Author Topic: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?  (Read 6900 times)

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Katana_Geldar

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Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« on: November 06, 2012, 06:01:37 PM »
Just wondering, is it ever ok to hang up on someone? My sister (and come to think of it, a few other family members too) think its ok to ring mr up to shout at me and/or accuse me of something.

The one thing I cannot stand is someone shouting at me over the phone. I have an issue with people shouting at me in general, but there's something about holding a phone with someone shouting oil of it. It's like a box full of noise.

When that happens, I do tell her to not shout in a firm (but not loud) voice and if she continues to do so I will hang up. And when she does, I hang up.

She will ring back, tell me off for hanging up on her and I tell her if she continues to shout at me I will hang up again.

Usually, the third time she calls me back she's at least civil.

Am I right in doing this? IMHO there's nothing under the sun that can't be discussed in a civil tone, but I might be the only one if my family who thinks this.

NyaChan

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2012, 06:05:07 PM »
I think you are excused in that instance.  It isn't retaliatory rudeness, IMO, you are merely protecting yourself and setting boundaries.  If I were you, next time I would wait until she calls back calm enough to let you speak, inform her that from now on if she calls you up yelling, you will hang up and not pick up at all for the rest of that night.

SiotehCat

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2012, 06:07:22 PM »
I think anytime someone is yelling/cursing or threatening you, its fine to hang up.

When we have customers that do this, my manager will ask them to stop and tell them that if they do it once more, he is going to hang up. I don't give that warning. I hang up as soon as they start cursing at me.

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2012, 06:31:57 PM »
1) If someone is abusing you.
2) If you have tried repeatedly to end the call and they won't stop talking.
3) In an emergency.
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WillyNilly

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #4 on: November 06, 2012, 06:49:57 PM »
Of course its ok to hang up on someone who is shouting at and berating you. Its also ok to not pick up when they call back and instead screen calls until they've settled down.

Its also ok to hang up on telemarketers after saying "no thank you" or "I'm not interested".
Its ok to hang up on recorded messages.
Its ok to hang up aftr saying "wrong number" without listening to any other questions (like "well what number is this?" Or "well actually you sound hot...")
Its ok to hang up on prank or obscene calls.
Its ok to hang up when the conection is so bad all you hear is "a up bur wha eh fo cha" or some variation therein.

Its also ok to hang up in the midst of an emergency like an oven fire or cat fight or kid bleeding, although its best to call back an apologise later.

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #5 on: November 06, 2012, 08:06:54 PM »
That hanging up on a telemarketer reminded me of one that called and asked if I was satisfied with my bank. I said 'Yes' and hung up. Then he called me back.

But yeah, I won't feel guilty now. It was made worse when she called me on a night I told her not to unless an emergency.

SamiHami

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #6 on: November 06, 2012, 08:23:16 PM »
And if the above advice isn't enough to convince you, remember-you pay for your telephone and service. You are perfectly within your etiquette rights to decide that this service will not be used for someone else to abuse, yell, annoy or otherwise bother you.

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Venus193

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2012, 10:08:25 PM »
Of course its ok to hang up on someone who is shouting at and berating you. Its also ok to not pick up when they call back and instead screen calls until they've settled down.

Its also ok to hang up on telemarketers after saying "no thank you" or "I'm not interested".
Its ok to hang up on recorded messages.
Its ok to hang up aftr saying "wrong number" without listening to any other questions (like "well what number is this?" Or "well actually you sound hot...")
Its ok to hang up on prank or obscene calls.
Its ok to hang up when the conection is so bad all you hear is "a up bur wha eh fo cha" or some variation therein.

Its also ok to hang up in the midst of an emergency like an oven fire or cat fight or kid bleeding, although its best to call back an apologise later.

This.

Although I tend to have this problem with only one person who happens to be very insecure.  She shouts if she's in a panic or if we're having a disagreement.  I hold the phone at arm's length and I can still hear her.  What I then do is take a deep breath and tell her -- in my most authoritative tone -- that shouting is both unnecessary and rude and that I will not tolerate it.  If that doesn't prompt an immediate apology I inform her that I will hang up on her the next time she does this.  I follow through with that if necessary.

