Author Topic: Haunted House Etiquette.  (Read 5702 times)

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stargazer

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #15 on: October 24, 2012, 02:28:49 PM »

Plus, my son is a black belt in karate, and just might react without thinking and defend himself if grabbed!  You cannot tell how strong he is by looking. 

Isn't a big part of karate discipline and self control so exactly that kind of thing would not happen?

fountainsoflettuce

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #16 on: October 24, 2012, 02:44:12 PM »
Agreed.  If your son would immediately respond with karate moves, he is probably too immature for a haunted house.  How about your daughter?  Could she handle the haunted house?

MrTango

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #17 on: October 24, 2012, 02:56:30 PM »
I'm a big fan of no-contact rules at haunted houses.  Having an actor startle a patron by grabbing them is a good way for someone to be injured.

RegionMom

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #18 on: October 24, 2012, 03:13:48 PM »
My son would be with his one year younger sister, and if she was upset, he would be tense, and since he has never been in a haunted house, would not necessarily know what was real or fake.  This thread has many stories of actors in houses being hit.  you "know" it is fake, but if feels real. 

When you are in a very tense situation, on full alert, and scared, your first reaction might be to defend yourself if grabbed.
Now, with his training, he can probably control himself.  He has never been in a fight, and would rather use logic and rhetoric than force. 

My statement was that he would defend himself if grabbed, not simply startled. 

What would you do if you were grabbed? 




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Onyx_TKD

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #19 on: October 24, 2012, 03:30:36 PM »

Plus, my son is a black belt in karate, and just might react without thinking and defend himself if grabbed!  You cannot tell how strong he is by looking. 

Isn't a big part of karate discipline and self control so exactly that kind of thing would not happen?

I took Tae Kwon Do, not karate, but this was my experience:
Discipline and self control was definitely emphasized, but it was mostly about control of our actual fighting (i.e. the strikes and blocks themselves, controlled body motions, etc.) and about conflict avoidance. When sparring and practicing, our strikes were supposed to be well controlled--there was no excuse for throwing a strike so hard or fast that you couldn't control where and how it landed, and be able to "pull" a strike that went wrong (either abort or drastically reduce the force before it hit). We were also taught conflict avoidance methods and that in real-life conflicts, getting into a physical fight should be a last resort. However, once someone physically attacked us, it was considered that the physical conflict had already been started and our task shifted to doing whatever we needed to to end that conflict and get away without getting hurt--hurting our attacker was no longer a concern.

IMO, the issue with being grabbed in a haunted house is one of threat assessment, not self control. Looking at it from the outside, we know that a haunted house actor is not a threat because they are not really "attacking" the patron. However, the point of a haunted house is to scare the patrons, and the reason grabbing works to scare is that the patron's brain perceives it as a threat/attack, in an already tense and scary situation*. IME, nothing in a martial artist's "self control" training teaches them not to respond forcefully to a genuine physical attack--quite the opposite. In a real attack situation, your "control" is intended to make sure you can hurt your attacker effectively, so they don't get a chance to hurt you. The issue in a haunted house isn't in how you (general) respond to an attack, it's remembering that you aren't truly being "attacked," despite what all your instincts are telling you.

*Imagine being lightly tapped on the shoulder by a stranger in a well-lit, populated supermarket versus in a dark, deserted alley in the rough part of town--is your brain going to perceive both as equally non-threatening?

sourwolf

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #20 on: October 24, 2012, 03:32:19 PM »
Regionmom, I was more concerned by this statement:

Quote
Plus, my son is a black belt in karate, and just might react without thinking and defend himself if grabbed!  You cannot tell how strong he is by looking.  But he recently broke a car window by palm striking a mosquito in the car.  Yeah, he paid for the replacement!

To me that suggests he doesn't have the "control" necessary for a haunted house. Good for you for making sure he doesn't go to one.

Moray

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #21 on: October 24, 2012, 03:57:46 PM »
My son would be with his one year younger sister, and if she was upset, he would be tense, and since he has never been in a haunted house, would not necessarily know what was real or fake.

*snip*

Wait, he's a Jr. in High School, isn't he? You're concerned that he wouldn't know what is real or fake? If it's a haunted house, everything is fake. The spider webs are fake, the blood is fake, the fog is fake, the mutilated corpses and associated offal are fake. The chainsaws don't have blades and the zombies aren't actually flesh-crazed.

I have no problem with people not enjoying haunted houses, and I'm a big fan of people knowing enough about their own triggers to determine whether or not a given haunt is for them, but the way you describe your son makes me a little concerned.
Utah

MrTango

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #22 on: October 24, 2012, 05:26:42 PM »
My son would be with his one year younger sister, and if she was upset, he would be tense, and since he has never been in a haunted house, would not necessarily know what was real or fake.

*snip*

Wait, he's a Jr. in High School, isn't he? You're concerned that he wouldn't know what is real or fake? If it's a haunted house, everything is fake. The spider webs are fake, the blood is fake, the fog is fake, the mutilated corpses and associated offal are fake. The chainsaws don't have blades and the zombies aren't actually flesh-crazed.

I have no problem with people not enjoying haunted houses, and I'm a big fan of people knowing enough about their own triggers to determine whether or not a given haunt is for them, but the way you describe your son makes me a little concerned.

Even if the brain intelectually knows that something's fake and perfectly safe, a big part of the excitement of going to a haunted house is triggering stress reactions (which release endorphines, which feel good).  One of the natual consequences of putting yourself in such situations is that one is more prone to "fight or flight" sorts of reactions, where the brain reacts automatically to stimuli before the conscious mind has a chance to process what's really happening.

Think of what happens when you touch a hot stove.  By the time you realize that your hand hurts (and why), your arm has probably already reacted and pulled your hand back away from the burner.

