Finding Time to Eat

[MissBrit]

I have run into a bit of a dilemma at work that I don't know the polite way to resolve. My office closes from 12-1 for lunch. On Thursdays during that time, I have a weekly therapy appointment. My therapist only works Tuesday and Thursday and not before 8am or after 5pm so lunch is the only time I can see her without missing a lot of work. I leave about 15 minutes before 12 and get back in 15 minutes after 1. This means that I don't get to eat any lunch. (The type of therapy is talk therapy if you're wondering). I usually bring some basic snacks (think chips, protein bars, fruit leathers, etc) to snack on while I am working.

The problem: My coworker who I sit right next to is about 9 weeks pregnant and has "pregnancy nose". She has started complaining about some of the smells of the food that I eat and I am not sure what to do. I have been noting what bothers her and not buying it I was told that my eating still bothers her. My options are 1) Wait till my 15 minute break at 4pm 2) Just eat anyway or 3) Another coworker suggested just taking my break once I got back from my appointment so I can eat really quickly. I don't want to be an SS but I have a hard time going without eating. What should I do?

[NyaChan]

What does the other coworker do?  Does no one eat in the office at all other than you?

[sourwolf]

Can you pack a sandwich and apple/banana/whatever and eat it on the way to/from your therapy appointment? It's not ideal but it could work.

[SamiHami]

The best solution, of course, is for the two of you to work out a compromise. Ask you coworker what she thinks would be inoffensive to her "pregnancy nose" and if feasible (as in something reasonable, portable and that you like) try to stick to those items while she's in this phase.

If she tries to insist that you cannot eat anything at all at your desk because it "bothers" her, you might reminder her that going hungry "bothers" you, and that as long as the office rules permit food at your desk, you will continue to have your snacks.

It's really nice to accomodate someone when you are able to, but ultimately her being pregnant  doesn't give her license to change the office rules/culture.

[camlan]

How long does "pregnancy nose" last? Is it the whole nine months, or does it fade away at some point? Is no one going to be able to eat at their desk for the remainder of the pregnancy?

How exactly does the smell bother her? If a particular food smell makes her vomit, then I would avoid that food entirely. If she just objects to the smell of a food, but it doesn't make her ill, then I would go ahead and eat that food, on the basis that non-pregnant people in offices often have to smell food they don't particularly like, like microwave popcorn.

I would do my best to accommodate her by not eating the foods she finds most objectionable. But I wouldn't go without any lunch at all. Even on days when you don't have an appointment, you might have to eat lunch at your desk on a particularly busy day.

[PastryGoddess]

The best solution, of course, is for the two of you to work out a compromise. Ask you coworker what she thinks would be inoffensive to her "pregnancy nose" and if feasible (as in something reasonable, portable and that you like) try to stick to those items while she's in this phase.

If she tries to insist that you cannot eat anything at all at your desk because it "bothers" her, you might reminder her that going hungry "bothers" you, and that as long as the office rules permit food at your desk, you will continue to have your snacks.

It's really nice to accomodate someone when you are able to, but ultimately her being pregnant  doesn't give her license to change the office rules/culture.

^^^
Yes.  You can't allow yourself to go hungry because your food bothers her.  You need to nip this in the bud now

[elephantschild]

How long does "pregnancy nose" last? Is it the whole nine months, or does it fade away at some point? Is no one going to be able to eat at their desk for the remainder of the pregnancy?

Depends. I had this with both pregnancies. With No. 1, it was a brief time in the beginning/middle of the pregnancy. With No. 2 ... well, in some ways, it was the whole 9 months.

I might ask you to abstain from one or two things if they were really, really bothering me, but otherwise I'd consider it my problem to solve.

If your office culture/rules say you can eat at your desk, you should be able to do so. It would be nice to talk to her and see what really sets her off, though. Trust me, it's no fun from the other end.

[Acadianna]

I'd apply "airlline etiquette" to this situation.  In other words, you should avoid any strong- or unusual-smelling food -- and perhaps one or two items that she finds especially bothersome -- but anything beyond that is her problem to solve.  Your needs are just as important as hers, and you need to eat.

[KenveeB]

I would eat in the car on my way to or from my appointment. It's easy enough to pick up or pack something portable, and that way you're actually eating during your lunch break instead of taking additional time to do it.

[kareng57]

I would eat in the car on my way to or from my appointment. It's easy enough to pick up or pack something portable, and that way you're actually eating during your lunch break instead of taking additional time to do it.

But that won't work if OP takes transit or walks to her appointments with her therapist.

I agree about the "airline etiquette" - it doesn't sound to me as though OP has been eating any very-strongly smelling foods; I've honestly never noticed things that protein bars even having any kind of a smell.  Perhaps pregnant co-worker does - but honestly, at that stage it's her own problem to solve.  She could find a sheltered place to eat outside, for example.

[MariaE]

I would eat in the car on my way to or from my appointment. It's easy enough to pick up or pack something portable, and that way you're actually eating during your lunch break instead of taking additional time to do it.

But that won't work if OP takes transit or walks to her appointments with her therapist.

I agree about the "airline etiquette" - it doesn't sound to me as though OP has been eating any very-strongly smelling foods; I've honestly never noticed things that protein bars even having any kind of a smell.  Perhaps pregnant co-worker does - but honestly, at that stage it's her own problem to solve.  She could find a sheltered place to eat outside, for example.

Actually, it works better if the OP takes transit or walks to her appointments. That way she doesn't have to eat and drive.

[GSNW]

You could drink a smoothie for lunch on Thursdays.  This would probably tide you over until the 4pm break, at which point you could chow on some real food.

I think it's very polite of you to take her needs into consideration, especially as this is a once-a-week and temporary issue, but don't stray into territory that is super inconvenient for you.

[Redsoil]

I was going to say something similar to GSNW.  Something liquid that will fill you up and have reasonable nutritional value could work.  That way, you can either consume it on the way to your appointment (or even during - liquids are relatively unobtrusive , not requiring chewing etc), or at your desk.  Smoothie, protein shake, one of those breakfast liquid meals etc.  Even soup in a cup.

If your co-worker objects to that, I'd say she's straying into SS territory!

[Fleur]

Your coworker is being SS. I would go ahead and eat. I mean, avoid anything that makes her sick, but it sounds like she is using pregnancy to throw her weight around.

[cicero]

The best solution, of course, is for the two of you to work out a compromise. Ask you coworker what she thinks would be inoffensive to her "pregnancy nose" and if feasible (as in something reasonable, portable and that you like) try to stick to those items while she's in this phase.

If she tries to insist that you cannot eat anything at all at your desk because it "bothers" her, you might reminder her that going hungry "bothers" you, and that as long as the office rules permit food at your desk, you will continue to have your snacks.

It's really nice to accomodate someone when you are able to, but ultimately her being pregnant  doesn't give her license to change the office rules/culture.

I agree with this.

I don't think it's fair that you will have to gulp down a sandwich "on the run" or in the car just to accommodate her. she has the right to a comfortable office space - but so do you.

I also think she is getting a bit OTT - fruit leather or energy bars don't have a strong smell (I have a sensitive nose 24/7). flavored chips do have a strong smell but the plain ones are fine.