Does an engagement change things? UPDATE #15

[Jones]

Holy spit.

My DH picked me up for a lunch break, stood me by a lake and gave me a ring. Then I went back to work.

I cannot imagine the exhausting production this proposal appears to have been.

[julianna]

Looking forward to months of groomzilla posts from this one.  You might consider suggesting to either Todd or Jenny that they start a wedding blog -- it would be much easier for them to write this stuff out once instead of having to repeat it (and, the real reason for suggesting it, it would save all of you from having to hear every excruciating detail).

[Mikayla]

Eh, I can't decide just how awful Todd is.  I'd never call him a special snowflake, but maybe more someone who doesn't think things through, and has not been called out on it.

I vaguely recall the birthday week thread, and combined with this one, it almost seems like he gets so focused on making his girl happy, he forgets that the rules change when you involve others.  Three minutes of engagement story = interesting.  Ninety minutes  = stupifyingly boring.

Is there someone close who could talk to him about this?  If he's a good guy otherwise, somebody needs to gently explain to him how some of this comes across.  And yes, Friend does need an ehell account for that spinal issue!

[TootsNYC]

I will say though -  Todd is the only guy I know who would do something like that for a proposal, and Jenny is the only girl I know who would love it.  They both love big gestures, and a lot of spectacle, and they mesh really well because of it.

Ah, but do the two of them mesh well with the REST of you?

Because a spectacle needs spectators.

[SoCalVal]

Beware of the *surprise* party w/visual aids that Todd is likely to give after Jenny gives birth.

    I had not considered that. 

The story took that long because it involved a lengthy backstory, a recap of some relationship highlights, what the parents knew or guessed, his cover story for Jenny, the pre-proposal planning, the multiple stops, the explanations for each stop, multiple stuffed animals, a limo, a cathedral, an acapella group, the movie to show the things he'd told them about and the aftermath of telling the families.  But that was just the short rundown that someone told me about, apparently there was more.   

I will say though -  Todd is the only guy I know who would do something like that for a proposal, and Jenny is the only girl I know who would love it.  They both love big gestures, and a lot of spectacle, and they mesh really well because of it.

Big gestures are one thing, but holding a group hostage during what should've been a fun night out so you can bore them all for 1.5 hours to talk about how wonderful you were in your proposal is another.

Given that I have, more than once, walked out during presentations than have gone on more minutes than they should have, I definitely wouldn't have stuck around for this (unless it had been supremely entertaining, which it doesn't sound like it was).  I wouldn't have felt bad either (haven't felt bad about walking out on the others).

[Amara]

Beware of any invitations from the couple to watch their vacation home movies.

 

[Shopaholic]

Be prepared for the wedding.
You better believe there will be a 2-hour slide show/video/live skit rehashing their entire lives.

And never agree to let Todd use your house ever again.

[secretrebel]

Anyways, once everyone was there, he had everybody sit down on the couches and chairs and insisted that someone record it because he was sure to get tired of retelling it over and over, while he related the story of the proposal evening.  This took a full 1.5 hours & included visual aids and a movie of a good 20 minutes of the night.  A friend of Todd's who I don't know well was quite drunk at the bar and told me that she gulped a large glass of vodka with a splash of OJ to get through it.  Guess that explains the drunkenness...

Ahahaha! That Todd, he cracks me up. I can't wait for the wedding and the birth of the first child. I think Vodka Drinking friend had the right idea.

I see Todd as someone who thinks he's in a movie. He seems to want everything to be a parade.

[Donovan]

 
Frankly they both sound exhausting to have as friends with the grand gestures and attention seeking behavior. 1 1/2 hrs? Yuck. 

[doodlemor]

Ahahaha! That Todd, he cracks me up. I can't wait for the wedding and the birth of the first child. I think Vodka Drinking friend had the right idea.

I see Todd as someone who thinks he's in a movie. He seems to want everything to be a parade.

I've never watched any of those reality shows.  Is that how those people act?  Is Todd trying to imitate those people like Heidi and whoever it was?

I agree with the vodka lady too.  Skoal!

[blarg314]

Todd sounds like a classic bridezilla.  He's so caught up in his own special moment, that if fails to occur to him that 1) Nobody else cares as much as he does 2) Other people have special moments too and 3) His behaviour is way over the top compared to how everyone else celebrates things like birthdays and engagements.

I predict an engagement party, a bridal shower, a stag night, a hen night, a Jack and Jill, and a full week of wedding festivities, plus a post wedding video show and rehash. At each of these events, the participants will be expected to pay for themselves, and chip in for the bride and/or groom, and possibly buy lottery tickets.  The multi-hour video tribute to their relationship will show up for at least three-quarters of the events, including the wedding receptions, with video from each of the previous stages tossed in, so that each successive watching is longer.

Personally, I'm looking forward to the stories, but I feel sympathy for the OP. I think that she and her friends will need to collectively develop iron spines, and figure out how to tactfully explain to Jenny that they are happy for her, but that her fiance's demands are driving them away.

[StuffedGrapeLeaves]

I will say though -  Todd is the only guy I know who would do something like that for a proposal, and Jenny is the only girl I know who would love it.  They both love big gestures, and a lot of spectacle, and they mesh really well because of it.

Ah, but do the two of them mesh well with the REST of you?

Because a spectacle needs spectators.

Toots brought up a good point.  If the two of them keep demanding the rest of you be the spectators to the grand gestures, either you and your friends have to develop a spine to resist, or all of you have to accept being held hostage for years to come. 

[WillyNilly]

I will say though -  Todd is the only guy I know who would do something like that for a proposal, and Jenny is the only girl I know who would love it.  They both love big gestures, and a lot of spectacle, and they mesh really well because of it.

Ah, but do the two of them mesh well with the REST of you?

Because a spectacle needs spectators.

Toots brought up a good point.  If the two of them keep demanding the rest of you be the spectators to the grand gestures, either you and your friends have to develop a spine to resist, or all of you have to accept being held hostage for years to come.

Buy stock in vodka 
At least you will be able to happily sip as you pretend to listen while mentally calculating your quarterly earnings check.

[jedikaiti]

How does the telling of a proposal take 1.5 hours???

I can't make mine last 5 minutes, but mine was also the equivalent of us looking at each other and saying "Ya know, it's about time we got off the dime and did this." "Yea, you're right. How about May-June?" "Sure!"

Heck, one of my high school teachers managed to sum up hers in under 20 minutes - and her story involved her then-BF picking her up early from school with flowers, going for a run, a surprise fancy dinner (he'd had a friend of hers get some clothes & all the stuff she'd need to get ready and bring it to his place), a walk, a song, and a surprise engagement party. And her retelling was repeatedly interrupted by excited, giggling teenage girls who'd witnessed the flowers at the beginning.

[jedikaiti]

Take this as your fair warning of what you can expect from Todd for the rest of your lives.

You know the saying "Fool me once, Shame on you!" "Fool me twice, Shame on me". That applies here, except I'd call it "Stomp on me like a doormat once, Shame on you!"  "Stomp on me like a doormat twice, Shame on me!"

DO NOT under ANY circumstances, allow him to tell you about the birth of their first child!!!!!