Author Topic: This is Not A General Referendum on YOU!  (Read 6956 times)

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LadyJaneinMD

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Re: This is Not A General Referendum on YOU!
« Reply #30 on: November 01, 2012, 12:27:03 PM »
It sounds to me like these are the kinds of friends who are actively looking for a reason to feel less adequate than you, or looking for something to gripe at you about.

In other words, like non-friends.  Make it so.

lilfox

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Re: This is Not A General Referendum on YOU!
« Reply #31 on: November 01, 2012, 05:14:01 PM »
First, this sounds like a lovely clever way to use your silver and enjoy it.

Second, Friend needs to get a grip. You are not using your silver AT her.

Third, I vote for calling her on it, and if she doesn't quit, I'd back away.

The second point made me laugh, I never thought of it that way but it's a totally apt description.
If I had overheard the OP's friend go off about OP humiliating her with the show of silver, I would definite think something else was going on.  Because I would not believe just a one-off silver thing would set off that kind of reaction.

My point is that the friend seems to be bothered by much more than the silver-served dessert, and since OP says this is not unusual for friend, I would suggest taking a closer look at those other situations where friend goes off to see what the pattern is.  Then consider having a heart to heart.  But the dynamic probably won't change until the friend "owns" her jealousy or envy or whatever issue causes her to not enjoy a fun dessert gathering.

In my own experience, there's a couple we're friends with who travel ALL the time, on beach vacations, big multi-country trips, cruises, ski trips, you name it.  they're always posting photos and talking about how great it was, or you must go to X country or do whatever special trip.  I love to travel but cannot do much of it due to work and family obligations.  I'm totally envious but I would never dream of telling them they are making my life seem petty and small with all their exotic experiences.  How could their travel be LESS about me?