Don't you ever have any normal flights?"

We've had a similar problems with cruises.  We've had so many sailings that there will be a few glitches here and there. We have been missed ports, storms that kept us holed up in port overnight, rescues at sea, Medivac operations, engine trouble and even a crew member overboard.

At a bar on board one evening we were talking to another couple and trading travelers' tales.  They asked for our contact information because they wanted to avoid booking on the same voyages in the future. 

PS.  we were all laughing and having a good time so it wasn't as if they wanted to avoid us personally.       

rose red

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #31 on: October 17, 2012, 03:52:15 PM »
I have a cousin like this.  She loves to brag about all the medical conditions she's (never) had.  Anorexia, Lyme disease, meningitis, cutting, food poisoning from recalled foods (all of them!), etc.  Any non-fatal medical condition that pops up in the news, she'll have a story soon after.  Any train accident in the news, she was there. 

She's also psychic and can see ghosts.  She has affairs with rich and famous men.  She a vegan (it's so trendy now, you know) as she scarfs down meat when she thinks nobody is looking.

Like others on this thread, I just smile and nod since I don't see her often.  There must be some kind of need in her life.

siamesecat2965

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #32 on: October 17, 2012, 07:56:59 PM »
I have a co-irker like that. Anytime anyone mentions anything, she's done it, lived there, traveled there, etc.  She's probably in her 50's? so a bit older than me, but I said to someone the other day, she must be at least 150 to have done everything she's done, jobwise, and owned all the businesses she says she has.  she also annoying to boot so I try and avoid her as much as I can.

heathert

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #33 on: October 17, 2012, 08:06:03 PM »
I think sometimes you really need to know if this person has mental problems or not.  My brother, is a good example.  I have tried to get him to see his part in things or ask "Did it really happen that way?" and unfortunately with him, it hasn't changed his attitude.  I personally would have nothing to do with an embellisher for this reason.

If its a co-worker, I show faint interest in anything they say, but otherwise I leave and leave quickly.

CakeEater

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #34 on: October 17, 2012, 10:14:08 PM »
I truly don't think many of these people are setting out to deceive others. I think it's just in their nature to want to be entertaining.

Itza

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #35 on: October 18, 2012, 02:25:33 AM »
My former friend did this.

She repeated her stories so much, I knew them as if they were my own. However, while the stories were basically true, each retelling she would embellish it to make her sound better than she probably was in the beginning. You know how after an interaction, you wished you'd said X, Y, or Z? Well, each time she'd retell it, she claimed she did say X, Y, or Z and for a while it left me feeling like I'd never want to be in a disagreement with her because she'd wipe the floor with me verbally.

I never did say anything to her about it. Partly it was the fear of the above but also because I couldn't get a word in edgeways!




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cabbageweevil

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #36 on: October 18, 2012, 04:38:56 AM »
I have a co-irker like that. Anytime anyone mentions anything, she's done it, lived there, traveled there, etc.  She's probably in her 50's? so a bit older than me, but I said to someone the other day, she must be at least 150 to have done everything she's done, jobwise, and owned all the businesses she says she has.  she also annoying to boot so I try and avoid her as much as I can.

She sounds like the twin of a one-time work colleague of mine.  A sweet, kind woman in many ways; but the stuff which she had supposedly done in her life, and the amount of time which she gave to bending her colleagues' ears, at length, about it... She must have spent at least 50% of her "working" day spouting, not working (this was a relatively low-pressure work situation, where some could act thus, and the basics still got done).  The general combination of factors herein had those who worked with her, feeling rather driven round the bend.

This lady seemed very much to have genuine mental issues, rather than just trying to "entertain".  Overall, it sometimes seems a bit surprising just how many "embellishers" of one kind or another, one encounters in life.

Girlie

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #37 on: October 18, 2012, 11:11:18 AM »
I have a few of these in my life, but I think the particular people I have to deal with have real mental issues, so I take half of everything they say seriously and let the rest ebb and flow... I know it's all going to be repeated anyway at some point.

