Dear Abby on Trick-or-Treating

[AylaM]

My opinion, late though it is, is that I can deal with someone moving trick-or-treating a couple of days in either direction, but I won't like it.  Any more than a few days would not have my participation.

I kind of like Halloween, but have not gotten excited about it since I still went trick-or-treating.  I hand out candy because that's what you do.  I hand out candy with a "Happy Halloween!" whenever the doorbell rings, but it isn't something I do because I think it is fun. I do it because I think it it is nice, and because I remember being a kid who went door to door and ad fun, so I want other kids to have that fun too.

If a city council decided to move Halloween a couple of days, I'd grumble but hand out candy. At that point it feels like "we want the kids to have fun, but want them to stay safe and not be too tired for school".  It would annoy me, but I'd participate.

If they moved it more than a few days (to a different week, for example) I'd probably not participate. The further away from the actual date, the less likely I am to participate.   At that point the town is intruding on me a bit too much.  I'm doing a nice thing by handing out candy and it almost feels like I'm being taken advantage of.  Insisting on trick-or-treating a week or so before or after the fact just seems like it is more about free candy than the fun because trick-or-treating is not a necessary part of Halloween.  Traditional, yes, but not necessary.  If trick or treating was cancelled because of something, some sort of party could be arranged for parents to bring kids to.  Kids can still have fun without relying on random neighbors to indulge them.

This all assumes I have not bought the candy.  If I bought the candy, I might just put it out on the porch in a bowl and make myself scarce.

[stargazer]

I am absolutely, adamantly opposed to ToT being any day other than Oct 31st.  We went out in rain, we went out in snow, and sometimes we didn't go out as children.  I do not agree with an entire community being held to the government deciding to switch the day (and sometimes for reasons that make zero sense).  If you want to celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving or whatever on your own on a totally different day - fine.  But I will only be giving out candy on Oct 31st.  (And we do not have set hours.)

[AylaM]

I am absolutely, adamantly opposed to ToT being any day other than Oct 31st.  We went out in rain, we went out in snow, and sometimes we didn't go out as children.  I do not agree with an entire community being held to the government deciding to switch the day (and sometimes for reasons that make zero sense).  If you want to celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving or whatever on your own on a totally different day - fine.  But I will only be giving out candy on Oct 31st.  (And we do not have set hours.)

Oh, I can agree that if I had my say it would only ever fall on Halloween or not at all.  As a kid when it was too cold or too dangerous, we didn't go and planned parties instead.

I'm just such a pushover that I'd hand out candy anyways if the dates were reasonably close.  And if I already have the candy I'd rather the kids eat it than have to figure out what to do with it on my own.  I hand out candy by the handfuls, so if they don't eat it I have a lot left over.

[CluelessBride]

Just as an additional perspective, last year we had a freak blizzard the weekend before Halloween.  It left downed power lines and uncleared streets - an obvious hazard for trick or treating.  So the city postponed trick or treating a few days (Nov. 3, I think).  If they hadn't postponed it, I'm sure there would have been kids out, despite the danger, simply because they didn't want to miss out.  Kids don't necessarily get danger, and not all parents are on top of their kids enough to keep them home.  I'd rather have safe kids a few days later than hear about a poor kid being electrocuted by a downed wire or getting hit by a car after slipping on ice walking in the street because the sidewalks are still obstructed with tree branches.  Also, I'd bought my candy in advance.  If the kids hadn't shown up on the 3rd to take my candy, I would have put on 20 pounds.

It is not rude to not celebrate Halloween and not hand out candy.  It's not rude to only celebrate Halloween and hand out candy on October 31.  But I do think it's rude to condemn other people for choosing to celebrate it on a different day.  Or maybe not rude, but it just seems mean-spirited.  I guess I'm just surprised by the posts that are so against towns organizing an optional event, just because they aren't organized to their preference. 

Of course my city also does fireworks on July 3! 

As an aside, this year my immediate area was relatively unaffected by hurricane Sandy. But there are some nearby towns that moved their trick or treating that also had to move it last year due to the blizzard.  So it would have been 2 years in a row with no trick or treating.  Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, life's not fair and all of that. But for cute kids who have been working on their costumes all month I personally like to be as accommodating as possible.

[Hmmmmm]

I have no issue with community choosing  to observe Halloween at a future date because of a natural disaster that impacted a large portion of their community.  I can see it as being a nice way for those who choose to participate get to forget about the bad xperience for a while and celebrate coming out of the darkness.  But I wouldn't begrudge a neighbor who chose to not participate. 

[AylaM]

I have a hard time verbalizing my feelings on this.  Rationally I know that I can opt out if I don't want to participate, but it still bugs me a little when trick-or-treating is moved.

A part of it, as I said, is that after too long it seems like the people making the decisions are valuing the free candy kids get by trick-or-treating more than the fun around the holiday.  As I said before, kids can have fun on Halloween and dress up without trick-or-treating.  A lot of parties hand out candy too, you know?

