trick or treating question

[O'Dell]

I don't see it as rude at all.  I figure it all evens out over time.  I don't plan to have kids, so I'll never have anyone to take trick-or-treating, but I love handing out candy without the expectation of any reciprocation.  If I started thinking of the holiday in those terms it would be a lot less fun.

I totally agree with you! I have always enjoyed handing out candy and never had kids (didn't want them and too old to have them now).

And I agree with Rohanna too. Are single parents rude? Or others that need both parents to handle the kid/kids? I don't think she's taking it too personally. She's pointing out what can be a logical conclusion based on the argument people are making.

So the parents that feel that this couple is rude, do you feel that you are taking advantage of people like Surianne and me? I mean you are never going to give out candy to our kids. Do you skip our houses?

[yokozbornak]

I don't think it was rude at all.  DH and I were out all night with our two little girls (although at an event and later we visited a couple of houses in our neighborhood) because we wanted to be together as a family.  I am not going to begrudge a mom or dad who wants to see their kids trick or treat.  There are many years ahead of them to give away candy.  DH and I lived in our neighborhood for many years before having kids and always handed out tons of candy.  This year, we wanted to enjoy the event with our children.

[POF]

I think we are ALL over thinking this.  I don't care if it is reciprocated or not. I love to give out candy and when the boys were little we all went out. I handed out candy before and after and left it on the porch. I view TOT candy as really a gift to someone - so no recoprocity or conditions needed.

[mj]

We hand out candy after we get back, most years.  Sometimes we haven't had the chance though.

But, I figure it all works out in the end, we handed out candy pre-kids and will hand out after kids are too old to trick or treat. 

[miredrose326]

I am a single mom with two fantastic kids. We have lived in our house for 9 Halloweens now. I intend for this to be my house forever, so I am going to say that the fact that I took my kids trick or treating and left my light off for 8 years will be more than made up for by the fact that I will be home handing out candy for the next 30-40 years. I hope people didn't think I was rude when I was out trick or treating with my kids but the memories I made with them every year makes it worthwhile. Like the fact that in 8 years trick or treating there was never a year that my daughter did not trip and fall, spilling her candy.

[Just Lori]

Count me among those who thinks it all evens out in the end.  Most families hand out candy long after the kids stop trick or treating, so if they miss a few years now, they'll wind up making up for it in future years.

[jillybean]

I don't think they were rude, and I applaud them for turning their lights off so people wouldn't waste time knocking.  I have a neighbor who decorates her house to the nines for Halloween with lots of orange blinking lights and such, and then leaves them on while she and her husband take the kids ToTing.  There's always tons of kids going to the door and waiting and waiting because obviously they're open for business, or so one would think.  So annoying and thoughtless.

[NyaChan]

I don't think they were rude, and I applaud them for turning their lights off so people wouldn't waste time knocking.  I have a neighbor who decorates her house to the nines for Halloween with lots of orange blinking lights and such, and then leaves them on while she and her husband take the kids ToTing.  There's always tons of kids going to the door and waiting and waiting because obviously they're open for business, or so one would think.  So annoying and thoughtless.

That is not cool.

[TootsNYC]

I think that if you're taking (e.g. Trick or treating) you should reciprocate by giving.  But that reciprocation doesn't have to happen that year. If a person gives out candy before they have kids and after their kids are grown up/stop trick or treating, is it really such a big deal if they skip passing out candy for a couple (or even 20) years in the middle?

I totally agree - but the OP says this family only moved in a few months ago, so while they have given in the past they didn't give in the community they are now taking from.

But ...so what? The point is not an exact even exchange. The point is that, when and where they can contribute, they should. It's not a big deal if that doesnt happen every single year in the exact location. Sure, maybe they just moved in, but that means somebody else just moved out. If the mover-outers gave candy for the last ten years, does that mean in their new neighborhood, they won't get "credit" for the giving in the past. What if this new family gave out candy for the last ten years - does that not count?

They may have also given out candy in a different community in the years before their kids were born.

I think "community" is much broader.

I *do* think that people who "take" should also "give," but it doesn't have to be an exact exchange. So I would want them to return energy to their community in some way--bring their kids to community events, or help out with food drives, etc.

And yes, give out candy in the many, many years AFTER their kids are too old to trick-or-treat.

[amylouky]

DH and I took the boys TOTing together. We left a bowl of candy on our porch. Of course, it could have all been taken by the first group of kids, but I like to hope not. We usually don't get very many kids anyway (year before last we had 2.)

I'm wondering though.. would we be considered rude, because we actually went over to my sister's house for dinner, then TOT'd in her neighborhood, not ours? So, we weren't giving back to the community we were taking from? Does it matter that sis was handing out candy, even though her kids are grown and out of the house?

[Hmmmmm]

I don't see it as rude at all.  I figure it all evens out over time.  I don't plan to have kids, so I'll never have anyone to take trick-or-treating, but I love handing out candy without the expectation of any reciprocation.  If I started thinking of the holiday in those terms it would be a lot less fun.

I totally agree with you! I have always enjoyed handing out candy and never had kids (didn't want them and too old to have them now).

And I agree with Rohanna too. Are single parents rude? Or others that need both parents to handle the kid/kids? I don't think she's taking it too personally. She's pointing out what can be a logical conclusion based on the argument people are making.

So the parents that feel that this couple is rude, do you feel that you are taking advantage of people like Surianne and me? I mean you are never going to give out candy to our kids. Do you skip our houses?

POD to this.  I'm fine with parents going out with their little ones.  It will probably only be for a few years and then their kids will want to go alone and them they'll be like us handing out candy for the next 30 years long past when our kids are out collecting candy.  I guess I can see some concern if a street has a high volume of young kids and all the parents are out so no one is home to pass out candy, but in my experience there's always enough older families to to assure a bounty of candy.