Author Topic: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?  (Read 4597 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

hobish

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 18186
  • Release the gelfling!
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #45 on: November 01, 2012, 02:13:44 AM »

If i have the story sraight my dad was chaperoning his younger sister when my Mom and Dad met, and i think my mom would say she was going skating with Karen to hang out with my Dad. I'm not entirely sure, but they definitely all knew each other some way or another.

Currently my brother and my sister are married to siblings. Let that sink in a minute. My brother is married to a great woman. My sister is married to that great woman's younger brother. Go ahead and laugh, it's pretty funny. We're very intertwined so far as family goes. >insert inbreeding joke here< Their mother and mother in law is the same person. That's a little strange, but we work with it.

Gish's family and mine haven't all got together in a very long time, but quite a few of them have met. Gish's family has a lot of family stuff. It's kind of easy living where we do, i guess. I knew one of his brother in laws before he did.

~hobish
It's alright, man. I'm only bleeding, man. Stay hungry, stay free, and do the best you can.
~Gaslight Anthem

oz diva

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1133
  • The Classics are SO last Century
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #46 on: November 01, 2012, 05:37:08 AM »
Well if they lived on the same continent they would probably see a bit of each other. I see my siblings ILs on occasion. But my husband is Scottish. However my family members have visited his brother in CA and everyone gets on well.

Hobish I know people in that position, two sisters who married two brothers. Their daughter definately can't marry her cousin.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2012, 05:39:51 AM by oz diva »

Victoria

Luci

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5995
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #47 on: November 01, 2012, 07:33:34 AM »

Currently my brother and my sister are married to siblings. Let that sink in a minute. My brother is married to a great woman. My sister is married to that great woman's younger brother. Go ahead and laugh, it's pretty funny. We're very intertwined so far as family goes. >insert inbreeding joke here< Their mother and mother in law is the same person. That's a little strange, but we work with it.


~hobish

That is not at all strange to me. I know of lots of large families which grew up in the same community that have siblings marrying siblings. My grandmother often talked about this person and that person being double cousins.

Our society is a lot more mobile now and the population a lot bigger, so there are more to choose from and more chances to meet different prople.

Lucas's sister met her husband because Lucas and the sister were dating, so it could have easily happened to them except for some circumstances. Lucas was even a pallbearer for one of the funerals.

Sterling

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2993
    • Oh Stupid Me- Blogs about Things That Drive Me Crazy
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #48 on: November 01, 2012, 10:51:13 AM »
Well even being mobile does change things.  I found out right before the wedding that my husbands ex-wife was actually a 3rd cousin of mine that I had not met  :P  He married her in LA before moving to Arkansas and I came from another state altogether.

As for families.  His family is still in California and met my family at the wedding.  that was the extent of their contact and honestly I think that will be the only contact ever.  His family wasn't very open to talking to my family and made sure to keep their distance during all the wedding events.  My family was a bit hurt by this but after some of the things that happened they were happy to not have to deal with them.  They all flew home and he and I have little to do with them either.
93 93/93

TXJess

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 48
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #49 on: November 01, 2012, 11:43:21 AM »
My parents are highschool sweethearts, and both sides of the family have always gotten along. I think my family is on the smaller side. I have a mom, dad, 1 sister, 1 brother, 2 grandmas, 1 grandpa (other passed away a couple years ago), 1 step grandma, 2 aunts, 1 uncle, and 1 cousin. So the max we will have at a family gathering is 13 people. Everyone lives within about a 60 mile radius, so we get together about once a month for birthdays and holidays. As I got older, I realized not many people have both sides of the family get together like that.

We do have a Christmas tradition where we do things separately with each side of the family. I think it might have started like that because one side wanted to do Christmas eve, and the other wanted to do Christmas lunch, not because they didn't want to spend time together. On Christmas eve, we have dinner and open presents with my Dad's side of the family. Christmas morning after we've done gifts with my immediate family, my Mom's side of the family comes over and does breakfast and presents. Then my Dad's side of the family comes over for lunch and we do lunch with everyone. It's quite crazy.

Another thing that I've found quite funny about my family. My mom's parents got divoriced before I was born, but I never realized they were divoriced until I was probably in 4th or 5th grade. I don't know how to explain it, but I knew they weren't married and that they didn't live together, but I guess since they got along so well and there was never any tension, I never put 2 and 2 together. I talked to my mom and aunt recently about it, and they said that when I was born, my mom and aunt told my grandparents that they were not going to do the whole 2 Christmases and 2 Thanksgivings with them, and if they wanted to see the grand kids and join in the festivities, they were going to have to do it at the same time and act civil. Which they always have.

RebeccainGA

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1207
  • formerly RebeccainAR
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #50 on: November 01, 2012, 03:22:27 PM »
I was the 'cause' of a shotgun wedding. My mom's parents were friendly with my dad before he and mom dated (dad was actually really close to my mom's dad). After I was on the way, mom's parents were convinced that dad had corrupted their sweet angel. Dad's parents were convinced that mom had ruined my father's chances, and gotten pregnant just to keep him (he, and my dad's parents, were supposed to move six hours away the summer after I was born). They barely tolerated each other until I was in college. After my dad nearly died the third time (meningitis, heart attack, sepsis secondary to an operation, at different times) my dad's mom decided my mom wasn't so bad after all, and they've been cordial since then.

