General Etiquette > Family and Children

Teacher situation (long) -- UPDATES #26, #56, #141 (mini), #151, #165

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MrsCrazyPete:
POD to all of the above. I would make sure the teacher is there, and then make an appointment to speak with the principal. I would outline everything exactly as you just told us. Wow, what a headache! Is she TRYING to make the kids want to learn less?!

CharlieBraun:
Wow.

You are SO not a helicopter parent.  As the wife, daughter, sister times two of teachers, I can assure you...you are not.

The chronology you laid out is damning.  Not to your son, but to his teacher.  I usually will defend any teacher, any time, but this is not a situation in which the teacher's behaviour is defensible.

I strongly suggest that you copy and paste your chronology into a Word document and include copies of your emails  - all in print form and also in PDF.  Email the principal and ask for a personal meeting with him/her to discuss performance standards for the school and specifically for the grade level of your son.  Bring that with you.

I applaud your efforts to keep your son's attentions focused on the levels of work due and your dedication to providing the platform for his success.  I especially applaud that you are teaching him that his work is what matters and that you encourage him and direct him on time management to complete those.  (unspoken subtext: you aren't doing the work for him or whining down at the school about how unfair things are.)

This teacher is so unprofessional that it borders professional Darwinism. 

Please make an appointment with the principal, show up with the documentation, and ask how the school intends to rectify the lack of attention on the part of the teacher to her/his students, and in particular her/his active discouragement of achievement among her student body.

Many warm hugs. 

NyaChan:

--- Quote from: Acadianna on October 25, 2012, 10:22:14 PM ---
--- Quote from: Deetee on October 25, 2012, 10:05:30 PM ---Ugh. There are so many things wrong with this that I don't know where to start.
First, you are not a helicopter parent ( I do think you are more involved than appropriate but there doesn't seem to be another option)

First the grading scheme and deadlines should have clear and set from the beginning of class.

Second you should not need to do hours of extra work to get A and B. That is so unfair to the kids without the outside resources it is not even funny.

Go to the principal.  This is unreasonable, disorganized and unfair.

--- End quote ---

The above says it for me.  It sounds like your son has made all effort possible to complete the B and A layers, but has been discouraged every step of the way.  His frustration and yours are completely reasonable.

--- End quote ---

I'm in agreement.  Take in the history that you just posted her in a more concise form so that the principal can see what has happened. 

Sharnita:
Some of what you are concerned about is completely reasonable, a few points seem nitpicky.  I would drop the nitpicky points so that you can get respectful attention paid to the many valid points.

1)  It should not take that much extra effort and that many resources outside of school to get a grade above a C, especially in the 6th grade
2) If those are the standards for grading they should have been made clear from the start.
3) There should be options for kids who can't come early or stay late because of bussing.

Now the thing about her "choosing to go on the field trip" - I wouldn't mention that at all.  It doesn't really matter that she doesn't teach 7th grade.  Maybe she is the teacher who goes to the effort to arrange trips and organize so she goes.  Maybe she has connections at the place they are visiting.  Maybe her area of expertise ties in to the place they are visiting. Maybe the 7th grade teacher wanted to stay home for some private reason.  There are lots of valid reasons for her to be on that trip.  I also wouldn't bring up the thing about the stomach bug.  When she said she wanted it to be short for reasons she won't go into, I assume she means she is suffering but went go into detail about the icky symptoms.  I think you are over thinking that one.

Coley:
Thanks so much for all the replies so far. I'm grateful that you've read this HUGE post.

I have been so concerned about helicoptering. Normally, I'd want DS to work this out on his own, but this is beyond him. Now that we have experienced the amount of planning that is required to complete all of this work, I hope we have better idea of what we can anticipate with other science units this year. DS did drop the ball initially in planning his C-level work this time, so we'll expect him to improve on that for next time. He worked very hard to get himself positioned to earn an A this time, and we think he was lucky that the deadline was extended.

Yes, a kid can't earn better than a C without spending considerable time outside of class. Class time will only allow them to complete the C-level work. If the kids want a better grade, then the teacher advised that they should plan to do C-level work outside class to give themselves the time needed to do the B- and A-level work.

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