Author Topic: Appropriate time to call? Update Post 16, 21  (Read 7223 times)

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Angel B.

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Appropriate time to call? Update Post 16, 21
« on: November 04, 2012, 06:33:47 PM »
Hello all! I'm pretty sure this is in the right place but if it isn't, please move!

I went out on Friday night for drinks and dinner with someone. We met at a bar a couple of nights before and he had asked me if he could buy me a drink. I asked "What do I have to do in return?"(I don't trust people very well) and he said "Let me take you out to dinner". I thought it was pretty gutsy so I gave him my number.

I had a great time, and while I didn't know for sure if it was a real date, I wasn't terribly nervous with him. We did kiss goodnight, and he suggested we get together again. I texted him the next day to say I had fun and good luck playing football(soccer). He texted me back saying he had a good time too and I assume this gives me the green light to see each other again.

My question is, do I wait to hear from him or can I text him asking if he wants to get together again? I don't actually know his name, it was the one thing I could not remember from meeting him the first time. He poked fun at me a bit and said it meant I'd have to go out with him again to learn it. Would it be appropriate to text him and ask "Oh so can I have a chance to figure out your name this weekend" later this week? when is it appropriate to contact again? I don't know if it matters but he's British and I'm American. I haven't been in the dating scene for the last year and a half so I really don't know what I'm doing etiquette-wise.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2012, 06:26:53 PM by Angel B. »
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JenJay

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #1 on: November 04, 2012, 06:58:49 PM »
I think you can definitely text him and joking about the name thing is a cute, flirty way to do it. Have fun!  :D

Seraphim

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2012, 07:00:32 PM »
If it was me, and I had a good time, I would send a text.

I would suggest a date though, not just touch base. Something like:

'Hey stranger. I still need a chance to learn your name! How about Dinner at *insert casual but nice place here* Saturday night at 7?'

That way he can just say yes, or reply with another date and time. it also shows that you are interested as well, he dosen't have to do all the chasing.




SleepyKitty

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #3 on: November 04, 2012, 07:06:48 PM »
If it was me, and I had a good time, I would send a text.

I would suggest a date though, not just touch base. Something like:

'Hey stranger. I still need a chance to learn your name! How about Dinner at *insert casual but nice place here* Saturday night at 7?'

That way he can just say yes, or reply with another date and time. it also shows that you are interested as well, he dosen't have to do all the chasing.

I like this a lot. I think it also bypasses a lot of potential confusion. If you just text him to touch base, there might be a lot of coy back-and-forth before you know whether or not it will result in an actual date.

Although, I'm old-fashioned and I would actually call him. :)

cutecupcake

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #4 on: November 04, 2012, 08:16:04 PM »
Depends on how many days it's been since the date. I'd def wait for him to text me within 3 days and if I didn't hear anything then I'd probably send him a flirty text.

Raintree

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2012, 02:00:58 AM »
Quote
He poked fun at me a bit and said it meant I'd have to go out with him again to learn it.

He wouldn't have said that if he didn't want to go out again, so hopefully you replied by indicating that you would like to. Anyway, yes, I'd wait a few days and then bug him again for his name, in a flirty way.

Angel B.

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2012, 04:10:36 PM »
Thanks everyone! I will definitely send a text on Wednesday if i don't hear from him before then. Our date was on Friday and we spoke on Saturday.
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TurtleDove

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2012, 04:22:18 PM »
I am a strong believer that if you are into each other, timing doesn't matter, and if you are not, timing doesn't matter.  Contact him when you feel like contacting him and don't play games.  (Obviously within reason - don't text him 50 times with no response, but send a text or call him and see what happens).

Seraphim

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2012, 05:23:45 PM »
I am a strong believer that if you are into each other, timing doesn't matter, and if you are not, timing doesn't matter.  Contact him when you feel like contacting him and don't play games.  (Obviously within reason - don't text him 50 times with no response, but send a text or call him and see what happens).

I agree TurtleDove. Its one thing to not harrass someone by over texting, but I hate the games people play. You are either interested or not - simple!

No reflection on you OP - I dont think you are playing games at all.



DaDancingPsych

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #9 on: November 06, 2012, 11:32:46 AM »
I am a strong believer that if you are into each other, timing doesn't matter, and if you are not, timing doesn't matter.  Contact him when you feel like contacting him and don't play games.  (Obviously within reason - don't text him 50 times with no response, but send a text or call him and see what happens).

I agree TurtleDove. Its one thing to not harrass someone by over texting, but I hate the games people play. You are either interested or not - simple!

No reflection on you OP - I dont think you are playing games at all.

POD  Once I had developed a suggestion for a second date, that's when I would be texting him... if that is one day or three, doesn't seem to really matter. The problem occurs when you keep texting and he's not responding...

Cat-Fu

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #10 on: November 06, 2012, 12:06:44 PM »
I agree w/ the PPs, just text him and don't worry overmuch about timing or "the rules."
“Poetry is a sword of lightning, ever unsheathed, which consumes the scabbard that would contain it.” PBS

LifeOnPluto

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #11 on: November 06, 2012, 09:24:28 PM »
Is it just me, or does anyone else find his refusal to tell you his name really bizarre?

Seraphim

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #12 on: November 07, 2012, 06:02:24 PM »
Is it just me, or does anyone else find his refusal to tell you his name really bizarre?

Maybe...

I just see it as an attempt at humour. At least he isn't offended she forgot his name!

I have done something like this when meeting friends of friends. Introduce myself by my real name - I go by a nickname, my real name is pretty normal by my nickname isnt. Think Samantha, but I go by Manthy. If they forget and ask me my name again, my name is Cuthbert or Fred, or Ginger kitty - something totally off the wall. (I do tell them eventually though!)

I kinda thought it was like the old trick when you leave your glasses/scarf/purse in their car/house so they have to call you again. I just see it as a 'handle' to get you talking and in contact again. I thought it was kinda cute.




LifeOnPluto

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #13 on: November 07, 2012, 09:28:40 PM »
Is it just me, or does anyone else find his refusal to tell you his name really bizarre?

Maybe...

I just see it as an attempt at humour. At least he isn't offended she forgot his name!

I have done something like this when meeting friends of friends. Introduce myself by my real name - I go by a nickname, my real name is pretty normal by my nickname isnt. Think Samantha, but I go by Manthy. If they forget and ask me my name again, my name is Cuthbert or Fred, or Ginger kitty - something totally off the wall. (I do tell them eventually though!)

I kinda thought it was like the old trick when you leave your glasses/scarf/purse in their car/house so they have to call you again. I just see it as a 'handle' to get you talking and in contact again. I thought it was kinda cute.

Each to her own. I personally wouldn't find it cute or coy. More like weird (and possibly rather manipulative).

DaDancingPsych

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Re: Appropriate time to call?
« Reply #14 on: November 08, 2012, 01:39:54 PM »
Is it just me, or does anyone else find his refusal to tell you his name really bizarre?

When I read the OP, it did send up a few red flags in my brain. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it really depends on the situation and how he was playing it. I'm not sure I would withhold my name as it seems risky, but the OP doesn't seem worried, so he must know his own game.   :)