Waitress Flirts w/ Date

[Danika]

I had something similar happen once when I was at lunch with a male friend. I *insisted* on picking up our tab. I think she expected him to pay. I think I left her a 5% tip. In retrospect, that was too much.

Another time, I was 9 months pregnant. DH and I were in our early 30s and the waitress was about 17. She was falling all over herself stammering flirting with my DH. I don't think she had an angle. I think she was genuinely attracted to him. I went to the bathroom. When I returned, my DH told me that she had asked him where I'd gone and he jokingly said "Oh, she left me." And then he said the waitress ramped up the flirtation even more! Then, she saw me return to the table, blushed, got quiet and disappeared. Ugh.

[kareng57]

I think the waitress was terribly deficient, period - it doesn't really matter whether anyone analyzes as to whether or not she was flirting.

I do agree completely with notifying the manager.  Late Dh and I were deficient in not doing this about 15 years ago.  We'd recently dropped off our kids at a week-long summer camp (!!!) and went to a nearby pub to have lunch to celebrate.  And it was a later lunch - around 1:30 on a Sunday - the place was not packed.  She delivered drinks about 20 minutes after we'd ordered, and didn't ask whether we wanted food.  We had to ask, then order.  We had to flag her down when we wanted refills, and again for the final bill.

At the end, Dh wrote on the bill "this is the worst service we have ever had at a neighbourhood pub in BC".  We left no tip, but paid the bill.  Later on, I realized it probably would have been better to speak to the manager.  Not to get a comp on the food (it was actually quite good) but to let him/her know that this wait-person's service was definitely sub-par.

[Mental Magpie]

A friend once told me about a first date she went on where the waitress similarly ignored her while doting on her date.  At the end of the meal when she brought the check, her date asked the waitress point blank "If you were my beautiful date, who you treated so poorly tonight, what would you leave as a tip for this level of service?"  The waitress apparently sort of stammered a bit before scurrying off.  My friend isn't sure what he tipped (he was treating), but suspects it wasn't much.

He was kind of a weird dude, and that was probably a rude thing to say, but I suppose at least the woman knew exactly why she had no one to blame but herself for the lousy tip.

He may have been weird otherwise, but I think he handled it perfectly!  Had I been on that date with him (barring other bad things) that would have secured the second date!

[JonGirl]

I hope you and/or your friend didn't leave her a 20% tip.

I agree.

The only tip EvilJonGirl would leave is "Do your job and stop trying to pick up my man!" 

[LifeOnPluto]

Seriously, I don't know why some waitresses behave like this. Do they really think that the man is going to dump his wife/girlfriend/date  right there at the table, sweep the waitress off her feet, and run off with her into the sunset?

I agree that I'd only tip the bare minimum (if at all).

[Fleur]

I would have informed the manager, and left no tip. I used to work as a waitress, and I would never, ever have behaved that way. Once or twice I had male customers try to flirt with me, but never the other way around.  That sort of thing is just rude and unprofessional.

[Hmmmmm]

When dating, this happened twice with my DH.   The first was actually a girl he knew from college but hadn't dated. She actually slipped him her number and a note.  The second time was a stranger and I was highly amused watching all the ways she found to touch his shoulder and place her assets in his line of sight. 

[Morticia]

It was a Ruby Tuesdays on a family road trip. The waitress flirted with DH like a maniac.  She did everything but sit in his lap, and at one point we thought she was going to. DS and I were largely ignored, and DH had to make her give us service. At the end, she smiled so sweetly as she placed the bill in front of DH. It should be noted that I pay for almost everything on family vacations, so there was never a question of DH paying. Imagine her look of horror as I took the bill so it could be paid.  You might think I tipped her too much, but I actually felt uncomfortable only tipping 15% on the pre-tax amount. I hate doing that, but any more would have sent the wrong message.

[Fleur]

It was a Ruby Tuesdays on a family road trip. The waitress flirted with DH like a maniac.  She did everything but sit in his lap, and at one point we thought she was going to. DS and I were largely ignored, and DH had to make her give us service. At the end, she smiled so sweetly as she placed the bill in front of DH. It should be noted that I pay for almost everything on family vacations, so there was never a question of DH paying. Imagine her look of horror as I took the bill so it could be paid.  You might think I tipped her too much, but I actually felt uncomfortable only tipping 15% on the pre-tax amount. I hate doing that, but any more would have sent the wrong message.

