Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Baby Shower Advice needed

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livluvlaf:

--- Quote from: StuffedGrapeLeaves on November 07, 2012, 12:26:36 PM ---livluvlaf, it's unclear to me whether or not GF1 actually told GF2 that she can only host 10 people?  If she did and GF2 still insisted on 30, then that's rude.  If GF1 was just wishy washy and/or GF2 is normally not like that, then I think it's just a miscommunication and GF1 should be more clear.  I don't think this is your problem, though.  You have done a lot, and it's really nice of you to even do desserts or a cheese platter. 

--- End quote ---

Usually both GFs are afraid to impose on each other. So its likely that the exchange of info was wishy-washy from both sides ... but GF1 has walked away from the conversation with the expectation that she host a shower for 30 guests. She has just received the guest list - she's pretty certain its the same list as the last shower ... we're skeptical that many of the out of town guests will be able to attend, so it may reduce that number significantly.

wolfie:

--- Quote from: livluvlaf on November 06, 2012, 10:07:48 PM ---
She was too tired to do her own cooking, and grabbing take out ... which is financially and nutritionally unhealthy. No, they don't have a lot of money, but at the end of the day she has to feed her family something.

--- End quote ---

Does she not have a partner? I would expect him to step up to the plate and take care of dinner before going to someone outside the family to provide this type of support.

livluvlaf:
actually, he is very busy on a regular day ... works a full time job with a business on the side. Plus as soon as they discovered they were expecting, he's been prepping his current home for sale and now renovating the new one to move into.

I appreciate everyone looking out for me, but please understand that I began to prepare meals for them on my own volition. I wasn't asked, and I have been verbally thanked profusely. I've known them for more than 20yrs and they would be the first to say "wow, thank you - but this is really unnecessary" or "thank you, but we're ok for now ... although we may appreciate a meal or two after the twins arrive ..."

Again, I have no worries of being taken advantage. None.

Deetee:
Before livluflaf even posted, I wanted to post something similiar saying that the thread is ascribing some motives to the people on the thread that are not terribly nice.

Helping out friends is a great thing thing to do and should be applauded. It's different if someone is pushed into something but livluvlaf seems to have no problems with her contribution. She is also comfortable with her contribution not extending to the shower. That strikes me as the perfect balance of generosity and backbone.

The shower thing is tricky because it sounds like poor communication rather than anyone wanting to be pushy.

Best to all!

Mikayla:
At worst, this is gimme piglet by proxy.  It's obvious GF2 is a caring, good person and may be too rattled with everything going on to stop and think.  I also agree with the comment upthread that she may have gotten a lot of "let me know when your shower is".   If she has a lot of people who love and care about this, this isn't sutprising.

It's clearly an etiquette no-no, but part of etiquette is that gray area when there are bigger issues.  I hope she enjoys her shower and, of course, her new twins.

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