Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Hypothietical, a change to a socail unit post invitaion.

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camlan:
So the question is, after sending out invitations, one of the single guests gets engaged. What do you do about the invitations.

What I'd do is call the newly engaged guest and extend an invitation over the phone for the new fiancee. The guest is now part of an "official" social unit and the fiancee should be invited.

However, if the final head count deadline has passed when you get news of the engagement, I think I'd call and explain that to the guest, that you are really, really sorry, but there is no way to accommodate the fiancee at this time. And I guess you'd have to do the same if the venue couldn't accommodate one extra seat--but I might wait until the RSVPs started coming in, because most likely at least one person will have to decline.

If the budget is really tight, I'd still invite the fiancee, and cut something else out of the budget--fewer flowers, different favors.

There's really no reason for anyone to feel snubbed or offended. As far as the hosts knew, they weren't in a committed relationship that required extending the social unit rule to them. But that's also why I'd call or invite them in person--tone of voice says so much. "We had no idea! We are so hoping s/he can come! We'd love to meet him/her!" said with gushing enthusiasm says so much more than a second invitation dropped into the mail.

PurpleFrog:

--- Quote from: Shoo on November 04, 2012, 12:00:10 PM ---
--- Quote from: Yvaine on November 04, 2012, 11:58:33 AM ---
--- Quote from: Shoo on November 04, 2012, 11:51:21 AM ---It seems you have left out a huge part of this story.  What is the situation?  I can't make sense of what you've written.

--- End quote ---

Read it together with the poll question. You've sent out invitations to your event and you only invited a "plus one" for people who were married, engaged, or living together. A few days after the invitations went out, one of the guests got engaged. Do you invite the new fiance/e, and how do you do it?

That said, I don't know what the rule is.

--- End quote ---

Shoo I've restated the question in my op in the hope that clarifies.

I guess that's what can be inferred.  But it is no way clear that is what the OP is getting at.

--- End quote ---

MariaE:
PurpleFrog, the thing is you're still missing the part where somebody got engaged! That's only implied, not stated outright - I'd add the bolded.

"You're holding a formal event, for which you have invited social units (married/engaged/living together) together, but others who do not fall into those catagories alone. Your invites go out in the stanadard time frame, and you have bugeted to the number of invitees. After the invites have gone out, one of your guests moves in with her boyfriend / gets engaged, What would be your course of action? (please see poll)"

That said, I think it would depend on the situation. Is it before or after the RSVP deadline? Can the venue physically accommodate another person? If after the RSVP deadline, have any other guests declined?

Yvaine:

--- Quote from: camlan on November 04, 2012, 01:32:19 PM ---There's really no reason for anyone to feel snubbed or offended. As far as the hosts knew, they weren't in a committed relationship that required extending the social unit rule to them. But that's also why I'd call or invite them in person--tone of voice says so much. "We had no idea! We are so hoping s/he can come! We'd love to meet him/her!" said with gushing enthusiasm says so much more than a second invitation dropped into the mail.

--- End quote ---

How do you phrase it if you did know the fiance/e when they were just the girl/boyfriend?

Shoo:

--- Quote from: MariaE on November 04, 2012, 01:41:11 PM ---PurpleFrog, the thing is you're still missing the part where somebody got engaged! That's only implied, not stated outright - I'd add the bolded.

"You're holding a formal event, for which you have invited social units (married/engaged/living together) together, but others who do not fall into those catagories alone. Your invites go out in the stanadard time frame, and you have bugeted to the number of invitees. After the invites have gone out, one of your guests moves in with her boyfriend / gets engaged, What would be your course of action? (please see poll)"

That said, I think it would depend on the situation. Is it before or after the RSVP deadline? Can the venue physically accommodate another person? If after the RSVP deadline, have any other guests declined?

--- End quote ---

This is what I meant.  Purplefrog, if you don't clarify your OP and the poll, you are going to have posters who aren't inclined to "figure out" what you are trying to say and just skip your thread.  You still haven't said what the issue is or given any info about WHY you're asking what you're asking.  Posters here have had to go back and re-read and infer what it is you're asking.  Frankly, I don't think we should have to try and figure out what you are saying.  It really needs to be more clearly written.

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