Not answering when someone calls at a certain time

[TootsNYC]

I told her if it's that bad she should call 911.

Go, you!

In fact, you need to remember: There is almost NO emergency that REALLY needs you to answer then. If someone is at death's door, and you have 1 hour to get there before they die--maybe.

But if she sprains her ankle at the mall and can't drive home, some kind person at the mall will help her. At *least* until you are free and can call her back, in 1.5 hours. And if it's bad enough that medical attention will make a difference, then, in the words of SOMEONE wise, "Call 911."

I think that the reason she's calling you at 8pm, or in the evening, is that this is a normal time to connect with people, and you're the person she wants to connect with. (Does she have no family living with her, I wonder?)

She'll know you're screening her calls no matter what you do in the future w/ technology, but it might be good to fix it so that it doesn't automatically do that.

And I wouldn't check the phone at all--just set it so ALL calls go to the answering function.

And you might make it a point to call her back at a set time, and then say, "I want to talk to you each night, at 9:30--how does that fit your schedule?"

In other words, focus on a positive, what you DO want ("I want to speak with you at X time") and not on what you DON'T want ("I don't want to speak with you at 8pm").

[Rohanna]

If it's an iphone, judging from your "slide the bar" comment:

The Do Not Disturb feature is great when you want to keep your iPhone quiet. Under the settings on your handset you can choose to toggle it or you can alternatively set up quiet times if you go into Settings, Notifications and then choose Do Not Disturb. You can now set yourself a time range and make sure that calls from contacts you choose always come through.

I love this feature, because my FIL *always* calls my phone at 8pm as well, even when he knows my husband is at work and that is when I am putting the kids to bed. Now I just filter calls out- but I don't have to worry about remembering to turn the phone back on. As well, there is an "emergency" setting that allows callbacks within 3 minutes to ring through, though that won't help with a persistant SS.

[Piratelvr1121]

Given your sister's previous controlling behavior and "Me, me, me" ways, yeah, you handled it just fine and I'm with PP's that it's totally controlling!

[Auntie Mame]

As I explained to my Mom, a cell phone does not mean I am now on call 24/7.  I answer my phone only when it is convenient for me to talk.  If it's urgent, leave a message and I will check my voicemail and call back.

Your sister is being obnoxious and inconsiderate.

[JoW]

Another think you can do is put her in your contacts list and assign her number the ring tone "no ring" if you never want to answer her calls, or a single beep if you want to know when she calls and answer when it works for you.

Refusing to chat with here when you are busy is perfectly reasonable. 

[Tea Drinker]

Yesterday a friend of mine returned my call from the day before, and was somewhat apologetic about not having answered the phone at the time (because she was feeling stressed). Remembering this thread, I pointed out that I had just called to chat (that had been in my message) and added that she's not a paramedic, and if it had been an emergency, I would have called 9-1-1.

[Golden Phoenix]

The great Stephen Fry describes the telephone as being the rudest invention of our time. He says it's the equivalent of someone standing in your house, banging on the table and shouting "Talk to me now! Talk to me now! Talk to me now!"

A ringing phone is not a summons although many people treat it that way. Feel free to ignore it. Your sister is being utterly obnoxious.

[tangelloyellow]

I agree you were fine. I live time zones away from friends and family and I always take it into account.

None of my friends or family have requested I don't call at a certain time. I just worked it out through knowing what they get up to with commitments/kids/work.

The fact that you specifically outlined the bad times to call - and she still does it - is pretty selfish.

She sounds like a friend of mine who always calls when I am at work. Why dear friend? Why? In any case I just listen to her voice message and if it is not important I ring her back on the bluetooth while driving home.

[LilacRosey]

I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all., LilacRosey

[oogyda]

If she doesn't call at 8, she calls right at 6, when I'm putting dinner on the table, so the next busiest time of day. This is very frustrating for me. She doesn't work business hours so she could call at 11, or 1, or 2, or 3, when things are usually pretty quiet, but she likes to talk in the evening I guess.

Why don't you call her 11, or 1, or 2, or 3?  Just every now and then to "train" her that this is when you have time to talk. 

If you just don't want to talk to her, you don't have JADE to us....or her.

[weeblewobble]

It sounds like another example of your sister trying to power play you into doing something you don't want to do, because it will show that she has control over you.  She's getting upset because you're not playing along.  Good for you.

[rain]

update?

[thedudeabides]

You're doing fine. I'd just turn the phone on silent and let it ring.