It might be possible to hire someone. Thing is, we still certainly wouldn't do it more than we do now. I've been thinking (and thank you all yet again for returning some perspective to me!) and our lawn really is kept to what I would consider
normal standards. I just think his are, well, nuts.

That realization solidified a lot for me.
DH told me that Neighbor said something to him that leads us to believe that he thinks DH is unemployed. (In fact, he works nights, as he has for years.) So of course he must just be laying around eating bon-bons instead of doing yardwork.

Of course, he's really ferrying kids back and forth to school, doing freelance work, getting YDS fed, getting kids to doctor appointments when needed, doing housework, helping out his elderly mom quite a bit and doing yard stuff
when necessary. And sometimes, getting some extra sleep because on the average night it's only about six hours between the time he gets home and the time we're getting the boys up for school the next day.
You're right, MeowMixer. A particularly quirky X-Files episode!