Moray

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #23 on: October 24, 2012, 05:29:21 PM »
My son would be with his one year younger sister, and if she was upset, he would be tense, and since he has never been in a haunted house, would not necessarily know what was real or fake.

*snip*

Wait, he's a Jr. in High School, isn't he? You're concerned that he wouldn't know what is real or fake? If it's a haunted house, everything is fake. The spider webs are fake, the blood is fake, the fog is fake, the mutilated corpses and associated offal are fake. The chainsaws don't have blades and the zombies aren't actually flesh-crazed.

I have no problem with people not enjoying haunted houses, and I'm a big fan of people knowing enough about their own triggers to determine whether or not a given haunt is for them, but the way you describe your son makes me a little concerned.

Even if the brain intelectually knows that something's fake and perfectly safe, a big part of the excitement of going to a haunted house is triggering stress reactions (which release endorphines, which feel good).  One of the natual consequences of putting yourself in such situations is that one is more prone to "fight or flight" sorts of reactions, where the brain reacts automatically to stimuli before the conscious mind has a chance to process what's really happening.

Think of what happens when you touch a hot stove.  By the time you realize that your hand hurts (and why), your arm has probably already reacted and pulled your hand back away from the burner.

Perhaps we're talking semantics. I see "experiencing the desired 'fear' response" at a haunt as very different than "not knowing if something is fake or real."
Utah

trailgrrl

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #24 on: October 24, 2012, 05:32:27 PM »
Last year we took our son's through a haunted corn maze.  My 18 y/o son and my husband had a great time.  I was having a good time as well, but my 13 y/o son was done about half way through.  I asked him if he was sure he couldn't finish but he was well and truly freaked out and I wasn't going to push him to the  point of tears.   So I sent my husband and older son off ahead and the next cast member who leaped out at us I quietly asked for an exit for my son and myself.  There was no one else in the vicinity besides my son and me, so we weren't ruining the experience for anyone else.

The cast member dropped Character immediately and radioed for security, walked us to the to exit to meet security and  went back to her spot.


My husband still tells how awesome part I missed was ::)  That's ok, It wouldn't have been nearly as fun with a freaked out kid.

It's ok to go to a haunted house and figure out you're really not up for it, it is NEVER ok to touch the cast members.  Conversely, the cast members may touch or grab you, it's part of the experience, it is never ok to be touched inappropriately.  Even doing haunted houses as a teenager back in the stone ages, I was never groped.


RegionMom

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #25 on: October 24, 2012, 07:18:12 PM »
This is going to be my last post in this thread because some people are going to have their own ideas regardless...

My son teaches younger kids in scouts and karate.  He has helped at special needs camps.  He volunteers in our church nursery with preschoolers.  He is a model student and citizen.  Although he was picked on in grade school, he never got into a fight.  This strong and smart kid is exactly who I would want with me in a dark ally.  I would trust this kid to defend his friends and family in any sort of attack. 

Since we do not watch horror movies, and he has never been to a haunted house, I do not know how that creepy feeling at the back of your neck, and alert!  danger!  signals would work for him if he were grabbed. 

One of his black belt testing fields required him to stand in the middle of a circle and fend off 50 attacks in a row, from any angle and direction, using good form for each, and different techniques each time. 

The other poster explained it well- martial arts are usually to train for defense, and the control comes when once engaged.  Do not engage, and no problem!

So many people said "know your triggers."  I stated that I do not know if my son would be triggered or not, but he can sure land a blow!  I would not want a worker to wind up in a head-lock because they grabbed my son or his sister.  I said we most likely will not go, esp. after I watched the Ellen Show reporter and her friend freak out.

I also said that if I went, we would all hold hands.  All the better to not touch or be touched. 

And that is that. 

Happy Halloween!!

Fear is temporary...Regret is forever.

sparksals

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #26 on: October 24, 2012, 07:25:36 PM »
I don't think it is realistic to expect not to be touched in a Haunted House.   If one goes to such a venue, they take the risk of unexpected events.  As long as they are in reason and not sexual or inappropriate, a haunted house is fair game.  If one has limitations, best not to go. 

kherbert05

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #27 on: October 24, 2012, 07:35:51 PM »
I'm a big fan of no-contact rules at haunted houses.  Having an actor startle a patron by grabbing them is a good way for someone to be injured.
POD - In Elementary school we had a haunted house. It was supposed to be no contact. One of the Dads got a bloody nose when he grabbed me. It wasn't even a trigger in the usual sense. I have a tickle spot on my back. You poke it and I jump and arch my back. He got hit that spot, I jumped and and head butted him. (I have no control over it - it is a reflex like the doctor hitting your knee).
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

AylaM

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #28 on: October 24, 2012, 08:07:01 PM »
I've worked at two haunted houses.  One I was mostly behind a wall.  I would peek through windows scream a lot.  The other was a haunted woods and I ran out form under a bridge.

Both had a no touch rule.  As part of the cast I was not permitted to touch the guests.  The guides specifically told all guests that: "Our monsters will not touch you, please do not touch them"

I still got kicked hard on my first day.  If it didn't hurt so much it would have been more amusing that is was the 'tough guy' who freaked and lashed.

I was more careful not to get too close after that.  However, in my opinion, if you are unsure of your ability not to hurt people when you get spooked, you shouldn't be in the haunted houses.

SiotehCat

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Re: Haunted House Etiquette.
« Reply #29 on: October 24, 2012, 08:30:17 PM »
I thought the No Touch rule was a universal rule.

Two years ago, I took DS, then 10, to a really scary haunted house aimed for older kids and adults. He was really scared, so I kept telling him that they couldn't touch us. 30 seconds into the haunted house, and they grabbed our legs! He shouted out that I had lied to him. My bad.