On the other hand, that's my kid, and I know not everyone's kids are like mine. I'm not going to push other people to do things my way any more than I want them to tell me that I'm wrong for not keeping him on a strict schedule. . . . One thing I'm specifically not going to do is agree to something that fits their schedule, and then intentionally draw things out to mess up that schedule just because I disapprove of it. That is extremely rude, and even as a parent who doesn't do a strict schedule, I can say that the host in the OP was PA, and very, very rude.
I'm not going to say that Annie was *intentionally* making dinner take so long.
But I'll tell you that even accidentally
I'm not going to take an 2.5 HOURS to get some sort of dinner before my guests when they arrive at my home. Or if it took me that long, I'm not going to be ignoring them the whole time. Nor would I omit an apology
when they said, "It's getting too late, I have to leave."
THAT is the part of this that makes this whole thing so rude, and not just "lame at timing dining." (I've *been* "lame at timing dinner," but I wasn't rude on top of it.)
The hosts didn't make much of an effort to interact w/ their guests; they didn't apparently apologize that stuff was late and explain it, and when two of their guests *had* to leave, they didn't bother to even call out from the kitchen, let alone come out and say anything.
I'd have been apologizing all over the place at 7pm. And making some "oh, the heck with it!" decisions. We'd have eaten the carrots raw instead of cooked.
I'd also have been asking at least one of my guest (since these are good friends) if they'd be willing to pull the salad together, or something, to speed things up.
(Heck, Annie was sure willing to ask for topping stuff that cost $15; that doesn't indicate that asking for help would have been such a faux pas between them.)
You can be damned sure that if CakeBeret had been at one of OUR houses, she wouldn't be posting at Etiquette Hell about this--because not a ONE of us would have let her leave our house without an apology for our bad timing. She'd have left KNOWING that the friendship hadn't been damaged and that she hadn't been rude.