One dear lady, who really is an overall nice person, is something of a hypochondriac. She's diabetic. And she has back problems. And she has heart problems. She has thyroid issues. She has migraines. She has seasonal allergies (which result in hives that no one else can see). She has IBS. She has a new cold or stomach virus every other week. She often suffers recalled products (ie. if an item is recalled that carries the same brand name but nothing else, she SWEARS that they must have just missed those dates or box numbers, because it made her DEAD SICK).  I am in no way saying that someone couldn't really suffer all those things, within reason, but if you knew her... Well. Oh! Almost forgot, she also suffers from vitamin deficiencies and plantar fascitis and so on and so forth forever and forever.

The other person I know is - I think  - a compulsive liar. He creates fantastical stories designed to terrify you and make himself seem like a martyr or victim of some great atrocity. His stories have little or nothing to do with reality, and they're frequent. 

ScubaGirl

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #38 on: October 18, 2012, 01:30:31 PM »
I have a good friend who exaggerates.  If there were 3 people there, she'll say 20.  If it was snowing then she'll say it was a blizzard.

I had a coworker who had a lot of stories of horrible service, food, experiences, etc.  I used to think she was exaggerating but after I knew her for a while I wondered.  The thing is, she would approach things in a negative way with a negative tone of voice that I can see, say, waiters being rude or not caring if something wasn't right.  She really brought a lot of that down on herself.

Pippen

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #39 on: October 18, 2012, 05:51:54 PM »
I used to work with a guy AJ who was a compulsive liar and maker up of all sorts of mad stories. Everyone knew he did this and not to trust a single thing he ever told you but he was hugely amusing and people were always getting taken in by him. He once told one of our more senior colleagues I used to be a man. And this guy believed him. He was looking at me funny for a few days and came over and asked me if it was true. I wasn't offended I just asked him where he had heard that from and he told me it was from AJ. I told him that no it was not true and that he knew what AJ was like. It was pretty funny though and we never let him forget it.

For the record I do not look like a man.

CarolinaEmerald

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #40 on: October 18, 2012, 10:45:02 PM »
Why do we give embellishers so much slack when they are plain out-and-out liars?  Do we need that much entertainment in our lives?
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White Lotus

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #41 on: October 19, 2012, 12:44:42 AM »
Twik, are you my secret sister?  I fly a lot, and there are always issues!  Always!   The latest series is no (specially ordered and confirmed vegetarian) food on long hauls.   That went on for five solid years once, and it is starting up again.

I might suggest saying to the Embellisher, "Wow!  You have so many great stories!   Have you considered writing them down?   You could make them even better if you did!  You can get a free blog through.... (etc.)"  IOW, bean dip with deflection.

cabbageweevil

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #42 on: October 19, 2012, 02:40:29 AM »
I might suggest saying to the Embellisher, "Wow!  You have so many great stories!   Have you considered writing them down?   You could make them even better if you did!  You can get a free blog through.... (etc.)"  IOW, bean dip with deflection.
My rather nutty work colleague (mentioned above) once said that she was planning to write her autobiography. She was going to call it "Stranger Than Fiction"...

yertle turtle

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #43 on: October 19, 2012, 04:55:15 AM »
You have my sympathy, OP.  An embellisher is bad enough, but one who expects you to react to all of their exaggerations with shock and awe is even worse.
The embellisher in my life (if someone yelps in surprise he will call it deafening screams, if someone squeezes past him they "shoved him out of the way" etc) is wonderful in many ways but is quite judgmental. He often relates stories of *terrible* things people have done and encourages me to judge them, by asking questions like, "who does that?". 
Half the time I find myself  assuming that what actually happened was not that bad and the other half I am thinking, "who does that? Well - me - sometimes".
the result is usually a very blank face from me, which he finds deflating.  (Win.)
What I really hate about this is the thought that he may be telling others similar tales about  me...

Giggity

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Re: The embellisher
« Reply #44 on: October 19, 2012, 08:15:58 AM »
It is entirely polite to think, "Who does that? Given your truthiness record, NO ONE EVER."

It is, however, not polite to think that in your outside voice.
Words mean things.