Author Topic: "But it's only..." Dismissive comments - how to deal with?  (Read 7523 times)

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Allyson

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Re: "But it's only..." Dismissive comments - how to deal with?
« Reply #30 on: November 08, 2012, 10:12:50 PM »
I think this is a 'let it go' scenario, because there's not much you're going to be able to say that will get someone to see it your way. If you bring up all the worst case scenarios that could happen, you'll just upset yourself and make the other person think you're being dramatic. I know I get impatient with one of my coworkers who, from my perspective, seems to focus on the one in a million bad things that could happen to her kid. She tries to drive the point home by telling me scary child abduction stories, but the statistics still say it's really rare.

So, if it bothers you, I say just change the subject. Many of them are probably not trying to be dismissive, especially when you yourself are saying he's doing fine and it's 'just' a few spots and so on. It sounds like you have a good group of other parents who you can really vent to, so do that with them. Make a sympathetic-only group for facebook posts and so on.

kareng57

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Re: "But it's only..." Dismissive comments - how to deal with?
« Reply #31 on: November 08, 2012, 10:24:20 PM »
I'm honestly not sure what you are seeking, here.

Most of us know that CP is terribly uncomfortable, at least for kids who are above toddler age.  And most of the general public knows that the vast majority of the time, that's all that it is.  You know yourself that the complication-rate is about 1/1000 or so.  But , when you say, "okay, he's only got a few spots" - you're expecting people to answer "you do know that it can be fatal"??

I'm kind of scratching my head here, perhaps some of the people you are conversing with are doing the same......

lollylegs

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Re: "But it's only..." Dismissive comments - how to deal with?
« Reply #32 on: November 09, 2012, 02:51:01 AM »
I get the impression that it might be more about the tone and non-verbal cues than the words themselves - there's a world of difference between *concerned face* "Oh well, at least it's only chicken pox!" and *rolling eyes* "Pfft, settle down, it's just chicken pox."

Hollanda

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Re: "But it's only..." Dismissive comments - how to deal with?
« Reply #33 on: November 09, 2012, 03:49:08 AM »
I think in DS's case he was ill for practically a month before getting this. It was one thing after another and we were beginning to wonder what we were doing wrong. Practically 3 weeks of little or no sleep prior to the spots appearing and no sleep at all the week before. He's been in and out of the Drs with  "minor" illnesses...but so many all at once was concerning, as he had been so healthy before that and not had anything apart from colds.  It's not so much that we wwere overreacting or overstating things...it is what it is. Maybe these people...some of them anyway...were thinking "What else can the poor mite get now?!". The worry in the back of my mind (and it may or may not have been different if I didn't work where I do ) was that he had been so under the weather that his body would find it harder to fight the virus.

So I am thinking that maybe I was overthinking this. Being a bit sensitive, like. But I've had some great views, some of which have made me think. Thank you guys!
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Wordgeek

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Re: "But it's only..." Dismissive comments - how to deal with?
« Reply #34 on: November 09, 2012, 01:04:42 PM »
Insofar as this is an etiquette issue, the matter has been sufficiently dealt with.