I think the OP's hostess and host had said the half hour would be fine.
Frankly, if I had invited someone w/ a narrow window for dinner, I *would* have had dinner ready BY 6:30.
I think it was rude to be in the kitchen cooking, with their guests cooling their heels in the other room. You don't invite people over to watch you cook. Your cooking should mostly be done by the time they get there.
Don't get me wrong--I have had people over for dinner and not been finished when they arrive. But--I always regard it as a failure when that happens, unless it's a few last-minute touches.
And even in those situations, we socialized WHILE I finished up. We talked--they stood in the kitchen doorway, or my DH entertained them in the living room with me shouting comments from the kitchen or running out briefly to be part of the convo when it got suddenly interesting.
I think this was a lesson for the OP--while your kid is little, evening dinner get-togethers aren't a good idea. Maybe they'll work if *you* host, but they leave you a very short socializing time. And it's the rare host that can make your short socializing time work. Apparently THIS particular hostess and host can't do it.
Let's just see how you do on the Thanksgiving you get to finally host, Toots. Timing is a difficult thing, especially with a large meal. I don't have two ovens. When the Turkey comes out, I have to put all the sides in the oven to heat while the turkey stands.. I am not a bad hostess b/c I still have food cooking when guests arrive.
This last Cdn TG, I had plenty of appetizers, beverages and snacks. The turkey was taking longer than normal. Turkey is unpredictable. It was still in the oven when guests arrived and I still had to heat the sides. Sometimes it can't be helped not matter how much I tried to put on a good meal. That does not make me a failure in the kitchen.
Please let me know how you do in a couple weeks and let's revisit. I think you're being a bit judgmental. When a hostess is trying and things get a bit behind, that is not rude or a poor hostess.
The hostess in the OP, she was rude, but in general as you described, not everyone has dinner ready upon arrival and it is not rude for it not to be ready.