Author Topic: When dinner is significantly delayed...  (Read 22576 times)

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Yvaine

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #45 on: November 07, 2012, 03:38:33 PM »
Thanks for the answers. Aside from whipped cream, which is the only must be served right now topping that I know of,, I guess the $15 dollars in groceries  was for wine?

I think I'm confused???  :-[ :-[ :-[

She is asking the OP what were the items she bought for $15.

No, I understood that much, I just couldn't figure out where the whipped cream and wine came from.

artk2002

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #46 on: November 07, 2012, 03:41:46 PM »
I doubt it was intentional on Annie's part. Just a function of poor planning. However, that doesn't make it any less rude considering OP expressly told Annie that they needed to eat early. It was also really rude not to apologize and say goodbye. Annie's not good with schedules, fine, but she should've acknowledged the inconvenience.

Poor planning is intending to serve at 6:30 and serving at 7:00 (barring any accident, etc.)  Inviting for 6:30 when you have a guest with a hard stop time at 8:00, and not even starting to cook until 7:30 isn't poor planning.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

NyaChan

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #47 on: November 07, 2012, 03:52:57 PM »
I think whipped cream was the only guess the poster could make as to what a topping which shouldn't sit out (the description given by OP) would be.  Since that doesn't cost $15, the poster further guessed that OP must have bought wine.

kittytongue

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #48 on: November 07, 2012, 03:55:56 PM »
Is it bad that after reading the thread I still only really have a problem with your DH not leaving with you? Annie was really rude. But my husband not backing me up and then leaving me by myself to deal with the problem with our kid? There'd be a Discussion when he finally got home.

Edited to add:
The reason that I'd be having it out with my husband after he got home is this. I think that "You're being rude by wanting to leave to take care of DS" translates to "I'm having fun and don't want to be bothered dealing with reality intruding here. Stop being a buzzkill by expecting me to back you up." Granted that is my take on the situation. YMMV.
« Last Edit: November 07, 2012, 04:11:02 PM by kittytongue »

Luci

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #49 on: November 07, 2012, 03:56:29 PM »
I think whipped cream was the only guess the poster could make as to what a topping which shouldn't sit out (the description given by OP) would be.  Since that doesn't cost $15, the poster further guessed that OP must have bought wine.

Yes. Just a silly guess, some curiousity, and completely unimportant to the intent of the thread.

NyaChan

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #50 on: November 07, 2012, 03:57:41 PM »
I was actually thinking it might be cheese or sour cream.

CakeBeret

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #51 on: November 07, 2012, 04:11:20 PM »
Oh. Bakery bread, avocados, good leaf lettuce, and tomatoes.
"From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful."

CakeBeret

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #52 on: November 07, 2012, 04:13:36 PM »
The reason that I'd be having it out with my husband after he got home is this. I think that "You're being rude by wanting to leave to take care of DS" translates to "I'm having fun and don't want to be bothered dealing with reality intruding here. Stop being a buzzkill by expecting me to back you up." Granted that is my take on the situation. YMMV.

DH and Joe had plans, so it was predetermined that Son and I would leave after dinner. DH tends to think that anything that causes others discomfort is rude, and since leaving before dinner is served makes a big statement, he thinks causing the hostess discomfort is rude.
"From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful."

Jones

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #53 on: November 07, 2012, 04:15:45 PM »
Oh. Bakery bread, avocados, good leaf lettuce, and tomatoes.

Aw, I was hoping for something sinfully tastey like ice cream toppings; caramel, butterscotch, cookies waiting to be crumbed up....I don't know why, it just sounds delightful I guess.

Ahem. You should have reclaimed and taken your groceries home, could have made some great sandwiches.

Zilla

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #54 on: November 07, 2012, 04:16:02 PM »
The reason that I'd be having it out with my husband after he got home is this. I think that "You're being rude by wanting to leave to take care of DS" translates to "I'm having fun and don't want to be bothered dealing with reality intruding here. Stop being a buzzkill by expecting me to back you up." Granted that is my take on the situation. YMMV.

