Afraid my nephew will flood the bathroom more info #36

[TootsNYC]

OP, I think if you're that concerned he will flood your bathroom you can always say something like "The bath curtain has a tendency to blow out if you're not careful and then the floor floods.".  That way you're not accusing him and he shoud get the idea to be careful about the curtain.  (Can't guarantee, but it might work.)

As far as the length of the showers I think you should just let it go for while he's there unless he will be there for an extended amount of time.

Also perhaps add, "it may not seem like a big deal, since the floor is tiled, but the shower pan doesn't extend outside the shower itself, so the water can actually seep through and damage the subflooring. It's amazing how damaging water can be when it gets in the wrong place.
   "And of course, it's a pain in the neck to clean up! When towels get that sopping wet, it's hard to even set them down someplace because they get everything ELSE wet, and then stuff mildews easily. Again--water in the wrong place, right? Plus, it's time that's better spent some other way."

Sometimes people just don't think something like that is a big deal. Hey, the floor is waterproof, no? It's tiled! And you can just sop it up with a towel, right?
So, explain the cause-and-effect further.

Since his dad is not particularly good at taking care of his own home, the poor kid sure hadn't had any examples!

[camlan]

When my brother was about 17, he visited me. The bathroom was drenched after he took a shower, because, like the nephew in the OP, he didn't put the shower curtain inside the bathtub. He was used to the shower doors in our parents' house and had simply never had to deal with a shower curtain before.

So the nephew may have already learned his lesson and know all about shower curtains. If not, a simple reminder, "Please make sure that the curtain is inside the lip of the shower the whole time you are in there," seems reasonable and polite. "Please don't shower longer than 8-10 minutes or there won't be enough hot water for everyone," is a simple, clear statement of the house rules.

I wouldn't make a big deal about this. A quick reminder about the shower curtain and a matter-of-fact statement about the hot water. If he neglects either request, then there might need to be a more in-depth discussion about his continued stay in the apartment. But he is an adult. Give him a chance to live up to that.

[Shoo]

I've stayed at fairly nice hotels that have a sign in the bathroom that says, "Please make sure the shower curtain is inside the bathtub when you shower."

So if a hotel can tell its guests that, then I think YOU can tell you nephew the same thing.  Just make it matter-of-fact, like you have to tell all the guests that stay with you.

[Editeer]

If it's a party for adults, you don't bring a baby to it. Babies aren't adults.

Are we having a party in the shower now?   

[Harriet Jones]

If it's a party for adults, you don't bring a baby to it. Babies aren't adults.

Are we having a party in the shower now?   

If it's at the Playboy mansion. 

[Style_and_Grace]

I really don't see why you can't be honest with him. Treating him like a child is, well, rather childish on YOUR part.  If you want him to act like an adult you have to treat him like one. 

[AuntyEm]

OP--Some clarifications here:  He has a long history of not thinking for himself.  It isn't really his fault because his parents have done all the thinking for him and continue to do so.  I saw him about a year ago and nothing had changed.  I try very hard to treat him as an adult when I'm around him to give him some practice but he can get himself into some bad predicaments on his own. Toots, you're right about my brother not setting a good example.  When I last visited their house, nephew's bathroom (now the guest bath) had a broken shower nozzle and the toilet was no longer firmly attached to the floor.  I fixed the shower while I was there and suggested they get a plumber to reset the toilet.  They had just had to have their master bath repaired, at great cost, because they had continued to shower in a shower with cracked tiles until the rotted wall caved in behind it. Don't know what cause this or if there was no indication of a problem but the skylight in the master bathroom also flew off during a rainstorm surprising my brother who was sitting right underneath it!     

The bathroom flood at my parent's was 3 years ago but was pretty bad and he didn't even try to clean it up--just left it.

My brother announced that he would be staying at our house without them, it was not my idea but I didn't see how I could say no since we have a guestroom.  He'll be here 5 days.

We have two bathrooms, one with a tub (mine) and one with a shower. We use the shower daily and I use the tub rarely.  With just a modicum of care, you can keep the shower curtain in the shower but it does require actually checking to see if any part of it is sticking out.  I thought about putting Velcro in this morning and will do so.

Again, my concern is water leaking down into the empty apartment below.  It is actually a 150 year old building with 6 condo units and probably isn't as water tight on the bathroom floors as a new building. I'm new to living in a condo and  may be over paranoid about damaging someone else's property.

Thanks for all your ideas and advice.  Hopefully, I'm worrying about nothing and he will be the perfect house guest.

[TootsNYC]

OP--Some clarifications here:  He has a long history of not thinking for himself.  It isn't really his fault because his parents have done all the thinking for him and continue to do so.  I saw him about a year ago and nothing had changed.  I try very hard to treat him as an adult when I'm around him to give him some practice but he can get himself into some bad predicaments on his own.

Then treat this as one of those "Oh, hey, I know some things that are useful, I'll mention them to you" sort of thing.

I think people really do NOT get the link between water on a tiled floor (outside the shower pan, which lots of people don't even know *exists*) and damage underneath.

And really, someone should have sent the kid back in to mop up the water and mentioned that it can actually seep through and damage stuff permanently. Lord knows he's had plenty of first-hand observation of the expensive damage water can do--just draw the link for him!

[RingTailedLemur]

My brother announced that he would be staying at our house without them, it was not my idea but I didn't see how I could say no since we have a guestroom.  He'll be here 5 days.

You most certainly can say "no"!

[YummyMummy66]

Um, you can say no.  No one should be able to tell you what you can and cannot do in your own home.

This nephew is an adult?   Why is he also not staying in said hotel?  Probably because the parents know the damage he does and that they will ahve to pay for it.

And I would not be kindly reminding him of things.  I would be telling him this is how I expect you to do it and keep our home clean while you are here.  After his shower, I would be going in and checking things out and giving him the supplies necessary to clean up his mess.

[NyaChan]

I'm thinking mom & dad don't want to share a room with their son and would rather not pay for him to have a separate room either. 

[RingTailedLemur]

I agree with YummyMummy66 and NyaChan.

[Yvaine]

I'm thinking mom & dad don't want to share a room with their son and would rather not pay for him to have a separate room either.

I think this too. It's the parents wanting space and alone time. I don't think it's because they're worried the son will trash the hotel room--from the OP's update, the parents are just as likely to damage the room themselves.

[BeagleMommy]

OP, my opinion has changed since your update.  First of all, if you don't want him in your home you have the right to tell your brother "I'm sorry, that won't be possible".  If you decide to allow him to be there you tell him "These are my house rules.  You MUST keep the shower curtain inside the tub and you CANNOT take showers that last longer than 10 minutes (or whatever time limit you want).?  If he can't obey your house rules... pack him off (or drop him off) at his parents' hotel room.

[sevenday]

You can certainly say no, even if you have five zillion "guest rooms."  "Sorry, that won't be possible." "Why?" "I wish you'd asked before making your plans based on the expectation that you could stay here, but it just isn't possible."  You aren't going to enjoy it much if you don't really want them there.   Velcro the thing, tell him straight up to make sure to use the velcro (demonstrate usage if he seems unsure) and explain that you're concerned that any water that escapes the pan may damage the floor and/or the apartment below.  You don't need to add the "duh" part, just frame it as "this is how it has to be done here."  If they haven't made the connection between  "shower fail = expensive repairs at home, shower fail here = expensive repairs here" then I don't think they'll EVER get it honestly.