How to introduce my sister-in-law?

[SingMeAway]

I have two SIL's, my brother's wife and my husband's sister. If I was introducing one, I would say "my sister-in-law" because to me that sounds warmer and closer. I will say "Jane" or "my brother's wife" if I'm trying to distinguish between them in a conversation for example.

[bopper]

Hi, this is Mary who will be staying with us for the week. She is my sister-in-law...My brother's wife.

[TootsNYC]

I agree with calling her your sister-in-law. If you want to add more information, you can always add it. "This is my sister-in-law June. She's married to my younger brother Tommy"

I agree that "my" makes her sound like she's firmly connected to you.

But if you're introducing her to me, I might want to know HOW she is your sister-in-law. Is she your husband's sister? Or is she married to one of the brothers you have previously mentioned to me (or that I have met).

Or you could say, "this is my friend; she's married to my little brother."

[Hmmmmm]

If the person you are introducting her to knows your brother, then I think it's fine to say "This is Joe's wife Mary".  Otherwise, I introduce as my sister in law or brother in law.  If they want to clarify if it is my sibling's spouse or my spouse's sibling, they can ask. 

I've also used "Sue, this is my sister in law Mary.  She and my brother Tom are in town visiting."

[MrTango]

For me, it would depend on to whom I'm introducing my BIL.

If it's someone who knows my wife well, I would introduce him as "LadyTango's Brother, Waltz."
If it's someone who doesn't know my wife, I'd say "My BIL, Waltz."

[Oh Joy]

Personally, I prefer to be told the relationship (brother's wife versus husband's sister) if I'm not close enough to already know.  If you're concerned about warmth, that can be made clear through tone, body language, and - if appropriate - a compliment as part of the introduction.

Best wishes.

[stitchygreyanonymouse]

For me, it would depend on to whom I'm introducing my BIL.

If it's someone who knows my wife well, I would introduce him as "LadyTango's Brother, Waltz."
If it's someone who doesn't know my wife, I'd say "My BIL, Waltz."

I was going to say that I would always prefer to introduce them through their connection to me, unless I was being deliberately distant. But I think in practice, I would find myself closer to as Mr. Tango says.

I think it’s a matter of "I’m introducing this person to you and our commonality is only through me (that we know of)" vs. "I’m introducing this person with whom we share mutual acquaintances."

In the second case, however, I’d be more likely to use the wording of some PPs, though: "This is my SIL Suzie, John’s wife" or "This is my SIL Sharon, Jack’s sister" because in that case it’d be obvious who the latter were, and it’s still personal.

[Dindrane]

I've just realized, in reading the more recent posts, that for myself I mentally distinguish between saying "my brother's wife, Susan" and "Joe's wife, Susan." I wouldn't use the latter for anyone who didn't know that Joe is my brother without being told, and I wouldn't use the former for anyone who did.

So for a friend or acquaintance who has never met my brother and/or really doesn't know him, I'd introduce her as "my sister-in-law, Susan." If I felt it was necessary, I'd mention she was my brother Joe's wife after the introduction. For a friend or acquaintance who does know my brother on a first-name basis, it's possible I'd introduce her as "Joe's wife, Susan," but I might still just call her my sister-in-law. It would depend upon the context, I think, and what information I thought the person actually needed to know.

That's something else that occurs to me, now that I think of it. My pattern of introducing people is pretty habitually to say, "Jane, this is my sister-in-law, Susan. She's married to my brother Joe," and then say, "Susan, this is my friend Jane. She belongs to that book club I told you about." Basically, it's common for me to state the relationship and name in one sentence/phrase, and add some context in another (how I know them, more details about the relationship, etc.).

[White Lotus]

I am with NyaCha and would use the name first.  "This is Mary Leopoldo.  Mary is married to John's (or 'my husband's' if the person didn't know him) brother, Fred Warrant."  I also like to use last names and titles, directly or by inference, where possible.  People won't remember it all, but they will remember there is something they need to ask someone about before writing her.

[Betelnut]

I too would use "sister in law."

I wish English had a way to distinguish between a sister-in-law that is married to a sibling and a sister-in-law that is your spouse's sister.  I bet other languages have that.

[Poupoune1]

Hi Bethelnut,

I'm French-Canadian, and we also only have only one word to designate a sister-in-law, whether she is our brother's wife, or our spouse's sister: "belle-soeur". Just wanted to let you know.

[Betelnut]

Hi Bethelnut,

I'm French-Canadian, and we also only have only one word to designate a sister-in-law, whether she is our brother's wife, or our spouse's sister: "belle-soeur". Just wanted to let you know.

Hmm, interesting.  Oh!  Welcome to the forum!