MrTango

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #8 on: November 06, 2012, 11:41:45 PM »
I'm of the opinion that if someone starts shouting and/or swearing, the other party is not rude to hang up the phone.

If I've hung up on someone because they are swearing and/or shouting at me, I will let the phone roll over to voicemail if they try calling back.

MariaE

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #9 on: November 07, 2012, 12:54:45 AM »
And if the above advice isn't enough to convince you, remember-you pay for your telephone and service. You are perfectly within your etiquette rights to decide that this service will not be used for someone else to abuse, yell, annoy or otherwise bother you.

Depends on where the OP lives. I only pay for outgoing calls - incoming calls are free.

But other than that I agree with PPs.
 
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Shopaholic

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #10 on: November 07, 2012, 03:02:57 AM »
Of course its ok to hang up on someone who is shouting at and berating you. Its also ok to not pick up when they call back and instead screen calls until they've settled down. Definitely

Its also ok to hang up on telemarketers after saying "no thank you" or "I'm not interested". I would add a "Bye!"
Its ok to hang up on recorded messages. Yes
Its ok to hang up aftr saying "wrong number" without listening to any other questions (like "well what number is this?" Or "well actually you sound hot...") Also add a "bye!"
Its ok to hang up on prank or obscene calls. Definitely
Its ok to hang up when the conection is so bad all you hear is "a up bur wha eh fo cha" or some variation therein. Add "Can't hear you, hanging up now - bye!"

Its also ok to hang up in the midst of an emergency like an oven fire or cat fight or kid bleeding, although its best to call back an apologise later.

artk2002

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #11 on: November 07, 2012, 11:17:24 AM »
A agree with PP. It's not rude, although it could be done rudely.

Here's the core problem: Many people assume that they need their conversational partner's permission to end a call. You don't. Either party can end the call when it suits them. I have no qualms about cutting off a telemarketer and saying "I'm not interested. Good-bye" *click*  I don't wait for them to let me go because they're not going to give me permission! The same thing applies if someone is ranting at me. I'm not going to be held hostage by someone else simply because of a misplaced idea of "polite."

Polite is in how you manage the end of the call. It ranges from "Ooops, sorry, gotta run. Let's catch up this evening" to "Not interested. Put me on your do-not-call. Good-bye." Even up to just *click* if someone is abusing you. It all depends on the tenor of the conversation and your relationship to the other person.

This is related to the idea that someone is rude for not answering the phone whenever someone else calls. It's not rude. The phone exists for the owner's convenience, not the convenience of callers. I'm not paying money to make myself a puppet dancing whenever someone else pulls a string. I'm not paying to give someone a conduit to abuse me. I'm not paying to listen to something I have no interest in hearing.
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betty

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #12 on: November 07, 2012, 11:57:31 AM »
OP, I just wanted to let you know I had the same situation with my brother this weekend. He wouldn't let me get a word in, and kept going on about the issue he had with me. I said, "I'm hanging up now" and did just that. Later in the day I called and left a message that I would be happy to talk to him when he was calm and ready for a conversation.

Rude? Maybe. Self-preservation for me? Yup. That wins.

BarensMom

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #13 on: November 07, 2012, 01:20:21 PM »
This thread came up in conversation at dinner last night.  Not to sidetrack the thread, but is it okay to hang up on a friend/acquaintance who is obviously drunk to the point of repeating the same things ad nauseam? 

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: Is it ever ok to hang up on someone?
« Reply #14 on: November 07, 2012, 01:23:01 PM »
This thread came up in conversation at dinner last night.  Not to sidetrack the thread, but is it okay to hang up on a friend/acquaintance who is obviously drunk to the point of repeating the same things ad nauseam?

I consider that falling under "abuse", as in they're abusing your relation-ship.
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