My MIL loves me, and I love her - we bonded over quilting, and she's taught me both the secret family recipes for applesauce cake and dumplings. My SIL has some mental health issues, never leaves her house, and tolerates me. My family loves DP, and my paternal grandmother is convinced DP has the Batphone to God, since she's a minister. However, MIL and my family have never met - I don't think they'd be best friends, there being a serious gap in their ages (MIL is 82, mom is 52). They have spoken on Facetime (I was facetiming mom, and MIL was staying with us), and were polite.

mj

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 571
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #51 on: November 01, 2012, 07:11:58 PM »
None, really.  My folks live some states a way so there is the physical distance as one reason.  Another is clashing personalities, ILs and my family are very, very different.  I think they started out on a bad foot too, my folks tried to reach out to them when we announced our engagement.  They sent them some wine as a present, ILs did not acknowledge it.

But, now the PILs will invite their other childrens in laws (not mine due to distance) to holidays which I think is getting sort of uncomfortable.  Since there are a lot of adult children that are starting families themselves, the celebrations are becoming very large and have less of a feel of a family gathering.  They are more like a social event with a lot of people you don't know too well.  DH is becoming more and more reluctant to go to these holidays. 

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7140
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #52 on: November 01, 2012, 07:41:39 PM »
Since my family is in Texas and my in-laws are in Florida, there is very little interaction. When my family travels here to visit us, we get together once with the in-laws. However, it is never harmonious, since one member of the group has hearing loss but won't wear the device, so that person yells and embarrasses the other side. Le sigh.

Mad Goat Woman

  • formerly Hamlet: The Original Emo
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 654
    • Mad Goat Woman
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #53 on: November 03, 2012, 07:12:49 AM »
My great grandmothers got along really well-- both were widowed youngish, and their children were the youngest of their families. My mum says that Grandma M and Granny P would sit out on the verandah and knit together, and were good friends.






Captains Flat, Australia

VorFemme

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12792
  • Strolls with scissors! Too tired to run today!
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #54 on: November 28, 2012, 09:18:48 AM »
Well if they lived on the same continent they would probably see a bit of each other. I see my siblings ILs on occasion. But my husband is Scottish. However my family members have visited his brother in CA and everyone gets on well.

Hobish I know people in that position, two sisters who married two brothers. Their daughter definately can't marry her cousin.

Maternal grandfather had a "double cousin" - two brothers married two sisters (both boys had the same surname).  They looked a LOT alike, too.  Mom called him "Uncle Chuck" instead of "Cousin" - I think that was a "Southern thing", though.  I don't recall seeing any of "Uncle Chuck's" kids or grandkids - so I have no idea how close the family resemblance was after the first generation......

My Dad's brothers are married to first cousins, so their kids are both first cousins (father's side) and second cousins (mother's side).  One cousin and both her kids are red headed and the other cousin and both her kids are dark haired. They did tend to see a lot more of each other and the grandparents growing up, as they lived in the same town.  Darkhaired Aunt by marriage and Younger Uncle lived on opposite sides of the block from Aunt Youngest and Uncle by Marriage with Grandparents on the other side of town, on the way to Red headed Aunt by marriage and Older Uncle.

Dad (middle brother) and Mom moved around a lot - so we went to see everyone else at the holidays and some time during the summer - but didn't get to "live" there.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2012, 09:24:17 AM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Hmmmmm

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6366
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #55 on: November 28, 2012, 09:51:34 AM »
I was thinking about this topic last weekend.  My DD and I went up to OtherCity about 4 hours away to have dinner with my sister who was in visiting from FarAwayState, her DH, her son and his new fiance who I was meeting for first time.  Fiance's parents joined us for dinner and by the end of dinner, fiance's parents had plans to come down to my city for an annual holiday party and had extended an invitation to my DH and son (neither of whom were actually present nor had been met by their potential hosts) to come go hunting in January.  Fiance's parents had also made plans to go to my Sis and her DH's for a visit in the Spring.

By the end of dinner, I think Fiance and Nephew were really hoping for a little less interaction between families.   

zyrs

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1958
  • spiffily male.
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #56 on: December 02, 2012, 05:36:41 AM »
My wife's and my families to not interact at all.

katycoo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3754
Re: How much interaction is there between the two sides of your family?
« Reply #57 on: December 19, 2012, 01:35:47 AM »
Currently my brother and my sister are married to siblings. Let that sink in a minute. My brother is married to a great woman. My sister is married to that great woman's younger brother. Go ahead and laugh, it's pretty funny. We're very intertwined so far as family goes. >insert inbreeding joke here< Their mother and mother in law is the same person. That's a little strange, but we work with it.

I can beat that.  My Husband's uncle and 2 aunts married 3 siblings.  All English.  We are Australian.  Uncle went to England, got hitched. Aunt 1 followed and married a brother of Uncle's wife.  Aunt 2 followed later and married another brother of Uncle's wife.

Sadly, Uncle and wife divorced, and Aunt 1 passed away young but the resulting 6 cousins are all genetically siblings.