It's a little late to do anything about it anyway, and I wasn't there to witness this. In a nutshell, my brother is still angry at my uncle (and rightly so, IMO), but yesterday was the baby's Christening, so my brother decided to try to put it aside for a day. The Christening went well, and I went back home because I was in pain from my neck and shoulder, but my mom and brother went over to their house for a little "after-thing".
Everything was apparently very nice up until the end, when my uncle tried to shake hands with my brother. My brother folded his arms, and nodded. The following exchange apparently went something like this:
Uncle: Aren't you going to shake hands with me?
Uncle: *demanding* Why not?
Brother: This isn't the time or place to discuss it.
After that, my uncle blew up at him. It was "Eff" this, "Eff" that, "You treat me like *expletive*", and so on. Right in front of his kids, too. My brother kept his cool, refusing to shout back, and my mother said, "We'll just go," since they were on their way out the door anyway.
My grandmother was trying to diffuse the situation, saying, "That's okay." My mom heard my uncle's wife saying, "No, it's NOT."
My question is, was my brother rude to refuse the handshake? Either way, I think my uncle's reaction was way out of proportion to the "slight", but since I wasn't there to see it I only have the accounts of my mother and brother. I have no reason to doubt them, and having seen my uncle in action before I have no reason to think his tirade was warranted.
I'm not sure I would have refused to shake his hand, but I don't know if I can disagree with my brother here.