Divorce question

[snowball's chance]

Maybe the GF thinks you two ARE legally divorced.  I mean, of those who've dated divorcees, who has asked to see the divorce decree?

[green ferns]

Maybe the GF thinks you two ARE legally divorced.  I mean, of those who've dated divorcees, who has asked to see the divorce decree?

I did! But only after we were talking marriage, and we didn't get around to it until a few weeks before the wedding. I don't know what I would have done if we'd lived together before we were married, though.

[Calbrini]

Maybe I should have asked 'Borat' for his wifes death certificate when I was seeing him.

Are they really married or is she just calling herelf his wife?

[Elfqueen13]

Maybe the GF thinks you two ARE legally divorced.  I mean, of those who've dated divorcees, who has asked to see the divorce decree?

To get a marriage license for a second marriage you have to show proof of divorce to the County Clerk's office.

[Missy2U]

Maybe the GF thinks you two ARE legally divorced.  I mean, of those who've dated divorcees, who has asked to see the divorce decree?

To get a marriage license for a second marriage you have to show proof of divorce to the County Clerk's office.

I've been married three times - I've never had to.

Perhaps this woman is considering it a "common law" marriage?

[Elfqueen13]

Maybe the GF thinks you two ARE legally divorced.  I mean, of those who've dated divorcees, who has asked to see the divorce decree?

To get a marriage license for a second marriage you have to show proof of divorce to the County Clerk's office.

I've been married three times - I've never had to.

Really?  I'm getting married for the 2nd time next summer.  Everything I've looked at online says I have to take my divorce decree with me to get the license, even though I'm getting married in the county where my divorce was recorded.

[Dragonflymom]

I think it depends on the county, or maybe on your state.

I looked up what I needed to do to get a marriage license in our county, to see if I needed any sort of proof of divorce.  The county web site says all I need to do is give the date of divorce, and not provide proof.  I got divorced in the same county I'll be getting married in though, I wonder if they just check through their own files on it.

[GINO40]

Maybe the GF thinks you two ARE legally divorced.  I mean, of those who've dated divorcees, who has asked to see the divorce decree?

Yes, I'm quite sure she doesn't know because he has a tendency to lie through his teeth about everything!!

[StuckInCube]

I think it depends on the county, or maybe on your state.

I looked up what I needed to do to get a marriage license in our county, to see if I needed any sort of proof of divorce.  The county web site says all I need to do is give the date of divorce, and not provide proof.  I got divorced in the same county I'll be getting married in though, I wonder if they just check through their own files on it.

Definitely must vary by state/county. My DF must provide proof of his divorce with the official decree in order for us to obtain a license. I guess I just assumed that was like that in everywhere in order to avoid situations like what the OP is describing!!

[platys]

it probably depends on how computerized or hooked up the county office is.  If they can't check to see if you were ever married, there's no reason to make people bring in proof they were divorced.

[GINO40]

The funny thing is, he keeps insisting(through e-mail) that we did go to court,and that he has a copy of the divorce papers. Excuse me, but when did I go to court, where is my copy of the papers? I know he's lying to her because now he refuses to talk to me, either by phone or e-mail. I really have no desire to talk to him, I haven't for months, but the cancellation of my insurance made it necessary for me to call him(the "wife" answered his cell-phone!)

[EtiClerk]

OP - Check the records by calling or going to the courthouse where each of you live (if he lives in a different jurisdiction, he may have filed there.)  It is possible he went to court without you and got a default judgment of divorce.  Technically you should have been served with papers, but if he lied his way around that (by saying he didn't know where to find you) you may have a can of worms on your hands that needs to be opened (depending on the disposition of property/obligations in the divorce decree.)

I think it is time to talk to a lawyer.

[artk2002]

The funny thing is, he keeps insisting(through e-mail) that we did go to court,and that he has a copy of the divorce papers. Excuse me, but when did I go to court, where is my copy of the papers? I know he's lying to her because now he refuses to talk to me, either by phone or e-mail. I really have no desire to talk to him, I haven't for months, but the cancellation of my insurance made it necessary for me to call him(the "wife" answered his cell-phone!)

I don't usually condone shouting in a forum, but GET A LAWYER!!!!!  DO IT NOW!

Sorry for that, but you could be in a world of difficulty.  As  Eticlerk noted, he could have gotten a default judgement.  In any case, you could be entitled to spousal support (how long were you married, BTW?)  You must have legal representation.  Please.

[Coruscation]

Maybe the GF thinks you two ARE legally divorced.  I mean, of those who've dated divorcees, who has asked to see the divorce decree?

To get a marriage license for a second marriage you have to show proof of divorce to the County Clerk's office.

I've been married three times - I've never had to.

Really?  I'm getting married for the 2nd time next summer.  Everything I've looked at online says I have to take my divorce decree with me to get the license, even though I'm getting married in the county where my divorce was recorded.

Dh had to provide proof of a divorce but only after he ticked the boxed marked "Yes" in the question Have you previously been married. I remember thinking at the time, it would be a lot less paperwork if he had just ticked "No". and assuming that how bigamists managed.

To clarify, dh was divorced but you have to make a trip to the courthouse during working hours to have a certified copy made of several documents, birth certificate, wedding certificate, divorce certificate etc. Both dh and his ex had destroyed their wedding certificates. I spent several hours pasting together his ex's copy of their wedding certificate with sticky tape which she had tor into one inch pieces. The clerk just gave me a sympathetic grin, she's obviously seen it before.

[Sophia]

...I spent several hours pasting together his ex's copy of their wedding certificate with sticky tape which she had tor into one inch pieces. The clerk just gave me a sympathetic grin, she's obviously seen it before.

But, just think of the great story you have now.  That is funny.