Author Topic: Flower girl resumes update pg. 5  (Read 13729 times)

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Aoife

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #30 on: October 21, 2012, 12:12:43 PM »
It sounds like the class rumour mill has gone into overdrive, I wonder if one of the parents got fed up of the competitiveness and is now sitting back thinking "wow! I didn't think they'd swallow that!"

I would suggest she replies to the emails and says something like  "I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding, no children from my class will be participating in my wedding, it simply wouldn't be fair to the others." then ignore any follow up emails.

It's really very unfair of the parents to put the teacher in the position of having to refuse, not to mention getting their own children's hopes up.

MummySweet

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #31 on: October 21, 2012, 12:46:25 PM »
I think Karen should respond to the requests with something like, "Thank you for the interest, but it would be inappropriate and unprofessional of me to select students to participate in my wedding." Because it's true.

Those parents have some nerve.

This, or "It would be unfair to pick one student when I care about them all, so I will not be having any students in my wedding party because I don't want any hurt feelings."

When I was in the third grade (eight years old) my teacher was a close family friend.  She had actually dated my oldest brother when they were in high school, before I was born.   She got engaged during the summer before the school year started and was married the weekend that the Easter holidays began.  My mother instructed me that I was not to ask about being a flower girl under any circumstances, and I didn't; but several of my female classmates did ask.  She was very sweet to them and explained that it wouldn't be fair when there were so many little girls that she cared so much about. 

A few weeks before the wedding my my teacher took my mother and me to lunch at the fanciest restaurant that I had ever seen in my eight years.   She gave me a little heart shaped pendant necklace and told me that she wished she could have had me be her flower girl, but couldn't because the other kids might not understand.  I did go to the wedding with my family and the bride made sure I had a special bit of cake to put under my pillow that night.   

Even though we had a previous relationship, I can see the argument that even this much extra attention could have been considered unprofessional of my teacher.  I can't imagine how a parent could think it was appropriate to ask to be part of a teacher's personal life like that, or think that such a request/suggestion would be appreciated.  If I were the OP's friend, I think I would be insulted that my student's parents think that I would even consider these "resumes".

Fleur

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #32 on: October 21, 2012, 12:48:23 PM »
I think Karen should respond to the requests with something like, "Thank you for the interest, but it would be inappropriate and unprofessional of me to select students to participate in my wedding." Because it's true.

Those parents have some nerve.

This, or "It would be unfair to pick one student when I care about them all, so I will not be having any students in my wedding party because I don't want any hurt feelings."

When I was in the third grade (eight years old) my teacher was a close family friend.  She had actually dated my oldest brother when they were in high school, before I was born.   She got engaged during the summer before the school year started and was married the weekend that the Easter holidays began.  My mother instructed me that I was not to ask about being a flower girl under any circumstances, and I didn't; but several of my female classmates did ask.  She was very sweet to them and explained that it wouldn't be fair when there were so many little girls that she cared so much about. 

A few weeks before the wedding my my teacher took my mother and me to lunch at the fanciest restaurant that I had ever seen in my eight years.   She gave me a little heart shaped pendant necklace and told me that she wished she could have had me be her flower girl, but couldn't because the other kids might not understand.  I did go to the wedding with my family and the bride made sure I had a special bit of cake to put under my pillow that night.   

Even though we had a previous relationship, I can see the argument that even this much extra attention could have been considered unprofessional of my teacher.  I can't imagine how a parent could think it was appropriate to ask to be part of a teacher's personal life like that, or think that such a request/suggestion would be appreciated.  If I were the OP's friend, I think I would be insulted that my student's parents think that I would even consider these "resumes".

What a lovely story! And I agree, I am just staggered at the brazen rudeness of these parents. Whatever next!

sparksals

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #33 on: October 21, 2012, 02:02:12 PM »
Whoa!  In all the years I have been here, I have seen some pretty crazy stuff, but my GAST is FLABBERED!  I thought I saw everything.  Proves I haven't.  WOW!  They have nerve.

