Takeaway lunch disaster.... urgent advice please!

[Sharnita]

I don't take thing I can't pay for either.  However the experience OP describes reminds me of a time I was at the dollar store and got back way too much change from the cashier.  I tried to tell her.  I told her the total and she agreed.  I told her what I had given her and what she had given me and sh agreed but she didn't understand how the two numbers added together and that the total was way more than what I had given her.  I tried again.  I tried again.  I explained it several different ways.  I basically went through an extensive lesson in math and money and she never did get it.  I finally did beg her to take what I knew to be the overpayment but the amount of time and stress it took made me fervently wish I had never walked into the store. 

[dharmaexpress]

I think that in your case, it is an entirely different scenario.  In something like you described, I would do the same as you, go back and pay.  Or send a check in the mail depending on far the drive was.  The OP's situation is entirely different.  I would do like others stated and donate the money to someone else if she feels that badly, but after the experience the OP had, there is no way I would be going back to that place of business for any reason.   Well, maybe I would try it one more time and see if they were having an off day, and depending on my revisit would depend on if they get paid or not for my first visit.

I'm not quite in line with never returning to the place - I'd try to let the manager know and give them another chance, but maybe I'm being Pollyanna-ish.  The payment issue is separate from the ridiculous service experience, for me.

I really can't understand not paying for something I've received because there was an oversight.  Lunch or sports equipment, it makes no difference to me.  (I should mention I participate in a religion/philosophy that has a mandate about this, so I may approach it differently than other people.)

[Giggity]

She handed it to me and I noticed immediately that it was completely white and creamy, not chocolatey like it usually is.   Surprised, I commented "Oh it looks quite creamy! Oh well that's fine" and turned to walk away.

That's sort of PA, and it would put a lot of people on the defensive.

[Sharnita]

I think that in your case, it is an entirely different scenario.  In something like you described, I would do the same as you, go back and pay.  Or send a check in the mail depending on far the drive was.  The OP's situation is entirely different.  I would do like others stated and donate the money to someone else if she feels that badly, but after the experience the OP had, there is no way I would be going back to that place of business for any reason.   Well, maybe I would try it one more time and see if they were having an off day, and depending on my revisit would depend on if they get paid or not for my first visit.

I'm not quite in line with never returning to the place - I'd try to let the manager know and give them another chance, but maybe I'm being Pollyanna-ish.  The payment issue is separate from the ridiculous service experience, for me.

I really can't understand not paying for something I've received because there was an oversight.  Lunch or sports equipment, it makes no difference to me.  (I should mention I participate in a religion/philosophy that has a mandate about this, so I may approach it differently than other people.)

I think a lot of us participate in religions that mandate not taking things you haven't paid for.  For those who don't have a formal religion that mandates it, many still have a personal moral code that does. 

[lowspark]

I don't see that as PA. I see it more as thinking out loud. She observed that it was creamier than expected and expressed surprise about it. Then she decided it was ok anyway and voiced that.

[dharmaexpress]

I think a lot of us participate in religions that mandate not taking things you haven't paid for.  For those who don't have a formal religion that mandates it, many still have a personal moral code that does.

Oh!  That is *not* what I meant, but it's entirely my fault for making it sound that way.  I don't think this is theft, which is decried by religion and everyone with a conscience.  I'm referring to something else about things being freely given and intention.

Hope that makes sense, I was absolutely not implying that my beliefs were on a higher moral ground or that morals are only available to the religious.

[Giggity]

We don't have to say everything we think, especially not if there's a really good chance it could be taken as a criticism.

[O'Dell]

We don't have to say everything we think, especially not if there's a really good chance it could be taken as a criticism.

That goes for the employee behind the counter too. She didn't have to get defensive or yell about a customer's comment that may or may not have been a veiled criticism.

[lowspark]

We don't have to say everything we think, especially not if there's a really good chance it could be taken as a criticism.

