General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Harping on about FB in real life

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CakeBeret:
So, my mother is on Facebook, and she's nearly driven me 'round the bend with her constant real-life harping about Facebook.

She'll frequenty ask me, "Did you see what I posted on FB?" "Did you see what Aunt Mary posted on FB?" "Did you see what Cousin George posted on FB?" "Did you see what your brother posted on FB?" If I say yes, Mom asks me to recite the general content of the posting to verify that I saw the correct one, and we continue to the next step in the process. If I say no, or say that I did see it but I don't remember what it was about, Mom whips out her phone and spends the next five minutes looking up the precise comment to determine whether or not I saw it. After all that, she wants to analyze why Aunt Mary said X, what she might be feeling, whether or not Mom ought to call her, and if I think Aunt Mary is offended at something Mom said at the family reunion eighteen months ago.

Mom and her husband (Stepfather) have separate FB accounts, but sometimes post comments from each other's accounts. So Mom will comment on a photo or status, then call me within the next fifteen minutes to ask if I've seen it. If not, she demands that I look it up immediately. Once we have confirmed that I've seen the comment, she asks me what I think about it. I don't know what to say. Thanks for taking the time to write "LOL, funny"? Your comment of "Go 49ers" was so insightful? She then tells me to guess whether it was she or Stepfather who posted the comment when I really couldn't care less.

Finally, one time my DH posted about a football game and the rivalry between the two games. Innocent, right? My mother commented with a rant about how Stepfather made her cry, and she wanted to punch him, over the rivalry. DH was distinctly uncomfortable and deleted the comment. Naturally, Mom called me to ask if I had seen the comment and what I thought about it. I said something like "DH was confused, and I didn't know what to think." She then said that Stepfather had posted the comment under her name, but she did actually want to punch him. She seemed to think that this exchange was the height of good humor.

If the background is relevant, she's toxic and we don't get along well, but I have to put up with her for now. I tend to block her from most of my statuses since I don't want to go through the whole rigamarole, but I do post lots of photos of DS for her and other family members to see.

So I'm really looking for advice on how to handle all this. It's uncomfortable and unnecessary, and drives me absolutely nuts.

MrTango:
When she asks if you've seen something, say "No."

When she demands that you look something up right then and there, say "No."

When she asks you what you think about some comment someone else made, or to speculate about someone's thought process, say "I don't know."

Also, if someone called me frequently just to ask if I'd seen X, Y, or Z on Facebook, I'd start letting their calls roll over to Voicemail.

PastryGoddess:
You can tell her that if you have a comment about FB, you'll post it.  And don't discuss.  If she asks you a question about a posting, just let her know it was nice talking to her, but you have to go.  And hang up.

This has to be very disruptive to your life...no?

Hmmmmm:
Mom, I'm not spending much time of FB anymore because I'm tired of all the inane chatter. 
Mom, I just said I'm not interested in the FB comments.  Have you seen or talked with aunt Mary lately. 

25wishes:
"Mom, I just don't have time to keep up with everything on FB and it is not that interesting to me."

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