Standing Room Only - Who Gets the Seats

[magdalena]

I'd think that free seats are free for all, barring special seats for disabled etc.

I can imagine people being a bit annoyed at having to move, but that doesn't make you rude at all, OP.

Have to add a disclaimer though: I hardly ever take the bus/a train (I have never been in a bus in our town and I've lived here for almmost 6 years), I always walk or ride my bike because I like to stay fit.

[TootsNYC]

Actually, there are times when I will take a seat that vacates near me simply BECAUSE it moves me OUT of the aisle, which means people don't have to maneuver past me to get out.

So in a way, if there's no one immediately near you who needs the seat, I think you *should* sit down, if only to get out of the walking space.

[TootsNYC]

I sometimes will continue to stand if I only have one or two more stops to go. You certainly weren't rude to sit down, if I were in the same situation, I might do the same. But I don't think it was really necessary to announce your intentions. If there are empty seats and no one is moving towards one, just sit down. People may have thought it was odd that you made the announcement before you sat down - almost like they were doing something wrong by *not* sitting down.

Eh, maybe, but I think the OP was absolutely right to say this--it gave someone closer to the seat a warning, and if they wanted to sit, they could have taken it.

I think the OP's announcement was perfectly fine. Also not necessarily needed--they had their chance.

[Devix]

You saw an empty seat, no one made a move towards it and so you took it.  I can't think of anything you did that could possibly be seen as rude.  It wasn't as if you pushed anyone out of the way and you did wait to see if someone closer wanted it instead.

I'm one of those people that will choose to stand even if there are plenty of open seats on the train/bus.  I know I'm going to be sitting down for the next few hours so I prefer to stand while I can.

[Tea Drinker]

POD TootsNYC: it's a positive good to make the aisles less crowded.

[LifeOnPluto]

I also agree that you were absolutely not rude.

And I agree the people who looked annoyed probably did because they had to move (which still doesn't make you rude). Either that, or they were annoyed with themselves for not having the guts to be the first to "break the seal" and take an empty seat.   

[thedudeabides]

Or they may have been confused/startled by the announcement that you were taking a seat.  In general when I take public transportation, the only people making random announcements are the drivers and the crazy people.   

[Allyson]

I see this a lot in the buses in my city. They aren't that big, so the aisles tend to get *really* crowded if people don't sit. Because of this, if nobody seems to be sitting down, I pretty much always do. Just makes things less crowded. I wonder if the 'nobody sits' thing happens because rather young able-bodied people are afraid of getting the side-eye from people for taking the seat themself rather than letting someone else have it. Sort of like how nobody will take the last cookie.

[JadeAngel]

Actually, there are times when I will take a seat that vacates near me simply BECAUSE it moves me OUT of the aisle, which means people don't have to maneuver past me to get out.

So in a way, if there's no one immediately near you who needs the seat, I think you *should* sit down, if only to get out of the walking space.

Pod. If there was an elderly person, visibly disabled person, or visibly pregnant woman near me I would offer them the seat before taking one for myself, beyond that it's up for grabs. It clears the aisles for people who are trying to get on and off the bus.

[TurtleDove]

Or they may have been confused/startled by the announcement that you were taking a seat.  In general when I take public transportation, the only people making random announcements are the drivers and the crazy people.   

The announcement was not that I was taking a seat.  It was that I needed people in the aisles to either take the seat themselves or let me past them to take the seat.  The alternative would have been for me to silently push my way past people standing in the aisle.  It was in no way a random announcement, and it wasn't so loud that everyone would hear, just those who would have to move so I could sit.

[Shopaholic]

Actually, there are times when I will take a seat that vacates near me simply BECAUSE it moves me OUT of the aisle, which means people don't have to maneuver past me to get out.

So in a way, if there's no one immediately near you who needs the seat, I think you *should* sit down, if only to get out of the walking space.

Pod. If there was an elderly person, visibly disabled person, or visibly pregnant woman near me I would offer them the seat before taking one for myself, beyond that it's up for grabs. It clears the aisles for people who are trying to get on and off the bus.

This is what I do, too.
It's not rude to take a seat that nobody has made a move to sit in.

[Dorrie78]

Or they may have been confused/startled by the announcement that you were taking a seat.  In general when I take public transportation, the only people making random announcements are the drivers and the crazy people.   

The announcement was not that I was taking a seat.  It was that I needed people in the aisles to either take the seat themselves or let me past them to take the seat.  The alternative would have been for me to silently push my way past people standing in the aisle.  It was in no way a random announcement, and it wasn't so loud that everyone would hear, just those who would have to move so I could sit.

To reiterate, I don't think you were rude in the slightest with your actions, but another alternative would have simply been to say "excuse me" as you walked past people to the empty seats. I do agree with thedudeabides. I tend to look a bit askance at people who make random announcements in a public location. I wonder why that person feels compelled to announce and/or explain their actions to everyone around them, especially when the person is doing something very normal like sitting down.

All I'm suggesting is that the people who were nearby and reacted oddly to your actions might not have viewed your actions as rude, but viewed your decision to tell them what your (entirely normal and polite) action was about to be and why you were doing it as strange.

[WillyNilly]

^ Sometimes its just too many words 
I find the 'norm' is an "excuse me" while pointing or indicating towards the empty seat.  Sometimes its even just a nod towards the seat and eye contact.  I know for me when strangers start with full sentences to me on public transport, especially in the morning (I don't drink coffee until I get to work) I just glaze over.

But really its such a minor thing, and I wouldn't be annoyed at it.  I just don't respond well externally. You were fine.

[bopper]

Also, how do you know they think you are rude? Because they are looking at you?  They also may be looking for the simple reason you are moving and people look at things that move.

[mbbored]

Also, how do you know they think you are rude? Because they are looking at you?  They also may be looking for the simple reason you are moving and people look at things that move.

Good point! I also commute by bus and I doubt that my face is fixed into a pleasant expression. I'm often tired, thinking about my day, and trying to avoid eye contact with anybody around me for fear of accidentally encouraging somebody to start a conversation or rant.