Having said that, if there were so many resumes received, I wonder if it is a normal thing in their circle or at the private school.  Maybe the bride can ask her principal what to do and if this has happened before.  I don't think she should handle this on her own.  I fear a parent will be unhappy and go to the admin and cause problems for her job. 


Texas Mom

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #34 on: October 21, 2012, 04:51:44 PM »
the bride can ask her principal what to do and if this has happened before.  I don't think she should handle this on her own.  I fear a parent will be unhappy and go to the admin and cause problems for her job.

The principal/headmaster should be notified of the resume business, so he/she can deal with it expediently in a politically astute manner.

MrTango

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #35 on: October 21, 2012, 05:16:55 PM »
the bride can ask her principal what to do and if this has happened before.  I don't think she should handle this on her own.  I fear a parent will be unhappy and go to the admin and cause problems for her job.

The principal/headmaster should be notified of the resume business, so he/she can deal with it expediently in a politically astute manner.

Agreed.  Perhaps the Principal will send a letter to each parent who submitted a resume: "While we would like to thank you for your interest in this position, we have decided to move forward with candidates whose experience and skills are a closer match for the qualifications for the Flower Girl position."  >:D

PastryGoddess

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #36 on: October 21, 2012, 06:16:38 PM »
the bride can ask her principal what to do and if this has happened before.  I don't think she should handle this on her own.  I fear a parent will be unhappy and go to the admin and cause problems for her job.

The principal/headmaster should be notified of the resume business, so he/she can deal with it expediently in a politically astute manner.

Agreed.  Perhaps the Principal will send a letter to each parent who submitted a resume: "While we would like to thank you for your interest in this position, we have decided to move forward with candidates whose experience and skills are a closer match for the qualifications for the Flower Girl position."  >:D

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Sharnita

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #37 on: October 21, 2012, 06:28:45 PM »
This makes me think of the episode of The Office where Dwight thinks he is applying for the CIA.  Notify all prospective candidates and let them know that since the position will require them (and their parents) to keep the details of the wedding secret the bride must know she can trust them - so they must disclose every secret they (and their parents) have ever kept.  See what kind of response she gets.

aiki

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #38 on: October 21, 2012, 06:50:35 PM »
Awww, come on! Interview. Choose one.

But emphasize that the position is as an intern, not paid and not permanent.

Nah, think bigger. Next up on TV - "Karen's Next Top Flowergirl!"
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TootsNYC

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #39 on: October 21, 2012, 06:54:05 PM »
I've heard of moms pressuring relatives, but pressuring the TEACHER?

Where do they get the assumption that Karen plans to have a student from her school as a flower girl? It's not like they're personal friends of hers!

And yeah, I vote for asking the principal to directly address this.
If I were the principal, I'd be contacting each of those parents directly to say, "This is highly inappropriate for you to have done--it's tremendously unfair to put that sort of pressure on one of our teachers. I trust this will not happen again."

mmswm

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #40 on: October 21, 2012, 07:26:00 PM »
Wow.  I thought I'd heard everything.  I was wrong. 

On a slight side note, what was the thread about butterfly poop?  I must have missed that one.

Sapphire23

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #41 on: October 21, 2012, 07:29:12 PM »
Wow.  I thought I'd heard everything.  I was wrong. 

On a slight side note, what was the thread about butterfly poop?  I must have missed that one.

Here's the butterfly thread:  http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=122136.0
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MummyPumpkin83

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #42 on: October 21, 2012, 09:58:48 PM »
Kind of off topic...
 I remember reading a baby sitters club little sister book where the main character (who was Karen I think) was asked to be the bridesmaid for her second grade teacher. Maybe the mums got the idea from there?
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Jules1980

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #43 on: October 21, 2012, 10:20:57 PM »
I thought that was a Ramona Quimby book, but its been forever since I read them. 

Yvaine

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Re: Flower girl resumes
« Reply #44 on: October 21, 2012, 10:51:17 PM »
There was another book called "Snaggle Doodles" where the main character wanted to be her teacher's flower girl. I don't think she got to be, though.