Hints for joining a small town

[Raintree]

I spent two years in a small community. The corollary to the steering wheel wave is the wave and smile back when you are out walking, even though you can't see into the car and you have no idea who is waving at you.

Yeah, they don't like it when "newcomers" (people who have lived there 10 years or less in some cases) express an opinion on a hot local topic. As if that issue only affects long-timers. One poor guy who tried to start up a business there made the mistake of stating an opposite opinion on a hot topic and suddenly half the community refused to do business with him. (I found it all kind of irritating; I am not a small town person I guess, but again, maybe that kind of attitude is unique to that place). But I guess if it's an issue that everyone complains about, you can complain about it too.

[oz diva]

I wasn't planning on saying anything about the school, and since she is 2 the topic won't come up for awhile.  I suspect they are a tad touchy on the subject because after major complaining about lazy H.S. teachers they have been cleaning house.  Although, we are moving from one of the top school districts in the state, and she wasn't going to school here either.

You'd be surprised. When my two were about that age folks starting asking us what school they'd go to and a few years later what high school. I don't know why this is considered an interesting conversation, but apparently it is. At least where I come from.

[Sophia]

I think the town has 4 schools total.  Two elementary, one middle and one high school.  So, which school probably won't be a topic of conversation.  If the topic comes up, I will tell people we'll be homeschooling and then mention it was something we started discussing even before marriage (so way before moving to the area). 

On football, it would please me if our daughter likes it.  My husband had mentioned eventually taking her to high school games, regardless of where we lived.  The band and the cheerleaders and the good, clean excitement level.  Assuming she enjoys it, I will enjoy watching her. 

[Oh Joy]

All good suggestions so far.  I would seriously consider re-thinking the homeschooling.  School is one of the biggest gatherings of the locals.  Small town school is where everyone meets each other parents and children.  If your daughter isn't attending, she (and you) will have a more difficult time making friends, gaining acceptance and trust from other parents, having playdates, etc.   

I respectfully disagree - I wouldn't suggest they change their educational path to fit with the local community.  But I would suggest they add a compliment to their answers about school, such as 'we decided long ago to homeschool, but I heard Mrs. Smith just won an award/the high school has a great new science lab/there are great teachers in this district.'

[Elisabunny]

Does your state allow dual enrollment?  If so, you can homeschool, but still participate in band, sports, and other school activities.

[Jloreli]

Find out where everyone goes for dinner Friday night and for breakfast/lunch after church. Eat there fairly often.

Extra points if you find out where the "old duffers" hang out for coffee in the morning. Ask their advice on where to buy XYZ or who to hire for odd jobs/repairs/who's the good plumber.

[Diane AKA Traska]

Honest question:

Does an introvert have a chance in a small town?  Because I really want to move to one (have my eye on several), but I am *very* much a homebody that keeps to myself.

[CreteGirl]

Find out where everyone goes for dinner Friday night and for breakfast/lunch after church. Eat there fairly often.

Extra points if you find out where the "old duffers" hang out for coffee in the morning. Ask their advice on where to buy XYZ or who to hire for odd jobs/repairs/who's the good plumber.

That was going to be my advice.  If there is a diner in town, go there early and often.  Get to know the waitresses, and the "regulars".  It won't take long.

I envy you.  I grew up in a small town, and miss it very much.  It is a great way to live.

[Sophia]

Does your state allow dual enrollment?  If so, you can homeschool, but still participate in band, sports, and other school activities.

The state is pretty de-regulated now after having the pants sued off them 15-ish years ago.  I know the district we are leaving allows participation in everything but cheerleading.  I don't know about the new one. 

[Sophia]

Honest question:

Does an introvert have a chance in a small town?  Because I really want to move to one (have my eye on several), but I am *very* much a homebody that keeps to myself.

If it weren't for my daughter, I wouldn't worry the social aspect like I am.  My husband and I are natural homebodies with a tendency toward being hermits.  But I don't want to limit her socially because other parents don't want their kids to socialize with my kid. 

[Diane AKA Traska]

Honest question:

Does an introvert have a chance in a small town?  Because I really want to move to one (have my eye on several), but I am *very* much a homebody that keeps to myself.

If it weren't for my daughter, I wouldn't worry the social aspect like I am.  My husband and I are natural homebodies with a tendency toward being hermits.  But I don't want to limit her socially because other parents don't want their kids to socialize with my kid.

Being childless, that's good to know. 

[Girlie]

I would also see about joining any local women's club.

If there are any small, local shops, I would recommend finding one. Like, if there's a town square or something, maybe pick one store to stop in every week to buy the Sunday paper or something. When I worked in Big National Grocery Chain, even with the thousands of customers we had, we got to know the "very regulars" pretty well.

And a big POD to the people who recommend finding a new favorite restaurant.

[Piratelvr1121]

Honest question:

Does an introvert have a chance in a small town?  Because I really want to move to one (have my eye on several), but I am *very* much a homebody that keeps to myself.

I think so. BFF is in a small town and very introverted, a self-proclaimed loner and doesn't have much trouble with the other people there.  Mind you she was born and raised there, moved away for 10 years then moved back, so it may be different but it doesn't bother her too much.

[Sharnita]

Honest question:

Does an introvert have a chance in a small town?  Because I really want to move to one (have my eye on several), but I am *very* much a homebody that keeps to myself.

I think so. BFF is in a small town and very introverted, a self-proclaimed loner and doesn't have much trouble with the other people there.  Mind you she was born and raised there, moved away for 10 years then moved back, so it may be different but it doesn't bother her too much.

I think so too, although it depends on what you want or don't want from the experience.

[CakeEater]

I've lived in small towns all my adult life (I'm 34), and I actually think it would be harder to socialise in the city. In small towns you see the same people everywhere you go: church, shops, Christmas street fair, local show, aport, playgroups etc etc, and you have lots of opportunities to talk to them.

OP, I can't imagine anyone not wanting their kids to socilaise with yours at age 2, because you planned to home school her. I was a teacher until I had kids, and I can see how much benefit homeschooling would be for some kids, much more so than being in my class. There's stacks of things for mothers and two-year olds to do together in my small town, most of which don't revolve around schooling at all.