Just thought I'd update. I've had a call from sister to tell me that as Nephew is going to be in town next weekend that they thought it would be nice if they all came over for a visit because he hasn't seen us for a while (5 years). After I'd picked myself up off the floor and recovered I politely asked if the visit had anything to do with her prior request for money for him. She got all flustered and a bit impatient, and said "of course not, its just been such a while since you've seen him. (this is his choice, he never comes home for Christmas and avoids most family gatherings). Soooo...I took a deep breath and said "Well, that would be nice, but I should let you know that we have approached a financial planner (not yet) and it looks like most of our cash will be tied up so its unlikely there will be any left over. In any case we've thought about it and don't feel inclined to give money to Nephew, who we feel has ample resources of his own, but chooses to spend as he wishes, so we are going to do the same"!!! Can't believe I said that. Anyway there was silence at the other end of the phone and then sister said rather huffily, "well if you feel like that I doubt he'll come over". So I said he was welcome anytime but the subject of what we do with our money is not up for discussion. She quickly got off the phone. My husband heard every word and said he was proud of me!