So I'm not posting this in I Need a Hug because at this point it's just hilariously bad and there wasn't any etiquette violations (not really). So here is the story of my epically bad wedding reception....
Backstory.....My husband and I were married at the courthouse last year in a very casual and quick ceremony that needed to happen for insurance purposes. Later on, we decided to throw a wedding reception. We had TWICE before scheduled and booked a venue for our wedding, but because of extenuating circumstances we had needed to cancel both times. So, for the third time we began the process of booking a venue and planning our reception.
The day before the reception I received an email from my photographer saying that she was quitting because she had not received payment yet. Mind you, I had sent a check a week before when she requested payment. She went on to say in the email that most couples pay a few weeks in advance without being asked and that she wished us luck. I tried calling her and she wasn't answering my phone calls or my husbands phone calls so I started to freak out. How do you find a wedding photographer with less than 24 hours to go?!?!
So after my husband peels me off the ceiling we drive over to the photographers house to figure out what was going on. She greets us warmly and asks us how the wedding planning is going and generally acts as if nothing is wrong. My husband and I look at each other like ?!?!? and ask her whats up and she says that she had received the check in the mail, but that it wouldn't clear by the time the wedding rolled around so we would have to give her a money order. So, instead of calling me and telling me any of this she basically quits, freaks me out and then acts like nothing is wrong. We rush over to the bank and get her a money order and think that everything is settled, but apparently the "fun" is only just beginning...
The day of the reception arrives and everyone is happy, we're getting ready and taking pictures with the aforementioned photographer. It's drizzling heavily, my dress is getting mud on the bottom of it and my hair is falling out, but I don't worry about it. I'm having a great time with my husband and we're taking our pictures. Our reception is at 4pm so around 3pm we head back to the hotel to rest before we have to leave for the reception down the street and I notice that I'm starting to get a little bit nauseated and I feel like I'm going to be sick to my stomach.
I had eaten a normal breakfast so I eat some crackers and take off my dress for a little bit thinking that it's just nerves. Well, we get to the party and my nausea is getting worse and as I'm greeting guests I have to keep excusing myself to go to the restroom in order to be sick to my stomach.
Although throwing up makes me feel better for a little bit, it's really bad for me because I have the gastric LapBand and throwing up can dislodge my band. At the same time, throwing up with a LapBand is HORRIBLY painful and hard to do because my band is so tight. Within an hour I was shaking very badly, was dizzy and had stopped sweating. I couldn't hold down any fluids and anything I did drink came right back up. Now, I don't remember much about this next part, but apparently some concerned guests tell my mom and husband that I'm throwing up and that I need help. I don't really remember talking to my mom or husband, but I do remember fainting and "waking up" to my brother calling my name. Fainting is a really weird feeling and I felt like I was in a tunnel looking out at people and I couldn't really communicate that well either, but needless to say it's a trippy feeling.
I don't remember this part either, but I guess my mom wen't inside and asked for help so about twenty people came outside to see what was going on. My aunt and cousin, who happen to be nurses, came outside, checked me out and made me drink water. At about this time the paramedics (yes, you read that right) came as my husband had called 911 when I had first fainted. They did a bunch of tests to see what was wrong and recommended that I come to the hospital since I was pretty dehydrated and I needed something for the nausea.
So...off my husband and I go in our wedding gear in the ambulance to the hospital where we spend a few hours in the ER. I was given four liters of saline and a bunch of anti-nausea stuff which was absolutely wonderful since apparently I had picked up a stomach bug, but I was definitely dehydrated since I didn't have to use the restroom once that night. Once we were discharged my husband and I had my father in law pick us up and drop us off at the reception site where the party is just winding down. It was nice because our guests did give us a standing ovation and we did get to have our first dance, but at the same time I just really wanted to go home because I was feeling like crap and starting to feel the all-over body aches and chills that you get from the flu.
So there you have it...my epically bad wedding reception. I missed my own reception for a stomach bug and went to the hospital in an ambulance because I fainted from dehydration. Mind you, I've never been sick like that before in my life. Never been to the hospital and I've certainly never fainted before. And to prove it to you all I've included a picture that one of the RN's took while I was in the ER...