Ok, I'll bite. But really don't you sometimes think out loud? It's sort of normal to do so, sometimes. Maybe you don't so you can't relate. I admit that sometimes words do slip out of my mouth before I can stop them. And honestly, in the grand scheme of things, what she said was pretty innocuous. I won't argue this any further as I think it's pretty silly. I can't imagine that a reasonably server in a reasonable mood and in an otherwise reasonable situation would have responded to that in a hostile way. In fact, even IF the OP had really been PA about it, it would still be the server's job to ask if she could remedy the problem, not to yell at her. That would be fall unde the heading: Good Service.

[DavidH]

If I were going back or passing by or it were very close, I can see offering to pay.  On the other hand, there is a limit to how far out of my way I'll go to correct someone else's mistake.

I wouldn't send payment with a coworker since that would be subjecting someone else to the chaos and that seems somehow unfair. 

I'm not sure i would feel an obligation to pay, but if it's close, I'd go back, mention to the owner what happened and offer the $5.  If at that point the owner refuses, then I wouldn't push the point since I would feel I'd made the effort.  Arguing with them extensively to take my money just seems above and beyond what is required.

[rose red]

If you pay, perhaps you can write a note about your experience and why you didn't pay due to all the confusion.  Put it in an envelope with the money and drop it off to the manager.  I think trying to explain might get confusing and you might even be accused of not paying on purpose (which doesn't make sense, but it's happened).  After that, they can do what they want with the money and you have nothing else to do with it.

[Audrey Quest]

She handed it to me and I noticed immediately that it was completely white and creamy, not chocolatey like it usually is.   Surprised, I commented "Oh it looks quite creamy! Oh well that's fine" and turned to walk away.

That's sort of PA, and it would put a lot of people on the defensive.

It's not a social transaction.  The person behind the counter is there to get it right, not to have a thin skin when he/she gets it wrong and someone makes a mild comment or even a full blown complaint.

[Shoo]

She handed it to me and I noticed immediately that it was completely white and creamy, not chocolatey like it usually is.   Surprised, I commented "Oh it looks quite creamy! Oh well that's fine" and turned to walk away.

That's sort of PA, and it would put a lot of people on the defensive.

It's not a social transaction.  The person behind the counter is there to get it right, not to have a thin skin when he/she gets it wrong and someone makes a mild comment or even a full blown complaint.

I agree. When you pay for something (a thing and/or a service) and they get it wrong, they don't get to be snippy when you very politely point it out, as the OP did.  It wasn't passive aggressive, it was a polite comment.

[EMuir]

I too have a moral code, once when I was unloading in my car I found something in my cart that had been overlooked and I took it back in and paid for it.  It was about $10.

That being said, this situation is more of a gift than something overlooked.  The manager took your order and didn't charge you.  It may have been his choice because you were waiting so long, who knows.

If you had noticed at the time, it would have been moral to offer payment.

Now that a day has passed, I think that bringing it up would confuse the store.  Also, since it sounds like the food was neither rung in or paid for, their till would have balanced.  If you send them money now, there's a good chance whoever gets it will pocket it for themselves. And they're only actually out the actual cost of the ingredients, say $1.50?

At that dollar amount, I think it wouldn't be worth the hassle.

[Ambrosia Hino]

Because the manager is the one that took your order, he might have decided to comp you because of the rude wait you had. Or he might've forgotten in the mad-house.  Either way, you got awful service and an awful drink that should've been remade, had you had the chance to notice before leaving. Going by the whole experience you described, I simply wouldn't go back and would look on it as a comped meal for bad service.

And yes, if it had only been 1-2 of the problems mentioned, I would mention it when I next returned, directly to the owner/manager. But I really wouldn't stress over $5. I have had my favorite butcher shop mess up when running my debit card and only charge me $3 and change for over $30 worth of meat - I paid the difference my next visit (and got a bonus of free extra steak added to my cart by the owner as a thank you for honesty). I didn't go out of my way to go back early, and if I had a good reason for not wanting to go back, I would shrug it off as some kind of compensation for whatever my bad experience was.