This is NOT my problem! Resolution, p 5

[Miss March]

Happy Belated Birthday!

I'm glad he snapped out of it, and that you are now free to go forward on your trip without having to stress about who is looking after your child.

[MrsO]

Great update, OP. I'm glad your husband stopped acting like a spoiled kid. Enjoy your trip!

[magicdomino]

Happy belated birthday, glad you and your husband worked it out, and enjoy Peru.  I went there a couple of years ago, and loved it.  I hope you are in reasonably good shape; there are stairs.  Lots and lots and lots of stairs.   

[Seraphia]

I'm so glad it worked out - it sounds like he didn't quite realize how stressful he was making things, but when you pointed it out, he noticed.

Enjoy your trip! I have to admit, I'm a little jealous myself.  And I hope your daughter and hubby have some good daddy-daughter time while you're gone too.

[Cat-Fu]

Happy belated birthday! I'm glad your DH apologized and everything is going to work out! Have fun on your trip! (Maybe you could link us some pics when you get back?)

[Danika]

That's a good resolution. I'm sorry that your DH made your birthday stressful and sadder than it should have been. But I'm glad to hear that you were able to talk sense into him and he's not an uber-selfish jerk, but apologetic and reasonable once you got through to him.

Happy belated birthday. I hope you have a good day today and a great trip. I, too, would like to see photos and a trip recap.

[BatCity]

Hey, all, OP here.  I'm still on my trip, but as requested, I started a thread in Time for a Coffee Break with a few pictures.


http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=122448.0

[Morticia]

Thank you.

[Otterpop]

Awesome update!  Men can be such babies sometimes.  He probably panicked last minute when he realized he was going to have sole responsibility and curtailed freedom for a couple of weeks.  Good for you for standing up for yourself.  Glad he stepped up.

[theresa]

Sadly, DH has no family, so no options there.

As for the conference...if this were required for work, that would be one thing, but he goes to a ton of conferences, at least one a month.  He only wants to go to this one because it's in Las Vegas.

And while I agree that sometimes you have to do these things for work, our employers both understand that we have to make trade-offs sometimes.  In the old days, if a man had to be at a conference, there would be no question that it was the wife's job to stay home with the kids.  Nowadays, DH and I are constantly juggling our travel plans so we don't have to be gone at the same time.  Our bosses don't hold it against us, because they have to do the same thing with their spouses.

ETA: I added this reply before I read the rest of the thread, and I agree with the responses to the poster who felt I was being selfish.  Of course I'm being selfish, taking my folks up on a trip without my DH and DD.  That's causing a bit of family drama in itself. 

I will suggest that DH look into the possibility of childcare in Vegas.  I don't think he looked very hard.

I kind of feel for your husband. He is likely getting pressure from his boss and it might not look good for him to say no.   It's not the boss's problem either and many jobs do require these conferences and include going to them in evaluations for raises and promotions. Your husband is likely in a tough spot here.
  As for advice, I would consider asking if she can stay with a school friend, or even taking her out of school and sending her to his parents for the time you are gone. Also College aged kids might all be in school now, but what about asking one anyhow.  Their classes are likely around the time she'll be in school , anyhow - and even if there is a little bit of an overlay, she's 13 and could probably handle a little bit of time alone til someone got home. You might even look into getting a Grad student who would be a bit older than the average undergrad. Just a thought.

Even if spouse finds someone to watch the child, I would rather want to go on my trip knowing that my child is safe at home with her dad, not someone else. Spouse has to deal with that. I would be livid that he was making a stink about this considering it's not mandatory for work. MY spouse knows that would never fly with me. That would be out of my comfort zone.

[theresa]

His boss will understand AND he mainly wants to go because it's in Vegas AND he goes to a conference about once a month?

Nuh-uh!! No way. Forget it. The title of your thread is entirely apt.

I had some sympathy for the husband earlier in the thread, but this sounds like a choice, not a work "obligation". Personally, I'd be annoyed that he chose to go AT ALL, let alone expected me to come up with babysitting plans.

Exactly

[mbbored]

Awesome update!  Men can be such babies sometimes.  He probably panicked last minute when he realized he was going to have sole responsibility and curtailed freedom for a couple of weeks.  Good for you for standing up for yourself.  Glad he stepped up.

I don't feel this is a fair generalization. Yes, the OP's husband was less than supportive and cooperative, but that doesn't mean that all men are "babies."

[RingTailedLemur]

Awesome update!  Men can be such babies sometimes.  He probably panicked last minute when he realized he was going to have sole responsibility and curtailed freedom for a couple of weeks.  Good for you for standing up for yourself.  Glad he stepped up.

I don't feel this is a fair generalization. Yes, the OP's husband was less than supportive and cooperative, but that doesn't mean that all men are "babies."

No-one said all men are babies.

[Sheila Take a Bow]

Awesome update!  Men can be such babies sometimes.  He probably panicked last minute when he realized he was going to have sole responsibility and curtailed freedom for a couple of weeks.  Good for you for standing up for yourself.  Glad he stepped up.

I don't feel this is a fair generalization. Yes, the OP's husband was less than supportive and cooperative, but that doesn't mean that all men are "babies."

No-one said all men are babies.

No, but "men can be such babies" implies that "being a baby" is related to gender, which it's not.

[RingTailedLemur]

Awesome update!  Men can be such babies sometimes.  He probably panicked last minute when he realized he was going to have sole responsibility and curtailed freedom for a couple of weeks.  Good for you for standing up for yourself.  Glad he stepped up.

I don't feel this is a fair generalization. Yes, the OP's husband was less than supportive and cooperative, but that doesn't mean that all men are "babies."

No-one said all men are babies.

No, but "men can be such babies" implies that "being a baby" is related to gender, which it's not.

Actually, it was, "men can be such babies sometimes".