Another part, I suppose is that it seems high-handed to say "well, we decided that we don't want to do this on the 31st, so you should hand out candy out on the 3rd".  When did they ask if I was ok with that?

As silly as it sounds, if I decided to sit on my porch with a bucket of candy on November 3rd and hand out candy to kids who came by I'd have no problem with it.  Heck, I could see a neighborhood mom getting together with other moms to plan trick-or-treating between their group  and have no problem with it.  I'd think it was sweet. 

I guess it is just the assumption that I'm okay with it that bugs me.




 

[kareng57]

I am absolutely, adamantly opposed to ToT being any day other than Oct 31st.  We went out in rain, we went out in snow, and sometimes we didn't go out as children.  I do not agree with an entire community being held to the government deciding to switch the day (and sometimes for reasons that make zero sense).  If you want to celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving or whatever on your own on a totally different day - fine.  But I will only be giving out candy on Oct 31st.  (And we do not have set hours.)

If you have (or had) young children, would you therefore insist on them going out on Oct. 31, even if the town had mandated another day?  I realize that's not the case in your town, but I'm being hypothetical.

IME it was only once, nearly 50 years ago, that my town (not my present town) indicated that Halloween would be on the 30th, as the 31st was a Sunday.  It wasn't a highly-religious town either, just the general sentiment at that time.  I don't remember anyone getting terribly bent-out-of-shape about it.  But I do imagine that people would be unhappy about their doorbells being rung on both nights.

[Sharnita]

As a teacher I could definitely appreciate the benefit of not having school the day after kids had been out trick or treating.

[stargazer]

I am absolutely, adamantly opposed to ToT being any day other than Oct 31st.  We went out in rain, we went out in snow, and sometimes we didn't go out as children.  I do not agree with an entire community being held to the government deciding to switch the day (and sometimes for reasons that make zero sense).  If you want to celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving or whatever on your own on a totally different day - fine.  But I will only be giving out candy on Oct 31st.  (And we do not have set hours.)

If you have (or had) young children, would you therefore insist on them going out on Oct. 31, even if the town had mandated another day?  I realize that's not the case in your town, but I'm being hypothetical.

I do not support it and would not take them out that night.  There are enough parties and fun stuff to do without the ToT part if the town did mandate that for some reason.  Heck, my office had 200+ kids come through today so those kids are getting a ton of candy anyway and that's after the parties at school!    (What a haul - going from cube to cube for 3 floors and getting candy at each desk!)

[Sharnita]

I think that perhaps it varies a great deal from town to town and city to city. There are tons and cities that offer a lot of other options and there  are also people who live in places where that is no the case.

[Rohanna]

There are no advertised public children's hallowee'n parties on the 31st in my town- I know, because I've looked. There are private ones, and ones for the children of employees/churches/sports teams etc- but nothing that "just anyone" can go to. There was a small city event during the daytime the weekend before hallowee'n, but it was more of an arts-festival for families and didn't involve "party" type events at all.

[ettiquit]

As a teacher I could definitely appreciate the benefit of not having school the day after kids had been out trick or treating.

I bet!  I let DS have only 3 pieces of candy last night with his teachers in mind.   

[ettiquit]

I think a large part of this has to do with the community you live in, and its culture.  In all of the neighborhoods I've lived in my whole life, ToT is the day (and hours) that the city decides.  If ToT was held on the 30th, but people went out on the 31st, no one would have any candy and would wonder what the heck you're doing knocking on their door in the first place.  It's simply accepted that we don't decide when ToT is.  Usually it is on the 31st, but sometimes it has been on the 30th (for reasons unbeknownst to me). 

I wish it had been rescheduled this year, because it was bitterly cold, rainy, and windy here last night and DS and I were pretty miserable by the time we got home (the reward of candy was the only thing that kept us going  ).

[Sharnita]

As a teacher I could definitely appreciate the benefit of not having school the day after kids had been out trick or treating.

I bet!  I let DS have only 3 pieces of candy last night with his teachers in mind.   

Older kids sneak them in to school in bags, pockets, books ...

[lowspark]

Our first trick-or-treaters arrived right at 6:35 last night. The bulk of them came between about 7:30 & 8:30. Then we had to turn off our lights because we ran out of candy. Gotta buy more candy next year. We used to get very few kids but now that three houses on our block have elaborate Halloween decorations business has really picked up.

I went to bed at 9:36 (I particularly noted the time) and saw out of my front window a truck driving up to my across-the-street neighbor's decorated house and drop off several kids who apparently were successful in their quest. That seems fairly late to me and I don't know if they were the last or not.

I do know that the "porch light off" was definitely respected as we didn't have any more knocks or doorbells after the front lights were turned off even though several other lights were still on in the house.