Your choice, of course, but I wouldn't have tipped at all. It would have taught her a clearly much needed lesson.

[Auntie Mame]

I have nothing against a waitress flirting a little bit with my BF (he's awesome, of course you would want to flirt with him  ) but never to the point where they completely ignore me.  That is unacceptable.  I would have quietly alerted the management about the experience.

[Thipu1]

We've had something like that happen on a flight from Florida to NYC. 

I like to think of myself as a good passenger.  I speak quietly, read the safety card and obey the rules.  On this particular flight, one attendant decided that I was the 'Passenger From Hell'.  The flight was only about two hours but she was on my neck the entire time.

I was warned to be careful because my roll-aboard could injure other passengers.  It was smaller than the approved limit for the flight.  I was also told that I didn't stow it properly in the overhead bin when Mr. Thipu was the one who stowed it.  She smiled at him and glared at me. 

I was told several times that my purse was not properly stowed under the seat ahead of me. It was properly stowed. 

I was told in rather stern terms that I MUST read the safety card and closely listen to the demonstration. I always do that. 

Every time the 'Fasten seat belt' light came on, she was over to make sure that my belt was properly fastened.  She even reached over Mr. Thipu to 'make sure'.  She smiled at him and glared at me. 

She had the same problem with my tray.  Even though it was obvious that my tray was up, she had to reach over Mr. Thipu to 'make sure' I had secured it properly. Again, she smiled at him and glared at me.

Drinks were served.  We aren't talking about alcohol.  We're asking for juice, soda and coffee or tea.  Mr. Thipu got his.  My order was delayed. 'I have to go back and get more.  I'll be back soon'.  She wasn't.  We wound up sharing his drink.

On the way out of the plane, she smiled at Mr. Thipu and looked at me as if Iwasn something she found on the bottom of her shoe.   
 

   
   

Every time the   

[etiquetteE]

A waitperson should be waiting on ALL people on the table equally.  I would have left a very very small tip and asked the waitress to send the manager over.

[Sharnita]

A waitperson should be waiting on ALL people on the table equally.  I would have left a very very small tip and asked the waitress to send the manager over.

Oh, I agree.  I also think all tables should get equal quality service but in reality I have noticed that when I am out by myself I frequently get the sort end of the stick compared to tables more people.

[Chickadee]

Reading Morticia's post reminded me of a time when a waitress did sit on my DH's lap. We were not married at the time, but it was very obvious we were a couple.

The place we were in was one step away from being a dive, but we had heard the oysters and grouper were delicious (and they were!) so we stopped in for lunch. When the waitress sashayed over to take our order she could not take her eyes off DH. When he ordered our drinks he ordered a beer for me, and then she started to leave before he could give her is order. He said, "hey wait, I'm not done", she responded with, "oh, I thought the beer was for you".   Apparently she felt I wasn't thirsty. 

Then when she came back with the drinks, she sat on my husband's lap to take our orders! My DH can handle himself gracefully in almost any situation, but he was so surprised that his jaw dropped open. At that point I sweetly told her that if she didn't remove herself from DH's lap that I would do it for her, and she wouldn't like my method. She stood up quite hastily.

DH did leave a tip, but it was only 5%.

[GreenEyedHawk]

One afternoon I was out with my friend Geoff for lunch.  While we aren't and have never been a couple, we've been friends for  16 years and are occasionally (and understandably) mistaken for one.

When the waiter came and took our order, I ordered a steak and Geoff ordered fish...I think it was basa or salmon. My order came with an appetizer of soup, Geoff's came with a salad.  When the waiter brought our appetizers, he automatically handed me the salad and the soup to Geoff.  I said something like, "Sorry, the soup's for me, the salad is his."  The waiter gave a surprised, "Oh!" and switched our food.  I decided to interpret his surprised sound as "I can 't believe I got their orders mixed up, that never happens!" as opposed to "Well the woman at the table MUST be the one with the salad, right?"

Then our main course came and wouldn't you know, the waiter tried to hand me the fish, and Geoff my steak.  This time Geoff was the one who spoke up and he said something like, "The fish is mine; she ordered the steak."  Again, the waiter seemed genuinely shocked that I would have ordered the more...manly?...soup, steak and baked potato.  The waiter cleared up any confusion quite decisively when he said, "Sorry, it's just that women usually order fish and salads, not men."

WHAT??

What does my gender have to do with the food I like?  Sheesh.