Author Topic: Nephew finally contacted me.  (Read 8325 times)

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Roe

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Nephew finally contacted me.
« on: October 23, 2012, 08:36:55 PM »
Since last Nov, when nephew blocked me from his facebook page, I've heard from Nephew less than a handful of times.  That's fine.  I've accepted the new relationship and I don't worry about it.  It hurt, at first, but I'm glad I know where I stand with him.  Once I was no longer of assistance to him, it was no longer necessary to communicate with me. 

Imagine my surprise when I received a text from him about a month ago.

Nephew's text:
"Hey auntie Roe, sorry to bother you so early.  I don't know if you talked to my mom but I hurt my knee (no, no one bothered telling me) this past week so I missed a good amount of work. I didn't want to miss because I knew if I did miss either of my 2 jobs, I would barely make rent. Well, it kills e to have to ask but I ended up missing 3 days. I also forgot that I had to pay Uncle J for the laptop payment so I am short on my rent. I am going to start getting checks a week from tomorrow so I could pay you back then.  But now, I'm broke and don't have enough money for rent tomorrow. I know I should be able to handle this situation but I don't know what else to do.  I figured I'd ask you guys. I could pay you the money back next Friday. I just don't know what else to do or who else to ask. Love you guys.

I ignored it. It was surprising (and yet wasn't) to know how well he's learned from his mother.

After ignoring it for a couple of hours, I got another text.

Nephew's text: Nevermind.  I got it taken care of.  Thanks anyway.

After a few more hours, I finally did respond:

My text: Glad everything worked out.  How did you hurt your knee?
(and a couple of texts went back and forth, detailing how he hurt his knee)

About a week after that interaction, I decided to give nephew the benefit of the doubt and I texted him.

My text: How's your knee?  How are things going?
Nephew's text: fine.

That was it. Okay, I got the message. He only sends me long texts when he needs something from me.  I haven't heard from him since and this was over 2wks ago. Thank God I didn't go against my better judgement and send him money.

I just hope I don't get anymore texts for money, esp during the holidays. 

Thanks to eHell I don't feel guilty and my spine is strong. 

1. I am assuming ignoring a text for money is ehell approved?  ;-)
2.  I know many believe it never hurts to ask and I'm sure those people will think it wasn't rude of nephew to ask for money but given that I'm 1600 miles away and nephew needed the money that same day, that added to the rudeness of the text for me. 

Thoughts? 
« Last Edit: October 23, 2012, 08:39:02 PM by Roe »

rain

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2012, 08:41:24 PM »
you're good
"oh we thank thee lord for the things we need, like the wind and the rain and the apple seed"

pearls n purls

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2012, 08:41:48 PM »
Some messages are best to be ignored.  However, if he sent you another message few hours later and you responded to that, I wouldn't consider it ignoring at all.
(Granted, I usually keep my phone in the purse, so I often don't see messages right away.)

JenJay

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2012, 08:42:07 PM »
I think it's rude to ask for something when that's the only time you can be bothered to communicate with the person you're asking. Especially if they've tried to keep in touch and you've ignored them. You didn't ask for one but I feel like offering a hug.  :-\

TootsNYC

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2012, 08:44:15 PM »
Ignoring the text was brilliant. Absolutely terrific move.

And a nice followup with the message "I care about you and am interested in your life."

Too bad he doesn't reciprocate.

And yeah, I'll join JenJay in offering you a hug.

(I have a niece who has become like that--it's a sadness.)

If he had repeated his request, I also wouldn't ignore, but I'd suggest you just text back, "sorry, can't." And nothing more.

Hopefull

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2012, 08:46:53 PM »
Roe I remember the whole saga with the family and knihave. You are strong and an inspiration! Keep up the good work. ((hugs))
I felt this thrill going up my leg!

wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2012, 09:05:20 PM »
I'm not sure how you didn't respond with

"You haven't spoken to me in nearly a year, and now you contact me for the sole purpose of getting money?"

Chickadee

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2012, 09:12:27 PM »
"2.  I know many believe it never hurts to ask and I'm sure those people will think it wasn't rude of nephew to ask for money but given that I'm 1600 miles away and nephew needed the money that same day, that added to the rudeness of the text for me."

Well, gee Roe, doncha know you just should have wired the funds to him? At your cost, of course.  ::)

No worries on your end. It's a trite phrase, but.... the apple does not fall far from the K'nnihave Tree.

Danika

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2012, 09:18:25 PM »
I think it's rude to ask for something when that's the only time you can be bothered to communicate with the person you're asking. Especially if they've tried to keep in touch and you've ignored them. You didn't ask for one but I feel like offering a hug.  :-\

POD

And I too remember reading many of the K'nnihave posts. It's sad that your nephew is like this.

ETA:
Ignoring was definitely the best response. I would ignore future requests too, unless they showed that he had learned to be different and that he was apologetic.

KenveeB

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #9 on: October 23, 2012, 09:28:08 PM »
I'm sorry to hear Nephew learned his mother's lessons instead of yours, Roe. :(  But stay strong, you're doing the right thing!

Roses

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #10 on: October 23, 2012, 09:31:15 PM »
Way to stay strong, nicely handled!

Shopaholic

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #11 on: October 24, 2012, 01:28:36 AM »
That letter astounds me. There isn't a please or a thank you in it, not even a question mark.

Good for you, OP!
At least he had the sense to look for other solutions instead of completely counting on you.

NyaChan

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #12 on: October 24, 2012, 02:08:22 AM »
You were perfectly fine to ignore it - I mean really, two hours isn't long to ignore a text at all regardless of the content.  In this case, it was the perfect response to the request.  Really, I find it interesting that just 2 hours after hitting up his supposed last resort - Bank of Roe - he had it all figured out.  Makes me think you were the easier option, rather than the only one.

sparksals

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #13 on: October 24, 2012, 03:17:01 AM »
Can you give a nutshell version of why you nephew gave you the cut direct except for when he needs money?


Iris

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Re: Nephew finally contacted me.
« Reply #14 on: October 24, 2012, 03:31:45 AM »
Sad :( If I remember correctly you put a lot of effort into trying to show Nephew a better way. What a shame.

On the other hand, kudos to you for handling things perfectly.
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.