Author Topic: Help with TYN please  (Read 1499 times)

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twiggy

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Help with TYN please
« on: November 02, 2012, 03:08:45 AM »
4yo DS recently had his birthday party. It was our first "friend party" and there were 6 guests there. At the party, I had to feed the baby, so DH supervised gift opening. He didn't really pay attention to who gave what, but he did put cards/gifts back together. The problem is that on the way home, my almost 2yoDD could reach the bags, and dumped everything out in the back of the van. I've been doing a lot of process of elimination, and thought I had it all figured out. Then I talked to my sister to double check that niece had given DS the racecar. Turns out she didn't, and now I'm not confident in my process of elimination.

I still want DS to send TYN. He's too young to write it himself, but I printed an outline "Thank You" for him to color in, and he colored a picture for each friend on the back of the card. My question is, what do I write on the inside? At this point I'm thinking of something like

"Thank you for helping me celebrate my birthday. It was a lot of fun to have you at my party, and I love playing with you at recess/playing soccer together/I'm glad we're in Sunday School together."

Then having him sign his name. Is that ok? Is it too generic? I'm not comfortable asking or double checking that I have the right giver/gift match ups with anyone but my sister. I met one of the preschool moms at the party. I do know for certain what 2 people gave, so should I make those more personal? Or is that like having 'A list' and 'B list' TYN? Am I overthinking this?
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

sweetonsno

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Re: Help with TYN please
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2012, 03:17:36 AM »
Whoops! I guess I'd suggest trying one more time (any photos of the gift-opening?) and then letting it go. For the people whose gifts you can identify with certainty, list them. For those that you can't, some other sort of personal observation is fine. (If you can't remember whether Katie from preschool brought the art set or the robot toy, do you remember if she won a particular party game or sang really nicely?) In short, I'd make it as personal as you can, but not sweat it if you can't.

I think it's great that you're getting your DS to help with the cards. (And happy birthday to him!)

Miss Unleaded

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Re: Help with TYN please
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2012, 03:29:54 AM »
I don't come from a strong culture of thank you note giving (so take this with a grain of salt), but my feeling is that your proposed wording is pretty much perfect.  I think getting the wrong present on the note has more potential for hard feelings than a generically-worded note would.

MummySweet

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Re: Help with TYN please
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2012, 09:06:26 AM »
I like the wording that you have suggested, but I think you need to mention the gift in a general way.  Otherwise the note doesn't acknowledge or  thank them for it.   How about adding, "and for the cool present" to the first sentence?   

Bexx27

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Re: Help with TYN please
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2012, 10:14:28 AM »
Did DS open the gifts in front of the guests and thank them at that time? If so, thank you notes are not necessary.
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these. -George Washington Carver

peaches

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Re: Help with TYN please
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2012, 10:18:08 AM »
I would add "and thank you so much for the gift" or "I really appreciate the gift".

Not mentioning it at all seems odd, even if you don't know which gift goes with which guest.

shivering

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Re: Help with TYN please
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2012, 11:53:39 AM »
I would just add "thank you for the gift." Otherwise, it sounds perfect. I think TYN content is more relaxed for little kids and the parents likely won't even notice. And as another poster noted, if you're not confident on who gave what, writing the wrong gift will raise more eyebrows than not mentioning it all.

BeagleMommy

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Re: Help with TYN please
« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2012, 12:07:56 PM »
I think your wording is great but, as PP have said, I would add something like "thank you for the great gift".

baritone108

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Re: Help with TYN please
« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2012, 02:51:41 PM »
 What you are planning is fine but I don't think it would be a problem to call the parents of the kids who came, explain what happened, and find out who gave what.  I had a parent do this with me once, years ago, and didn't mind at all.  Stuff happens and if you just quickly explain that you were preparing to do thank you notes when 2YO scrambled the gifts & cards I'd be surprised if anyone complained or was offended.

Roses

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Re: Help with TYN please
« Reply #9 on: November 02, 2012, 03:22:58 PM »
I agree with previous posters. I would just add a "thank you for the great gift" or "thanks for the fun present". 

TootsNYC

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Re: Help with TYN please
« Reply #10 on: November 02, 2012, 04:26:56 PM »
I would want to know if the kid enjoyed that specific present. So I vote for calling and finding out what people gave and including something like that in the note.

I don't really care about the "glad we're in Sunday School together" stuff; I want to know, "Have you played Candy Land yet? Did you like it?"

Dorrie78

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Re: Help with TYN please
« Reply #11 on: November 02, 2012, 04:28:41 PM »
Since there were only 6 guests there, and if you are certain that everyone gave a gift, just call the attendees and ask. Tell them that your 2 year old jumbled all the cards and the gifts and you wanted to make sure you had everything straightened out. I can imagine that everyone would then tell you not to bother with TYNs, but I would then tell them that it is important to you to teach your daughter to do them and really would appreciate their help.

gramma dishes

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Re: Help with TYN please
« Reply #12 on: November 02, 2012, 05:00:59 PM »
Since there were only 6 guests there, and if you are certain that everyone gave a gift, just call the attendees and ask. Tell them that your 2 year old jumbled all the cards and the gifts and you wanted to make sure you had everything straightened out. I can imagine that everyone would then tell you not to bother with TYNs, but I would then tell them that it is important to you to teach your daughter to do them and really would appreciate their help.

This.  I think the other mothers would just get a little smile out of your predicament because they've either already been there, done that or they know it will possibly/probably happen to them sometime in the future. 

I'd very likely leave off the recess, soccer, Sunday School sentence because those things have nothing to do with the party or the gift they brought.

When my kids were little we had a Polaroid camera.  As the birthday child opened each gift, I had the child who had brought that particular gift sit right next to my child.   I took two super fast together pictures just as the gift was revealed and we kept one and gave the other to the child who had given that gift to add to their goody bag.