Come to my floor-sanding party!

[Winterlight]

Terrible advice.

1. An invitation is not a summons.
2. They only contact you when they want your labor.
3. You don't want to go.

"Sorry we can't make it. Bye!"

[Tea Drinker]

I don't think there are a lot of recreational floor-sanders.

I sometimes accept invitations to go to a friend's house and help with their gardening. But I also have been known to ask people if they would like me to come do stuff in their garden, since I have no land of my own to garden in, and I find the work satisfying. Whichever person suggests it, it's part-social: a chance to talk with a friend for a couple of hours, and while I'm there that shrub may as well go into the ground.

Also, and relevantly, these are people I enjoy spending time with in other contexts: the relationship isn't limited to physical labor.

[CaffeineKatie]

I think I've posted a comment or two about this topic before.  I do enjoy home repair/remodeling projects, and I have been happy to share my skills with some of my friends.  HOWEVER, I agree you shouldn't feel pressured to do something you don't want to, especially if this is a person (relative or not) who isn't willing to reciprocate.  I have one friend in particular who is always suggesting a painting/plumbing/tiling/gutter cleaning "party" at her house; she NEVER is willing to help anyone with similar projects, and considers 1 or 2 cans of cheap beer to be adequate pay for 6+ hours of hard sweaty work/use of pickup trucks and gas for hauling her things around.  I can't understand why anyone would feel obligated in a case like this or the OP.

[LilacRosey]

I don't think that sounds fun to me at all but I had a hard time reading.I dont think I'd have a party like this personally., lilacrosey

[Lady Snowdon]

I don't think there's anything wrong with labor parties.  I've thrown them, and I've attended them.  The problem here is that this is the only way the LW ever hears from their cousin.  I'm not willing to help people with their manual labor if I never hear from them otherwise, and they've never offered to help me out with anything I need help with. 

Plus, as other PP's have pointed out, floor sanding is very dangerous, both in terms of possible damage and in terms of the dust/debris kicked up.  I most certainly would not want to be held responsible for damaging someone's flooring!

[blarg314]

With labour parties, I find that there needs to be some sort of reciprocation for them to come across as something other than a blatant grab for free labour.

Among friends  or family who regularly socialize and do things for each other, it can work, because it balances out. It can also work for people who have mutually tradable skills - my brother's done this for home renovations, where he has a friend who has X specialized skill and equipment come over and do something, and he does the same for them at some point.

It also works in the case where someone genuinely loves doing the work, and is happy to do it for fun (this is a lot rarer than the person *holding* the party tends to assume), or if someone is interested in getting training in a specific skill.

Even among friends who socialize regularly, if you're constantly being asked to do labour for a set of friends, and they're the only ones in that social set who recruit their friends for painting/sanding/moving/yard work, it still gets old fast.

[jedikaiti]

Exactly! Or even a painting party, where people come help with painting in exchange for food & drinks. I've seen that done, and I have no problem with it.

[Virg]

BeagleMommy wrote:

"Violinp, may I please steal "having the wombat waxed"?  Love it!"

That phrase isn't something new, it's in the Urban Dictionary, so use it with caution.  As to what it means, I can't say that in polite company.

Virg

[violinp]

BeagleMommy wrote:

"Violinp, may I please steal "having the wombat waxed"?  Love it!"

That phrase isn't something new, it's in the Urban Dictionary, so use it with caution.  As to what it means, I can't say that in polite company.

Virg

It was meant in a literal way in our family - that is, referring to using wax to wax an animal. We did not mean anything obscene by it.

[Giraffe, Esq]

BeagleMommy wrote:

"Violinp, may I please steal "having the wombat waxed"?  Love it!"

That phrase isn't something new, it's in the Urban Dictionary, so use it with caution.  As to what it means, I can't say that in polite company.

Virg

It was meant in a literal way in our family - that is, referring to using wax to wax an animal. We did not mean anything obscene by it.

Also, because I don't learn from my past mistakes, I looked it up.

And on Urban Dictionary, the definition is the same as Violinp's -- to apply wax to a pet wombat (so it can have cool hair like Fonzie).

[Twik]

BeagleMommy wrote:

"Violinp, may I please steal "having the wombat waxed"?  Love it!"

That phrase isn't something new, it's in the Urban Dictionary, so use it with caution.  As to what it means, I can't say that in polite company.

Virg

Yes, but just about everything is in Urban Dictionary. If we avoided all words that could have risque meanings, we'd be grunting and pointing.

Sometimes I think we're living in a live-action, never-ending production of Whose Line Is It Anyway's "If You Know What I Mean" sketch.

[Virg]

Twik wrote:

"Yes, but just about everything is in Urban Dictionary. If we avoided all words that could have risque meanings, we'd be grunting and pointing."

The joke is in the fact that the Urban Dictionary defines "waxing the wombat" as using (hair) wax on a wombat, and my comment was a reverse psychology ploy to get people to check it out and get the full effect of the humor.  It's one of the funnier "single entendres" that I've encountered.

Virg

[PoisonIvy]

Having recently sanded the floors myself in my very first home, I can honestly say that the only way I would ever consider inviting people over to a floor-sanding "party" is if I wanted to do the following:

- deafen them (those machines are the most frighteningly loud things I'd ever heard.  I'm surprised the building is still standing.)
- suffocate them (sawdust in every orifice, goggles and face mask or not)
- ensure they never, ever spoke to me again

[RooRoo]

...only way I would ever consider inviting people over to a floor-sanding "party" is if I wanted to do the following:

- deafen them (those machines are the most frighteningly loud things I'd ever heard.  I'm surprised the building is still standing.)
- suffocate them (sawdust in every orifice, goggles and face mask or not)
- ensure they never, ever spoke to me again

  Ooh, now I can make a list for when we sand our floors! (They need it.)

[LadyClaire]

I dislike labor parties when the people throwing them never return the favor. Actually, I dislike all "hey can you come do this" requests when the person never reciprocates in any way.

DH has been the work horse of the family for years. His siblings and parents grab every day off he has and every vacation where he's at home with "Hey can you come cut down my tree/haul things in your truck/till my lawn/fix my gutters/lay flooring" requests. He is forever saying "Oh, it's fine, I'm doing them a favor and one day they'll do us a favor, too!"

We have been together for 9 years. So far the only favor any of his family has done for us is his dad coming over and helping him fix two shingles on our roof. Every household chore, every project that needs doing, every time we have moved or painted something or needed something hauled, it has been us doing it, with the occasional help from a friend. Never his family. I told him last time that I'm still waiting to see some of those favors he keeps telling me about come through.

It's getting to the point that his co-workers are starting to take advantage of his good nature/want to help attitude, too. It's frustrating because he has so much faith that people will help him out in some way or another one day, and yet it never happens.