Author Topic: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion  (Read 7188 times)

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alis

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Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« on: October 29, 2012, 06:08:17 PM »
My mom and sister are flying in tomorrow morning to help me out with our new baby. I'm overdue now and the baby isn't here, so I plan to do the general cooking until the baby is born (and then my mom will take over).

The thing is, my mom converted to Islam about 2 years ago and does not eat pork anymore. Would it be rude to serve bacon at the breakfast table (obviously there are plenty of dishes that are suitable as well)? I admit I forgot to ask her and right now she's on a very long haul flight and I can't contact her. She might say "it's fine" even if it bothers her because she doesn't like to impose.

And what about alcohol?

Thanks in advance.

Giggity

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2012, 06:09:16 PM »
If you are not adhering to a religion that forbids booze and pork, it's not rude to consume those things.
Words mean things.

snowdragon

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2012, 06:12:58 PM »
Your house, your diet, your choice.  If she is not comfortable eating what you serve she can eat other things, or with your permission - cook what her diet allows. I am not sure I could do a diet like halal because I don't know enough about it. If it were me, I'd be asking for lessons, "so that next time, I'll know how to manage things better for all of us."

rose red

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2012, 06:13:48 PM »
I think it's fine for you to eat/serve pork and alcohol as long as that's only part of the meal and she has plenty to eat and drink.  Just as you respect her home and what is served inside it, she should also respect yours.

alis

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2012, 06:15:56 PM »
Thanks!

I don't think she cares much about Halal, it was more of a conversion for marriage purposes rather than an actual belief, she seems to adhere to some beliefs (no pork) but not others (no mosque, scarf, etc). A bit confusing to say the least.

Okay thanks, I will have bacon and alcohol for my guests. Just bacon for me sadly.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2012, 06:20:47 PM »
You're not rude to conform to whatever your house rules are, as a host - even if those rules are less restrictive than a guest's.  You are required by etiquette to provide things your guests can eat (so no putting bacon and vodka in every dish!), but it doesn't have to be EVERYTHING.

That said, it can be a nice gesture of welcome if you do decide to make the entire meal available to someone with a more restrictive dietary palette.  Nothing says "welcome to the family" like "I know you're allergic to nuts so I put nuts in all but one of the dishes," KWIM?  Not rude as long as the one dish is an entree, but it's just nicer all-around if you can say "I know you keep kosher for passover so that inspired me to find this new chicken recipe and I really love how it turned out!"

Sterling

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2012, 06:55:51 PM »
When my best friend hosted international students who were muslim she still served pork she just also served non pork and since they had limited English she made sure they understood which was "safe" for them and which was not.  They never seemed bothered.
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nuit93

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2012, 07:02:39 PM »
I would just make sure that the bacon/alcohol/other off-limits foods are not cooked with the foods she can eat (i.e. use separate pans).

NyaChan

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2012, 08:17:09 PM »
I would just make sure to keep cooking containers, serving containers, and utensils separate.  As in, if you use the pan to cook the bacon, don't put the eggs in there after.  If you use a spatula for the bacon, use a different one for the other items.  I don't think it'll be a problem for her, as most people who are really strict would make it more obvious (and really, there is a strong precedent in the religion that when you eat with people who are your hosts, you eat without complaint.)

Luci

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2012, 10:30:02 PM »
Honestly, if it's just for a few days or even a couple of weeks, I just go along with simple restrictions like no pork and alcohol, especially for religious reasons. We never serve alcohol when some people are around, and try to limit bread and desserts when celiacs are around. With those it's not even religion.

It just makes it simpler and less fuss.

Now a vegan might be really tough; some things are really easy.

But if you must have your bacon and wine, I agree with just do it and not contaminate the stuff for the abstainers.

sparksals

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #10 on: October 29, 2012, 10:55:08 PM »
Considering the OP is pregnant, she should be able to cook and eat whatever she pleases.  Of course, make sure meals aren't entirely pork for her mother, just like I'm sure her mother will ensure the OP has food she enjoys, like bacon after the baby is born.  It is a two way street.


Luci

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #11 on: October 29, 2012, 11:10:52 PM »
Considering the OP is pregnant, she should be able to cook and eat whatever she pleases.  Of course, make sure meals aren't entirely pork for her mother, just like I'm sure her mother will ensure the OP has food she enjoys, like bacon after the baby is born.  It is a two way street.

You have a major point!

Deetee

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #12 on: October 29, 2012, 11:17:02 PM »
You don't need to. I would still do it if it was a meal or two. It feels more welcoming for guests. Just like I would like tomake food they enjoy.

However for a llonger term visit I wouldn't. So I think I would make sure that the first couple meals were pork and alcohol free and then go back to normal.

To be honest that's what I do with most house guests. I like to make them welcome with a bit of a fuss and then tone things down so its more comfortable for everyone.

snowdragon

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #13 on: October 29, 2012, 11:18:19 PM »
Considering the OP is pregnant, she should be able to cook and eat whatever she pleases.  Of course, make sure meals aren't entirely pork for her mother, just like I'm sure her mother will ensure the OP has food she enjoys, like bacon after the baby is born.  It is a two way street.

  to me the pregnancy is a red herring. A host who is not pregnant would have the same right under etiquette to cook and eat whatever they please as one who is pregnant. The only thing either one had to do is assure that their guests have something to eat.

Bijou

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Re: Hosting with food restrictions due to religion
« Reply #14 on: October 29, 2012, 11:22:02 PM »
Honestly, if it's just for a few days or even a couple of weeks, I just go along with simple restrictions like no pork and alcohol, especially for religious reasons. We never serve alcohol when some people are around, and try to limit bread and desserts when celiacs are around. With those it's not even religion.

It just makes it simpler and less fuss.

Now a vegan might be really tough; some things are really easy.

But if you must have your bacon and wine, I agree with just do it and not contaminate the stuff for the abstainers.
I like the way you think, Luci45.  So simple to do some changes temporarily.  And I love pork! 
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.