DH and Joe had plans, so it was predetermined that Son and I would leave after dinner. DH tends to think that anything that causes others discomfort is rude, and since leaving before dinner is served makes a big statement, he thinks causing the hostess discomfort is rude.
So he thought it was fine for them to serve it over 2 hours later and not to acknowledge your leaving because you were committing the larger faux pas? 

Sophia

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #55 on: November 07, 2012, 04:32:03 PM »
I think some people will quickly think that they are theirs are rude, but slow to think the same of outsiders.  Seems to be based on upbringing. 

WillyNilly

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #56 on: November 07, 2012, 04:45:14 PM »
The reason that I'd be having it out with my husband after he got home is this. I think that "You're being rude by wanting to leave to take care of DS" translates to "I'm having fun and don't want to be bothered dealing with reality intruding here. Stop being a buzzkill by expecting me to back you up." Granted that is my take on the situation. YMMV.

DH and Joe had plans, so it was predetermined that Son and I would leave after dinner. DH tends to think that anything that causes others discomfort is rude, and since leaving before dinner is served makes a big statement, he thinks causing the hostess discomfort is rude.
So he thought it was fine for them to serve it over 2 hours later and not to acknowledge your leaving because you were committing the larger faux pas?

Well I bet if Cake had stayed, then he would have thought the hosts were rude, because she would have been the one made uncomfortable by them.  But because she left, she was the rude one for making them uncomfortable.

I've met people like that and really they don't make too much sense and you can't really win, so most people just brush them off and do what they've gotta do.

perpetua

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #57 on: November 07, 2012, 04:49:02 PM »
Hello - I'm new here although I've read for a while, so I hope it's OK to steam in on this.

I think Annie was probably a bit rude, maybe a bit passive aggressive and certainly badly organized.

However, I also think it's rude to turn up for a 6.30 dinner then eat and run, which is pretty much what you'd have had to do to get your son home for bed at 8. What time did you arrive?

I've read a lot of threads here about dinner parties and it seems to me that it's more about the food than the socializing, which I find a bit... odd. I do think it's rude to eat and run like that - it says 'I'm only here for the food' to me.

Drawberry

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #58 on: November 07, 2012, 04:50:20 PM »
I have to agree with lilihob in what they said about the hostess not 'agreeing' with your schedule. I've seen and been on the receiving end of people passive aggressively displaying their dislike of everything from me enjoying foreign foods to how other people handle their own children's lives. I think when it comes down to people having a specific way of life, like say not enjoying foreign fare or having a specific set of standards for their family and children, when someone else breaks out of that mold it can be threatening in a way. Even for something that is normally completely absurd to feel agitated or threatened by like whether or not your granddaughter eats Japanese food or another couple has a different way of handling their children (assuming neglect or abuse is not present of course).

The hostess may have been off-put by your initial decline and felt some kind of passive aggression as if she imagined you holding your own parenting styles above hers and making it more important. Which is clearly absurd, but again I've seen and been on the receiving end of equally nonsensical passive aggression.

That said, I don't think she was particularly out to destroy your life or anything of the sort, but I do think her choices on how to handle the evening where conscious ones and not an accident. The way the couple treated you as you left with your child demonstrated extreme rudeness and passive aggression.

I am also going to side with those who expressed dislike for how your husband handled the scenario as well. It feels as if he was just putting his own entertainment in front of the needs of you and your child and just let you take hold of it all so he would avoid seeming 'rude' to this couple and not have to give up his previous plans. I'd be very upset and not make it a secret.


Shoo

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Re: When dinner is significantly delayed...
« Reply #59 on: November 07, 2012, 04:51:01 PM »
Hello - I'm new here although I've read for a while, so I hope it's OK to steam in on this.

I think Annie was probably a bit rude, maybe a bit passive aggressive and certainly badly organized.

However, I also think it's rude to turn up for a 6.30 dinner then eat and run, which is pretty much what you'd have had to do to get your son home for bed at 8. What time did you arrive?

I've read a lot of threads here about dinner parties and it seems to me that it's more about the food than the socializing, which I find a bit... odd. I do think it's rude to eat and run like that - it says 'I'm only here for the food' to me.

If dinner were ready at 6:30, there would have been plenty of time for socializing during and afterward.  And besides, that was the agreement going into it.  The hosts knew the OP had a deadline.