If You're That Unhappy - Go Somewhere Else

[Sharnita]

While it might not seem worth it to give in to her, other customers likely noticed the act of compassion and will make it a point to give the establishment their business in the future because of it.

If I saw a restaurant manager go out of his way to give special treatment to someone who was being loud and disruptive and having a bad effect on all the people around her, if it had any effect at all on my future actions it would be to make me avoid the bakery.

"Oh, yeah, that's the place where the woman ruined my experience and got free food because of it. No thanks."

I have been a caretaker to an elderly person with Alzheimer's. Perhaps that is what makes the difference.

[JenJay]

I don't think it has anything to do with the woman's health or age. Some people are only happy when they are unhappy and they go through life determined to be unhappy and to make those around them unhappy.  These people are best avoided.

Pod! Unfortunately by giving the woman her money back the chain is both rewarding her bad behavior and giving her an incentive to comeback and repeat the same poor behavior.

My thoughts exactly! I thought OP was going to say he refunded her money and said something like "I'm sorry you're so displeased with us. I've refunded your money so you can find a new cafe that better suits your expectations." 

[Twik]

While it might not seem worth it to give in to her, other customers likely noticed the act of compassion and will make it a point to give the establishment their business in the future because of it.

If I saw a restaurant manager go out of his way to give special treatment to someone who was being loud and disruptive and having a bad effect on all the people around her, if it had any effect at all on my future actions it would be to make me avoid the bakery.

"Oh, yeah, that's the place where the woman ruined my experience and got free food because of it. No thanks."

I have been a caretaker to an elderly person with Alzheimer's. Perhaps that is what makes the difference.

Would you, then, have been content to have ruined other patrons' enjoyment, and be given free food for it?

If this was a case of someone with dementia, the non-afflicted person should have refuse, at a bare minimum of decency, to be given food for free.

[Sharnita]

While it might not seem worth it to give in to her, other customers likely noticed the act of compassion and will make it a point to give the establishment their business in the future because of it.

If I saw a restaurant manager go out of his way to give special treatment to someone who was being loud and disruptive and having a bad effect on all the people around her, if it had any effect at all on my future actions it would be to make me avoid the bakery.

"Oh, yeah, that's the place where the woman ruined my experience and got free food because of it. No thanks."

I have been a caretaker to an elderly person with Alzheimer's. Perhaps that is what makes the difference.

Would you, then, have been content to have ruined other patrons' enjoyment, and be given free food for it?

If this was a case of someone with dementia, the non-afflicted person should have refuse, at a bare minimum of decency, to be given food for free.

I do agree that I probably would have tried to get her out of there - but then I don't know if that would have triggered something else. And refusing could also have triggered a bigger tantrum.  I was fortunate enough to have enough relative that there were two of us when traveling in public so we had it a bit easier but if this was say the only person in this woman's life it isn't like she could slip away and give the money back.  Refusing the money in front of her might have set her off even more.

There is no perfect way to handle behavioral issues from somebody irrational melting down in public - especially when that somebody is a full grown adult who can't easily be picked up and removed.  If it is your three year old and the worst happens you grit your teeth, sweep them off their feet, and haul them out.  Doing that with somebody with a three year old mind but an adult body - more complicated.  And some might say the answer is to not take them in public but since they can be physically healthy while the diesease works on their mind for 2 decades that seems a bit long to lock them away.

[Raintree]

I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume dementia.

I realize from my retail days that there are plenty of people out there who are just plain mean, unpleasant, and looking to pick a fight, but I've also spent enough time with elderly people to have seen a wide range of behavioural changes.

[Twik]

I do agree that I probably would have tried to get her out of there - but then I don't know if that would have triggered something else. And refusing could also have triggered a bigger tantrum.  I was fortunate enough to have enough relative that there were two of us when traveling in public so we had it a bit easier but if this was say the only person in this woman's life it isn't like she could slip away and give the money back.  Refusing the money in front of her might have set her off even more.

There is no perfect way to handle behavioral issues from somebody irrational melting down in public - especially when that somebody is a full grown adult who can't easily be picked up and removed.  If it is your three year old and the worst happens you grit your teeth, sweep them off their feet, and haul them out.  Doing that with somebody with a three year old mind but an adult body - more complicated.  And some might say the answer is to not take them in public but since they can be physically healthy while the diesease works on their mind for 2 decades that seems a bit long to lock them away.

So, the solution is to ruin someone's business, say nothing to apologize or explain, and get free food?

If she cannot be handled better than this in public, then the caretaker *does* have to reduce her exposure to the public in places where her behaviour can affect other people's livelihoods. And that is assuming that there is any dementia at all. To me, it sounds very much like someone who has learned to act up, and get freebies thrown at her as "compensation".

[CinnamonGirl]

Frankly I don't care whether she has Alzheimer's or not; someone exhibiting that kind of rude behaviour deserves to be shown the door.  If I was the manager I wouldn't tolerate anyone calling my staff stupid and disturbing other customers.