I'm in a quandary. Being a southern lady of a certain age, I am well versed in etiquette. This site has made me even more so. Thank you.
I have a friend, lets call her Jamie. We're recent friends for about a year now. She is somewhat P/A but otherwise nice enough. Then there is Rachel. Rachel was friends without benefits with the fella I am now living with. They would have dinner occasionally, movies that sort of thing. I met Rachel at Jamie's Xmas party last year when fella and I were first out in public together. FWIW, I am a widow of two years so the acquaintance is not unseemly. Fella is also somewhat socially awkward.
My next encounter with Rachel was a few months later when she told Fella her printer wasn't working (in front of me at a play) and was wondering if he could come to her house to work on it. He is a computer geek by trade. I laughed when she left and told him there was nothing wrong with her printer. He did not go by.
Had lunch with the "girls" about two weeks ago. Rachel swore we had never met before. Later that day she asked, according to Jamie, why I didn't like her? My response was "She never has met me what possible opinion could I have? She seems nice enough."
Jamie is, as many of us, having some financial difficulties. She was planning a "Red Hat" ladies luncheon on November 15 but has found she really can't afford it. BG - Red Hat Ladies are a bunch of us old broads over 50 who get together and raise hell and do good works. Now, Jamie can't pay the rent. She asked if it would be ok to cancel. I said if you can't pay the rent I don't really see how you can handle Turkey and the fixings for 20 of your "closest" friends. Just tell them you can't and suggest someone else host and you can bring something along. Or suggest use your place and everyone help out. I would never expect a friend to put herself in financial harm to throw a party.
So she did and now Rachel has called her and said I was sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong. OK, I get it she is jealous of me for various reasons. I am not a Red Hat lady, I am invited to functions and occasionally attend as I did last week because they want me to join and I want to know about the charitable causes they support. Also, she didn't want the guy but I did. I am also a bit socially awkward but have always been polite to her when we meet. As some of you may know from the hugs folder my Fella is stuck in Bermuda on a boat after going through Hurricane Sandy. At the Red Hat meeting several mutual friends asked about it. Rachel sat at the end of the table glowering at me.
My question is how do I deal with her when I see her at our mutual group of friends on the real Thanksgiving? I am polite and courteous but this does not seem to be getting me any where.
Ideas? Or should I just smile, bean dip and move along?