Last May I posted this:http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=116128.0
In a nutshell, I was sick of being the one to chauffeur my Grandfather back and forth from family functions when any one of my siblings, cousins or aunt/uncles could help share the burden.
Since then I wasn't approached to pick up Grandpa and the one time someone started asking about it we couldn't because we had some stuff in the backseat.
A quick refresher + some BG:
I live an hour away from most of my family. DH and I own one car. Sister2 lives very close to me with her BF. They have a car but prefer catching rides/public transportation for the long ride to hometown due to the crazy price of gasoline and the fact that they are both students. DH and I always offer them a ride.
Aunt, mom's sister is a piece of work. Mom invites her, but she never accepts. She only comes to Uncle's house. Last year Sister1 hosted a birthday party for her son, a very small affair, and didn't invite Aunt because they're not close. Aunt took this very hard, and gave Mom a thorough guilt trip. Yes, Aunt is a drama llama.
Two weeks ago Uncle hosted a family event to honor Grandpa's sister, Great Aunt, who was visiting from another country. I was asked by my mother to pick GA up from her daughter's house. Daughter's house is 30 minutes away from mine, a detour that also requires taking a toll road. Aunt lives two minutes away from GA's daughter, but when I asked my mom about it she said she didn't know if Aunt was coming, and due to things apparently I can't understand did not want to ask her.
Fine. A regular car with four adults (Sister2 and BF joined us) made a special detour to pick up GA. When we arrived we saw that Aunt and her husband did come, alone. It was assumed that we would also take GA back until I nicely asked Mom if Aunt was there, and they were only two people in the car why couldn't she do it? So Aunt did the return journey.
This week my sister is hosting her son's birthday. Mom told her to invite GA under the assumption she would not come, and Aunt because of all the drama she caused last year.
Today my sister called me, started by apologizing and then asked me if we could pick GA up again (apparently Mom spoke to her and she was very excited about coming). I didn't handle it well...
I know the smart thing to do was to say that we have other plans before/after the event, or that it just won't be possible this time.
Instead, I asked her if we were also bringing Sister2 and BF. I reminded her that we did it last time, and how ridiculous it was for 4 adults to make that entire detour when Aunt came from the same direction as well. I asked her what about Aunt.
Sister1 explained that Aunt hasn't RSVP'd, and usually if she is asked about giving Grandpa a ride, she claims that's the only reason she was invited.
Sister1 apparently felt bad enough about asking me, she started saying that she had nobody else to ask but eventually said she'll try to think of someone else.
I said if she found no one else to do it I'll help out but I'm getting the feeling I'll be the taxi service again.
Please, eHell - help me polish up that spine I started cultivating last time. Can I do anything in the current situation?
Also - would it be rude to schedule a brunch with friends earlier in the day now that I know I may need to leave earlier than planned? It was something I was planning on doing anyway before I got my sister's phone call. Does it matter if I'm hosting the brunch or just meeting up somewhere?