People leaving things in your car

[Raintree]

A woman I know, Cindy, has a bit of a rep for leaving things in people's cars (she doesn't drive). Last night I drove her and her bf home from a party as I was going in that general direction anyway. When I got home I noticed a hat in the car.

She then emailed to say she thought she had left her hat in the car. I said I'd drop it off next time I went that way.

She emailed back: "When would that be? I really need it in this weather as I take the bus."

How do I respond to this? She kind of makes it sound like I'm inconveniencing HER!

[dirtyweasel]

Just reply, "I'm not sure when I'm going to be heading your way, but if you need the hat you can pick it up X day/X time.  If you can't make it then I'll let you know when I'll be driving by your place."  If she tries to make you drive to her house just tell her that won't be possible and give her dates in which she can pick it up from your house. 

[Barb3000]

invite her to take the bus over to your house to pick it up anytime you are home.

[NyaChan]

I second dirtyweasel.  Respond that she can pick it up from you if she prefers, otherwise, you will drop it off when you get a chance.

[LeveeWoman]

A woman I know, Cindy, has a bit of a rep for leaving things in people's cars (she doesn't drive). Last night I drove her and her bf home from a party as I was going in that general direction anyway. When I got home I noticed a hat in the car.

She then emailed to say she thought she had left her hat in the car. I said I'd drop it off next time I went that way.

She emailed back: "When would that be? I really need it in this weather as I take the bus."

How do I respond to this? She kind of makes it sound like I'm inconveniencing HER!

Tell her Jill has it! 

Seriously, I like dirtyweasel's phrasing.

[BarensMom]

I hate when this happens.  It happened frequently with a (former) friend, who would leave her purchases, doggie bags, cigarettes, etc. etc.  She would always call my house after I made the drive all the way home (never on my cell) and expect me to drive all the way back (10 miles) to get them back to her.  I put a stop to it after the umpteenth time, by asking her before she got out of my car, "Are you sure you have everything?" and do a run through of everywhere we went that day.  If she still forgot something, it would have to wait until the next time I was in her direction.

I think it might be a control issue, at least in her case.  (BTW, this is the friend I mentioned in the "are you late if everyone else arrives early" thread.)

[Emmy]

You are not under any obligation to run out of your way to bring it back to her.  Personally, I think it was pretty rude of her to throw in the line "I really need the hat" to try to get you there sooner.  She can purchase another hat if she needs it that desperately and doesn't have a back up at home.  Is Cindy always losing things?  I find it strange that she would constantly leave things in other people's cars yet not leave things behind on the bus or in other circumstances.  Since she has a rep for doing this, it may be best to remind her to check for her things next time she gets out of your car.
 
I had somebody leave a hand brace in my car.  This was an out of town visitor, so he was several hours away when he called about it.  He asked me to mail it priority because he needed it.  I did and never received an offer or payment for the mail or even a thank you for my trouble.

[Deetee]

I leave things everywhere at all times. It's above and beyond to return it to her at all. Ignore her complaints.

[Raintree]

  Personally, I think it was pretty rude of her to throw in the line "I really need the hat" to try to get you there sooner. 

Precisely. I was willing to drop it off at some point, but my reaction to that (in my head) was, "And how is this my problem?" In fact, it made me want to take my sweet time about getting it back to her, although I won't really*...I'll still take it over next time I am passing by, which will probably be in the next few days.

(I think that might be considered on this forum as "retaliatory rudeness" but I am just saying it was my gut reaction, not what I would carry out. People being SS does not make others want to do them special favours, is all I am saying).

[YummyMummy66]

Like another poster stated, if your friend is known for this, and it appears she is, any time she would be in my car, before she left said car, I would be making sure she has everything that is hers out of said car.  Easy peasy.

[cabbageweevil]

Only, if you're as absent-minded as me, it's possible to sincerely think you have checked and gathered up all your stuff, and STILL leave something behind. But I hope that I'm not an imperious pest to people about returning the overlooked item.

[TootsNYC]

I've had just enough experiences with people leaving something behind in a TAXI that *I* check my own car every time someone else gets out of it.

It's not that easy to leave something behind in the average car--it's usually pretty visible.

[GrammarNerd]

Could this tendency to leave things possibly be somewhat deliberate, so she gets you to stop by when you return it?  I just have to wonder, because there are some people who like a captive audience, and this would be one way to ensure that she'd be getting a visitor.  Or, worse yet, she'll try to get you to take her somewhere else when you drop off the hat 'since you're there anyway.'  Not sure if your friend is like this, but it was just the first thought that popped into my head.

Yeah, definitely tell her when she can pick it up from your house if she needs it sooner.

[Luci45]

We have one guest who visits twice a year and always - always! - leaves something. I finally just started throwing his stuff out. Most of it is trash anyway. Forty-five years of this is enough, already!

His mother just wrapped all his leavings for the prvious year in individual packages and gave them to him for Christmas. She passed away shortly after that, so we didn't find out if that changed his ways on that front.

You don't need to go out of your way at all. Remind her that Walmart is open 24 hours a day and I'm sure she'll get there sometime or another.

[Dorrie78]

I had a car in high school and that was very unusual (I was a day student at a boarding school, so no one else had a car). After numerous issues, I made a blanket policy that if you left it in my car, it was now mine. I announced that policy to my friends who rode in my car and reminded them of it periodically. I had very few things left in the car, but I did get a very nice pair of sunglasses out of it once. Found them in the back seat, had no idea how long they had been there or who had left them, so I started using them. No one ever tried to claim them. Some people can be so careless if they don't suffer consequences.

To the OP - PPs have it right - tell her she is welcome to pick up her hat anytime she likes (assuming you can leave it somewhere that she can retrieve it, like a front porch) or give her some set times that you will be home. Personally, I would not deliver it to her home unless you had existing plans to be right there.