Afraid my nephew will flood the bathroom more info #36

[ShadowLady]

I like GrammarNerd and Kaypeeps suggestions, sound matter-of-fact when setting down the house rule, and hopefully it will be fine.  But do check up on him.

(And Kaypeep, my suggestion is to take his towel off of the footboard, and stretch it over his side of the bed to dry, including the pillow.)

[MrTango]

My brother announced that he would be staying at our house without them, it was not my idea but I didn't see how I could say no since we have a guestroom.  He'll be here 5 days.

You most certainly can say "no."  It's not your brother's house, it's yours.

If my sister announced that my nephew would be staying at my place, I'd probably say "no" on principle, even though if she asked me, I'd almost certainly say "yes."

[Bijou]

It's pretty unfair to your downstairs neighbors to let someone with his careless inclinations to use the shower at all if it is risking property damage to their place.  I'd turn off the water to the shower and tell him it is out of order.  Sponge baths should be fine for the duration.

[doodlemor]

It's pretty unfair to your downstairs neighbors to let someone with his careless inclinations to use the shower at all if it is risking property damage to their place.  I'd turn off the water to the shower and tell him it is out of order.  Sponge baths should be fine for the duration.

Wise advice.

[Onyx_TKD]

It's pretty unfair to your downstairs neighbors to let someone with his careless inclinations to use the shower at all if it is risking property damage to their place.  I'd turn off the water to the shower and tell him it is out of order.  Sponge baths should be fine for the duration.

I think if it comes to the point that the OP refuses to let her nephew use the shower, then it would be much kinder to not host him at all. I think providing functional bathing facilities (shower and/or bathtub) is a minimum for normal overnight hosting. Since there is no bathtub available in the guest bathroom, then it's not fit for overnight guests if the shower is non-functional. Allowing him to show up and then informing him that he has to take sponge baths would be appalling hosting IMO. This would be even worse if he is traveling with his parents and won't have his own transportation to go elsewhere and find himself other accommodations.

It's true that the OP did not offer to host him, but according to her account, the nephew was not the one who invited himself, that was his father's rudeness. Why should the nephew have to suffer through inadequate hosting by someone who resents his presence when there is no indication that he even knows he wasn't invited? Better to just tell him and his parents that it won't be possible for him to stay, and let them arrange adequate accommodations for their son.

[MOM21SON]

I would never live in a place where ONE flooded shower could do so much damage.

I think you should decline to host, it will not be comfortable for either of you.

Edited for spelling.

[jaxsue]

I would never live in a place where ONE flooded shower could do so much damage.

I think you should decline to host, it will not be comfortable for either of you.

Edited for spelling.

That first sentence seems unnecessarily harsh.

[MOM21SON]

I would never live in a place where ONE flooded shower could do so much damage.

I think you should decline to host, it will not be comfortable for either of you.

Edited for spelling.

That first sentence seems unnecessarily harsh.

I don't mean to sound harsh. I just think that if one shower could do that much damage, I wouldn't be comfortable taking a shower there myself, even I lived there.

[Kaypeep]

I think having the nephew over is a great opportunity to teach him what it means to be a good houseguest.  It's apparent his parents haven't given it much attention and don't even treat their own home too carefully.  I'd be honest with nephew and let him know that the rules you have are universal if he wants to be invited back to your place, or anywhere else, and that what flies at home is NOT the norm.  I'd try to say it in a helpful way, not judgmental, because it's not his fault if he's sheltered.  Honestly, I'm on some bulletin boards for children of hoarders and it's apparent there are lots of people who were just not raised learning the basics.

[MOM21SON]

I just thought of something else.  You haven't seen him in a year, have you talked with him on the phone or anything since then?

If not, I think you should prior to the visit just to get a feel of what he is thinking. 

Being greeted with rules is not very welcoming.

[DavidH]

I think you are obliged to provide working bathing facilities whenever possible, so unless there is a true emergency turning off the water would be rude.  If you were afraid that they would stop up the commode, would you suggest a chamber pot will be enough or they should go behind a shrub? 

If you don't want to host, then change your mind and refuse. 

I'm going with MOM1SON, if your home is in such a delicate state than some water on the floor from a shower will cause damage below even if you check on it and mop it up in a timely fashion, you shouldn't host.  Water on a bathroom floor is just not that unusual an occurrence, people get out of the shower wet, shower curtains come away from the wall, commodes get stopped up, sinks overflow and then you mop it up and move on. 

[MOM21SON]

I think you are obliged to provide working bathing facilities whenever possible, so unless there is a true emergency turning off the water would be rude.  If you were afraid that they would stop up the commode, would you suggest a chamber pot will be enough or they should go behind a shrub? 

If you don't want to host, then change your mind and refuse. 

I'm going with MOM1SON, if your home is in such a delicate state than some water on the floor from a shower will cause damage below even if you check on it and mop it up in a timely fashion, you shouldn't host.  Water on a bathroom floor is just not that unusual an occurrence, people get out of the shower wet, shower curtains come away from the wall, commodes get stopped up, sinks overflow and then you mop it up and move on.

Thank you.

[merryns]

I am also with those who think that there is something very wrong about a bathroom that will suffer major damage from a few minutes of wetness.
Unless I have missed something, Nephew caused one flood three years ago. Treating him like a destructive idiot and greeting him at the door with lectures is going to make his stay very unpleasant for all. I'd keep any advice very very brief, or even better, wait and see if there is an actual issue before making one.

[jaxsue]

I would never live in a place where ONE flooded shower could do so much damage.

I think you should decline to host, it will not be comfortable for either of you.

Edited for spelling.

That first sentence seems unnecessarily harsh.

I don't mean to sound harsh. I just think that if one shower could do that much damage, I wouldn't be comfortable taking a shower there myself, even I lived there.

Got it. It was how it initially came across. I understand it better now.

[MOM21SON]

I would never live in a place where ONE flooded shower could do so much damage.

I think you should decline to host, it will not be comfortable for either of you.

Edited for spelling.

That first sentence seems unnecessarily harsh.

I don't mean to sound harsh. I just think that if one shower could do that much damage, I wouldn't be comfortable taking a shower there myself, even I lived there.

Got it. It was how it initially came across. I understand it better now.

I understand, thank you.  I will try to do better.