Author Topic: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time  (Read 8236 times)

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TootsNYC

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #15 on: October 19, 2012, 12:31:01 AM »
I told her if it's that bad she should call 911.

Go, you!

In fact, you need to remember: There is almost NO emergency that REALLY needs you to answer then. If someone is at death's door, and you have 1 hour to get there before they die--maybe.

But if she sprains her ankle at the mall and can't drive home, some kind person at the mall will help her. At *least* until you are free and can call her back, in 1.5 hours. And if it's bad enough that medical attention will make a difference, then, in the words of SOMEONE wise, "Call 911."

I think that the reason she's calling you at 8pm, or in the evening, is that this is a normal time to connect with people, and you're the person she wants to connect with. (Does she have no family living with her, I wonder?)

She'll know you're screening her calls no matter what you do in the future w/ technology, but it might be good to fix it so that it doesn't automatically do that.

And I wouldn't check the phone at all--just set it so ALL calls go to the answering function.

And you might make it a point to call her back at a set time, and then say, "I want to talk to you each night, at 9:30--how does that fit your schedule?"

In other words, focus on a positive, what you DO want ("I want to speak with you at X time") and not on what you DON'T want ("I don't want to speak with you at 8pm").

Rohanna

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #16 on: October 19, 2012, 12:56:58 AM »
If it's an iphone, judging from your "slide the bar" comment:

Quote
The Do Not Disturb feature is great when you want to keep your iPhone quiet. Under the settings on your handset you can choose to toggle it or you can alternatively set up quiet times if you go into Settings, Notifications and then choose Do Not Disturb. You can now set yourself a time range and make sure that calls from contacts you choose always come through.

I love this feature, because my FIL *always* calls my phone at 8pm as well, even when he knows my husband is at work and that is when I am putting the kids to bed. Now I just filter calls out- but I don't have to worry about remembering to turn the phone back on. As well, there is an "emergency" setting that allows callbacks within 3 minutes to ring through, though that won't help with a persistant SS.
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. ~ Jack Layton.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #17 on: October 19, 2012, 09:02:03 AM »
Given your sister's previous controlling behavior and "Me, me, me" ways, yeah, you handled it just fine and I'm with PP's that it's totally controlling!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Auntie Mame

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #18 on: October 20, 2012, 12:36:27 PM »
As I explained to my Mom, a cell phone does not mean I am now on call 24/7.  I answer my phone only when it is convenient for me to talk.  If it's urgent, leave a message and I will check my voicemail and call back.

Your sister is being obnoxious and inconsiderate.
Auntie needs fuel, black coffee and a side car.

JoW

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #19 on: October 20, 2012, 02:46:20 PM »
Another think you can do is put her in your contacts list and assign her number the ring tone "no ring" if you never want to answer her calls, or a single beep if you want to know when she calls and answer when it works for you.

Refusing to chat with here when you are busy is perfectly reasonable. 

Tea Drinker

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #20 on: October 20, 2012, 08:50:40 PM »
Yesterday a friend of mine returned my call from the day before, and was somewhat apologetic about not having answered the phone at the time (because she was feeling stressed). Remembering this thread, I pointed out that I had just called to chat (that had been in my message) and added that she's not a paramedic, and if it had been an emergency, I would have called 9-1-1.
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

Golden Phoenix

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #21 on: October 31, 2012, 04:26:02 PM »
The great Stephen Fry describes the telephone as being the rudest invention of our time. He says it's the equivalent of someone standing in your house, banging on the table and shouting "Talk to me now! Talk to me now! Talk to me now!"

A ringing phone is not a summons although many people treat it that way. Feel free to ignore it. Your sister is being utterly obnoxious.

tangelloyellow

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #22 on: November 02, 2012, 11:18:52 PM »
I agree you were fine. I live time zones away from friends and family and I always take it into account.

None of my friends or family have requested I don't call at a certain time. I just worked it out through knowing what they get up to with commitments/kids/work.

The fact that you specifically outlined the bad times to call - and she still does it - is pretty selfish.

She sounds like a friend of mine who always calls when I am at work. Why dear friend? Why? In any case I just listen to her voice message and if it is not important I ring her back on the bluetooth while driving home.

LilacRosey

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #23 on: November 04, 2012, 01:22:04 AM »
I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all., LilacRosey

oogyda

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #24 on: November 09, 2012, 11:39:59 AM »
If she doesn't call at 8, she calls right at 6, when I'm putting dinner on the table, so the next busiest time of day. This is very frustrating for me. She doesn't work business hours so she could call at 11, or 1, or 2, or 3, when things are usually pretty quiet, but she likes to talk in the evening I guess.

Why don't you call her 11, or 1, or 2, or 3?  Just every now and then to "train" her that this is when you have time to talk. 

If you just don't want to talk to her, you don't have JADE to us....or her.
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

weeblewobble

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #25 on: November 11, 2012, 06:54:43 PM »
It sounds like another example of your sister trying to power play you into doing something you don't want to do, because it will show that she has control over you.  She's getting upset because you're not playing along.  Good for you.

rain

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #26 on: November 17, 2012, 07:32:28 AM »
update?
"oh we thank thee lord for the things we need, like the wind and the rain and the apple seed"

thedudeabides

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Re: Not answering when someone calls at a certain time
« Reply #27 on: November 19, 2012, 05:41:19 PM »
You're doing fine. I'd just turn the phone on silent and let it ring.